In this episode, Susan explores what happens when our children are disappointed, upset, or frustrated — and why our instinct to fix, minimize, or rescue them from that feeling often does more harm than good. Using the example of a child upset about a not getting to wear a favorite shirt, she demonstrates what it sounds like to sit with a child's disappointment instead of steering them out of it, and why that "big fat period" of silence can be more powerful than any explanation.

• Why rushing to fix or minimize a child's disappointment can quietly signal, "I don't believe you can handle this."
• Why kids are built to survive disappointment — and how repeated small setbacks build real resilience.
• Why sitting with discomfort, rather than fixing it, is itself a powerful form of connection

Full transcript here

In this episode, Susan explores what happens after Lawyer or Dictator mode has taken over and you've lost your cool. She explains why the goal isn't to stay serene all the time, and why genuine repair, done well, teaches a child that relationships can survive rupture. Susan breaks down the steps of effective repair like, and why a quick "I'm sorry, but..." doesn't count.

• How rupture followed by real repair teaches a child that conflict doesn't mean the end of connection.
• Why it's okay if your child doesn't respond warmly to your apology.
• How naming your "parts" to your child can open the door to greater connection. Full transcript here

In this episode, Susan connects Internal Family Systems to three modes she's taught for years: Captain, Lawyer, and Dictator. Using a real dinnertime example, she shows how a child's simple request can pull a parent from calm boundary-setting into defending themselves, and eventually into threats, once an old protective part takes over.

• What Captain-mode language sounds like across homework, screens, bedtime, and chores.
• How arguing (Lawyer mode) and threatening (Dictator mode) both come from protective parts trying to shield you from old pain.
• How your child's simple "it's not fair" can be met without defending yourself or needing to win

Full transcript here

Eckhart Tolle's foreword to Parenting With Presence here.