Christmas Eve football thoughts, late-season story lines, teams on the brink, and a little rambling as the regular season winds down.

No analytics and no spreadsheets. Not that that's new.

A cold open on gym etiquette, an accidental impromptu Jason Statham accent during Bills/Pats, Patriots fans being the soarest losers alive, the Joe Burrow return to fun blueprint, and the Chiefs getting eliminated has left us all unsatisfied.

Weekly NFL fallout, bad impressions, and thoughts I probably should have kept to myself.

Week 14 made me laugh, smile, cry and yell. It was perfect. From the Bengals/Bills awesome snow game antics (brought to you by the Snow Guy) to the sweet, sweet downfall of the Chiefs and Ravens. this week had everything a boy could have hoped for....unless you're a Colts fan.

Week 13 gets the full Walken treatment. A shameless cold-open, a Texans/Colts recap in the weirdest voice possible, Thanksgiving leftovers, and the Panthers creeping into my brain like an intrusive thought I definitely didn't ask for.

This week on "Big Sack Weekend," Pat kicks things off with a Thanksgiving cold open that would make your aunt clutch her stuffing. Then its a full on song review of Chiefs/Colts, a brutally honest audit of the Patriots and Drake Maye, and a league-wide recap of every quarterback who took a dirt nap. it was a biblical amount of sacks. Enjoy.

An Italian tale of family leads right into a Bills - Bucs review in an accent I'm calling really bad British but could be way off.

Did Sam Darnold relapse into seeing ghosts again? We finally got to see Jameis Winston play some football this year after every other backup imaginable saw some playing time.

I map out the only acceptable path to a truly entertaining SuperBowl (well it will be for me)

It's dumb, its chaotic, its football....and might be my funniest episode yet.

Prime time was boring, the Bills are stressing me out, and Joe Burrows injury update has me spiraling. I run through clutch-time QB rankings, crown a new "Come on the Back" winner, try to make sense of a weird NFL week. Lets talk football.

Football showed up this week like it pregamed too hard. The Bills beat the Chiefs and I'm not convinced that's a good thing, kickers suddenly think they're gods, and teams are out here wearing uniforms that should be illegal. Come on the Back of the Week included. Chaos everywhere.