Grief is incredibly hard work. And it's sacred work, not just something frivolous to indulge in while neglecting the "real" work that we're "supposed" to doing (like "getting past it" or "staying strong" or "making a living.") And the contours or "geography" of grief can resemble actual geological landscapes, from soaring and plunging, wild, dramatic mountains to endless, flat, monotonous plains -- each of which has something to teach us, questions to pose.

Last time I noted that the podcast had been on hiatus for almost a year and a half because of the death of my wife Kim. This episode begins to unpacks that reality a bit, to honor her … and to honor the reality that everyone, each of us, is touched by grief at some point in our lives. Each of us faces loss, heartbreak, devastation, suffering, loneliness. It’s universal, unavoidable, inescapable – and each of us experiences it in our own way. This time I’ll tell the story, the basics of what happened, by way of sharing with you a letter I wrote last spring to the multitalented performer Mandy Patinkin, star of stage and screen whose one-man show Kim and I went to see over in St. Paul, on what turned out to be our last date.

Season 2 kicks off with a lively conversation about all things superheroes, with TJ Warren. In this season of deep cultural division and despair, the creep of fascism and threats to democracy, we're well served by a re-launch episode that lifts our spirits, provides food for thought and nourishment for our souls, and invites us more deeply into the true selves that our families, our communities, the world need us to be.

Here's the third installment of my delightful and illuminating conversation with the renowned author, educator, and activist Parker Palmer. You can learn more about him and his work on the website of the Center for Courage and Renewal.

In this episode, Parker reflects on the "power of anger in the work of love" and its relationship with his steadfast commitment to active nonviolence in a troubled and divided world; on the lessons about neighboring that he and his wife Sharon have learned from the family who live next to their backyard; and on the ways that Pause, Purpose, and Possibility show up in his own life. He leaves us with the gift of not one but two of his poems: "Snow" (you'll love it!) and "Everything Falls Away" (you'll love this one too!)

This week’s episode is the second of what will be a three-part series featuring my rich and delightful conversation with none other than the renowned author and educator Parker J. Palmer. You can see a more complete introduction of him in the show notes for Episode 23, or on the website for the Center for Courage and Renewal: couragerenewal.org

A highlight of this part of the conversation revolves around stories and reflections on the importance of (quoting Thomas Merton) "being present in the world in hiddenness and compassion" -- the power of showing up with and for others as we really are.

Parker has written:

“My personal legacy? I’d like it to be one of good humor, good will and generosity. I’d like it to be said that we had a lot of laughs, we extended a lot of kindness, and we built an abundant storehouse of heart-and-soul resources that anyone can draw on.”

That’s exactly what you’ll get a taste of as you listen in on my conversation with Parker Palmer. Welcome, and enjoy!

This week’s episode is the first of what will be a three-part series featuring my rich and delightful conversation with none other than the renowned author and educator Parker J. Palmer.

I am grateful and honored beyond words by Parker’s generosity of spirit and time, every morsel of which begs to be savored – so again, this is the first course of three-course meal, a feast, a bounty of ideas and laughter, mystery and wisdom.

As you’ll hear shortly, Parker’s own introduction of himself is grounded in and reflective of “soul” rather than “ego,” so it falls to me here to offer a brief sketch of some of the highlights of his decades-long, globally impactful work:

Parker J. Palmer is a writer, speaker and activist who focuses on issues in education, community, leadership, spirituality and social change. He is founder and Senior Partner Emeritus of the Center for Courage & Renewal, whose work “nurtures deep integrity and relational trust, building the foundation for a more loving, equitable, and healthy world. Through Circle of Trust retreats and other programs rooted in the Courage & Renewal approach we nurture supportive communities of reflection and practice to help people come alive with a renewed sense of purpose, build trustworthy relationships, and cultivate the courage to rise to today’s challenges, making a difference within themselves and their communities.”

Parker holds a Ph.D. in sociology from the University of California at Berkeley, thirteen honorary doctorates, and many, many other awards, honors, and distinctions.

Palmer is the author of ten books—including several award-winning titles—that have sold over two million copies and been translated into twelve languages:

On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting Old.

Healing the Heart of Democracy: The Courage to Create a Politics Worthy of the Human Spirit,

The Heart of Higher Education (co-authored with Arthur Zajonc),

A Hidden Wholeness,

Let Your Life Speak,

The Courage to Teach,

The Active Life,

To Know As We Are Known,

The Company of Strangers, and

The Promise of Paradox.

A member of the Religious Society of Friends (Quaker), Dr. Palmer and his wife, Sharon Palmer, live in Madison, Wisconsin.

Parker has written:

“My personal legacy? I’d like it to be one of good humor, good will and generosity. I’d like it to be said that we had a lot of laughs, we extended a lot of kindness, and we built an abundant storehouse of heart-and-soul resources that anyone can draw on.”

That’s exactly what you’ll get a taste of as you listen in on my conversation with Parker Palmer. Welcome, and enjoy!

This episode continues our exploration of “pause” by inviting stories of models or exemplars of pause. Who comes to mind and heart as practicing pause as an act of love? As solitude? As an expression of care or connection? Rest and renewal? Simply noticing? We hear stories of a wide range of inspiration around pause -- where it can come from, what it can consist of, and how it can make for deep and necessary change: work colleagues, family members, animals, children, music. And how about pause as resistance or justice-seeking? Or, in a world where the need and yearning for justice is constant, where there’s always WORK to be done, what keeps pause from being simply an indulgence that’s available only to those who can afford it? In an average human lifespan of “4000 weeks,” is there really room for pause? As you’ll hear, the consequences are greater and even more dire if we don’t pause. It’s at the heart and soul of who the broken world needs us to be as we live fully into our callings, into the invitation to be fully alive and present to the world right in front of us.

Each episode of the old TV show "Red Green" would end with the all-male cast gathering for the opening of the regular meeting of the Possum Lodge by bowing their heads for the Man’s Prayer:

I’m a man.

But I can change.

If I have to.

I guess.

While it may be true that some things have changed since then, men still have a lot of work to do – a lot of inner work, a lot of relational work, a lot of anti-racist and anti-misogynist justice work, a lot of maturing and transformation and vulnerability to embrace, a lot of posturing and armor to let go.

My guest this week, Dane Anthony, explores with me some of the ways that change, growth, transformation can happen, and not only among men, starting with questions like: How would you describe who you are without referring to your professional role or title? What might you need to “unlearn” in order to open doors and pathways to understanding yourself and your work in the world more deeply and with greater authenticity and joy? How might exploring new images of God or the holy in one’s life open up access to one’s unique “soulprint,” the sliver or spark of the divine in each of us that invites our truest selves into lives of mattering and belonging?

Dane’s professional path focuses on facilitating conversations of meaning and purpose, helping others to explore the deeper connections that bring awareness and grounded practices to work and relationships. He has fostered engagement-centered leadership in the following contexts:

• more than 30 years in Higher Education jn university chaplaincy, as a student services administrator, and as a faculty member.
• spiritual guide and mentor for more than 30 years through spiritual direction, vocational discernment, men’s groups and retreat leadership.
• 20+ years’ experience teaching and consulting with the StrengthsFinder Inventory for individuals and businesses.

Dane earned his bachelor’s degree from Missouri State University, and his Master of Divinity from Midwestern Seminary. In addition, he holds certifications in Spiritual Direction. My primary connection with Dane has been as a Facilitator in the Circle of Trust Retreat process in association with Parker Palmer and the Center for Courage & Renewal.

He has been married to Maggie for 30 years. They have 3 grown children.