How do you begin the difficult dialogue around end-of-life wishes for your care recipient? When you are the caregiver for someone whose health is declining, the reality of death can be overshadowing and feel frightening to acknowledge. So often, it’s as though we fear that simply speaking about death will speed it to our door. Karla Kerr, a funeral director and death doula in Victoria, BC, sees things differently. She approaches conversations with families who are facing or have just experienced death in an exploratory and compassionate way that recognizes death is inevitable.

Respecting and upholding the wishes of care recipients can only be accomplished through practical, values-centred communication. Death has a tendency to reveal to us what is most important; engaging in these conversations can have a tremendous impact on the depth and intensity of our relationships, especially when we prioritize them when we still have plenty of time, rather than waiting until the end.

Discover how Karla’s experiences with hundreds of families at this pivotal moment can inform your own conversations with your care recipient:

• The importance of acknowledging the inevitability of death and having reverence for the death process
• Why it is so beneficial to talk about what is most meaningful before the final moments
• The hard questions that will ensure you can take action with deference to their values and beliefs
• The positive impact of gratitude at every stage of our relationships

Resources:

• Learn more about Karla Kerr, End of Life Planning and Care - https://karlakerr.ca/
• A Caregiver’s Guide: A Handbook About End-of-Life Care - https://www.virtualhospice.ca/Assets/CHPCA%20caregivers_guide_2015_en_20170314094930.pdf
• After Death Checklist from Government of BC - https://www.familycaregiversbc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/After-Death-Checklist-Government-of-BC-1.pdf
• Proactively Planning for End-of-Life Blog - https://www.familycaregiversbc.ca/archives/19255
• Canadian Hospice Palliative Care Association - https://www.chpca.ca/
• Canadian Virtual Hospice - https://www.virtualhospice.ca/en_US/Main+Site+Navigation/Home/Support/Support.aspx
• Family Caregivers of BC Caregiver Support Line - 1-877-520-3267 (Monday through Friday 8:30am to 4pm PT)

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To read a full transcript of each episode, visit the Family Caregivers of BC website https://www.familycaregiversbc.ca/podcast

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Thank you!

BC Ministry of Health - Patients as Partners Initiative - https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/health/about-bc-s-health-care-system/partners/patients

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