Send us a text

In this powerful conversation, host Kayla sits down with licensed therapist and author Katie K. May to discuss her book You're On Fire, It's Fine: Effective Strategies for Parenting Teens with Self-Destructive Behaviors. Katie shares practical, compassionate tools for parents navigating the challenges of raising emotionally intense ("fire feeler") teens—especially those with high-risk or self-destructive behaviors.

Drawing from her personal experiences, her own parenting journey, and her expertise as a DBT-specialized therapist, Katie offers mindset shifts, de-escalation techniques, and relationship repair strategies that help parents regulate first, validate emotions, and build connection instead of conflict.

Whether your teen slams doors, struggles with overwhelming feelings, or you're grieving the shift from "baby" to independent young adult—this episode is filled with actionable insights to help you show up as the calm, steady presence your teen needs.

Key topics include:

• What "fire feelers" are and why common phrases like "just sleep on it" backfire
• The "notice and name" skill for emotional regulation
• Radical acceptance vs. resignation when parenting doesn't look like you imagined
• Breaking escalation cycles with the parental stress meter
• The Hierarchy of Connection for repairing damaged relationships
• Why validation comes before solutions (and how to stop "emotional helicopter parenting")

Grab a copy of You're On Fire, It's Fine and start implementing these strategies today.

Guest Bio

Katie K. May, LPC is a therapist, national speaker, and one of only a handful of Linehan Board Certified DBT clinicians. She specializes in supporting teens with depression, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and intense emotions. Katie is the owner and executive director of Creative Healing and the author of You're On Fire, It's Fine: Effective Strategies for Parenting Teens with Self-Destructive Behaviors. She lives in the Philadelphia area with her family.

Key Takeaways / Quotes

• "When you are someone who has these big and overwhelming feelings, you're a deep feeler, it often feels like you are on fire with your emotions." – Katie K. May
• "Validation comes before change."
• "It's never too late to repair the relationship."
• "Parents go first—we practice and model the skills we want to see in our children."
• "The good news is that there's a theory called the good enough parent... you only need to get this right 20% of the time."

Resources Mentioned

• Book: You're On Fire, It's Fine: Effective Strategies for Parenting Teens with Self-Destructive Behaviors by Katie K. May → Buy it online anywhere books are sold → Free chapter + more at: youreonfireitsfine.com

Connect with Katie

• Instagram: @katiekmay
• Instagram: @creative_healing
• TikTok: @teensupportcenter
• Facebook: @Creative Healing
• LinkedIn: Katie K. May

Connect with Kayla / the Show
Website: Momsbrainisacoffeestain.buzzsprout.com

• Social Media: @Momsbrainisacoffeestain (everywhere—Instagram, TikTok, Facebook)
• Email: Momsbrainisacoffeestain@outlook.com
• Subscribe for more conversations on parenting, personal growth, and real-life strategies
• Share your biggest takeaway in the comments or DM!

Thanks for listening—rooting for you and your family. You've got this.