Ever notice how some people seem to get stronger the harder you try to please them? That’s not a personality clash—it’s a power dynamic. We dig into why “poison people” are drawn to emotionally fluent, caring humans and how their control thrives on explanations, real-time reactions, and the need to be liked. The shift isn’t about becoming tougher or louder; it’s about becoming anchored and unavailable for the game.

We unpack the psychology behind people-pleasing—reading rooms, smoothing tension, absorbing discomfort—and how the wrong audience reads that as flexible boundaries. Then we flip the script. Instead of asking how to be more agreeable, we ask why someone needs you small. That single question exposes the engine of control. Steph shares a sharp story from her early days working in France, where constant nitpicking had less to do with performance and more to do with status. The moment she recognized the pattern, the sting dissolved and the power returned to its rightful owner.

You’ll walk away with five tactical tools to protect your energy and hold your ground: shorter statements that close loops, detaching from being understood, regulating before responding, choosing dignity over victory, and anchoring to the bigger picture to shift from victim to architect. We also emphasize a core truth: boundaries don’t make you mean, they make you honest. You can stay warm and kind without being available for manipulation. If you’ve been over-functioning to earn safety or acceptance, this conversation helps you stop negotiating your worth and start standing in it.

If the message resonates, share it with a friend who doubts themselves around “that one person,” subscribe for more grounded coaching, and leave a review so other recovering people pleasers can find their way here. Your peace is not up for negotiation—let’s keep it that way.

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Music from #Uppbeat
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