Tara Beall-Gomes and Dr. Rob continue their conversation about next-level gaslighting, including red flag behaviors in therapy, role-playing dialogues that highlight gaslighting language, and the role that a therapist can play in finding closure after years of betrayal. Tara also offers encouragement to a partner that is working to regain their spouses trust, and resources for anyone who is unable to pay for extensive therapy.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:25] Now he’s gaslighting our therapist?

[3:48] Is gaslighting abusive?

[5:27] Role-play examples of gaslighting, projecting, and controlling.

[10:58] Shame and empathy with rigorous honesty.

[15:43] “I knew all along.” Now what?

[21:37] I can’t believe anything my spouse says.

[25:25] Identifying the core values that drive our reactions.

[32:55] The role of your therapist in finding closure.

[34:50] Red flags in therapy behavior.

[38:52] Next steps when an addict has support and you don’t.

[43:31] How can a partner ever trust again?

[46:15] Encouragement and free resources.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Tara Beall-Gomes

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “Gaslighting is relational and strategic, while lying is an isolated behavior.”
• “Closure is incredibly important in about to find peace, but it doesn’t have to mean agreement.”
• “You can’t derail your own trauma work and recovery when dealing with your partner.”
• “If you want to trust again, you have to trust yourself first.”
• “You are enough, and you can do this.”