Orgasms Aren’t “Reached,” Erections Aren’t “Achieved”
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Orgasms Aren’t “Reached,” Erections Aren’t “Achieved”
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Diana Richardson, who has studied human sexuality, intimacy, and couples’ relationships with sex for fifty years, returns to the program (her first appearance, “The Power of Slow Sex,” aired March 2022). She and Richard trace how sexual mores have shifted over the last century — more premarital sex, then a modern pullback into isolation, pornography, and falling fertility rates — and why Diana thinks the real problem isn’t how much sex people are having but the mechanical, goal-driven way we’ve been taught to have it. They get into the language attached to sex (“achieving” an orgasm, “premature” orgasm) and what it does to performance pressure, especially for men, and Diana answers Richard’s question about pleasure and connection without an erection.
Guest: Diana Richardson — researcher and teacher of conscious sexuality; author of eight books including Tantric Sex for Lovers (the Slow Sex / Tantric Sex for Men / Tantric Orgasm for Women collection, Destiny Books) and The Heart of Tantric Sex (John Hunt Publishing/O Books, 2003). With her partner Michael Richardson, she has run the week-long Making Love Retreat in Europe for over 30 years, with more than 15,000 couples attending. Site and online course: rekindle.love.
Chapters
00:00 — Cold open: sensitivity vs. sensation
00:39 — Welcome to Mind Body Health and Politics
01:30 — Welcome back: Diana Richardson
02:17 — Fifty years of change in the sexual field
06:33 — A hundred years of premarital sex, and the 60s revolution
07:48 — Pizza, porn, and the retreat from dating
08:29 — The epidemic of isolation, alienation, and loneliness
09:42 — It’s not the amount of sex, it’s the how
11:23 — Falling fertility rates
12:55 — Writing The Heart of Tantric Sex
14:06 — What “tantra” actually means
15:03 — Conventional sex vs. tantric sex
19:40 — Words that hurt: “achieving” an orgasm
23:38 — Eight books, and how the Making Love Retreat began
26:11 — Thirty years, fifteen thousand couples
28:06 — Bringing the retreat online
28:44 — Pleasure and connection without an erection
32:34 — What could bring young people back to each other
33:34 — Where to find Diana: rekindle.love
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