What happens when the parenting advice you were given simply doesn’t work for the child in front of you? As Julie’s daughter turns 13, she and Bridget look back on thirteen years of learning, unlearning, advocating, getting it wrong and slowly coming to understand what this particular autistic child needed. Through lived experience, they unpack the things that changed everything: recognising masking, understanding the difference between what a child can do and what they can actually sustain, looking beneath behaviour, questioning traditional ideas of independence, and realising that a child appearing to cope doesn’t always mean they are coping. It’s a conversation about autism, yes, but also about motherhood, nervous systems, repair, advocacy, capacity and the humility of allowing the child in front of you to change the way you thought you were supposed to parent.


In this episode, Bridget and Julie discuss:
- What thirteen years of parenting an autistic daughter has taught Julie that she couldn't have known at the beginning
- Why autistic girls can be missed, misunderstood or appear to be coping when there is much more happening underneath
- Getting curious about behaviour rather than immediately trying to correct it
- The difference between “she can do it” and “she can sustain it”
- Why the hours after school, socialising or a demanding experience can tell you more than what you witnessed during it
Masking, meltdowns and why home can be where a child finally stops holding everything together
- Rethinking independence and recognising that the right support can actually create greater autonomy
- The difference between building useful skills and teaching a child to make themselves more convenient for the world
- Learning to advocate for your child while helping them develop the language to advocate for themselves
- The grief and repair involved in looking back at what you did before you understood what you understand now
- Why both nervous systems matter when you're parenting a child with significant needs
- Questioning expert advice when it doesn't match the child living in front of you
- Why learning about autism matters, but learning your particular child matters even more


Want support on this journey? Come join us inside Honey Club - where we melt these blocks together, one breath, one practice, one deep remembering at a time. Find out more at julietenner.love or visit: https://julie-tenner.newzenler.com/courses/honeyclub


Reach out to Bridget for 1:1 coaching - bridgetwood.life

Tune in for part 2 where we explore the parts of parenting where we’re still firmly living in the 90s.

In this two-part episode, we’re talking about the things we’ve deliberately held onto from the childhood we grew up in: boredom, chores without payment, hearing “no” without a 45-minute negotiation, talking to actual adults, losing without receiving a trophy, and being expected to figure some things out for yourself.

This isn’t about glorifying the “we survived, so they’ll survive” style of parenting or ignoring what we now understand about children, nervous systems and individual needs. It’s about asking whether, in our beautiful attempt to be more responsive and conscious parents, we sometimes step in too much.

Because resilience isn’t created by removing every hard thing. Sometimes it’s built when we lovingly hand over responsibility, tolerate our child’s discomfort and give them the glorious experience of discovering: *I can do hard things.*

In this episode, we discuss:

* Why boredom is not a parenting emergency, and what children discover when we stop filling every empty space for them.
* Why being part of a family means contributing to the family, without needing money, rewards or applause every time.
* The difference between supporting our kids and rescuing them from every uncomfortable consequence.
* Why we’re intentionally technology-light, and why sometimes kids can simply look out the bloody window.
* Why conscious parenting doesn’t mean negotiating every boundary, and why *“because I said so”* occasionally still has a place.
* The importance of expecting our kids to interact with adults, speak for themselves and gradually learn how to navigate the world without us doing it for them.
* Why not everything needs a trophy, and why losing, disappointment and not being the best at something are important experiences.
* The conscious *handover*: knowing when we’ve taught and scaffolded enough, and it’s time to step aside and let our children figure it out.
* Why resilience, grit and confidence are built through actually experiencing hard things, not having every hard thing removed.
* Why we don’t need to organise, mediate or manage every part of our children’s social lives.
* The value of age-appropriate freedom, risk, independence and letting children experience themselves as capable.
* What we absolutely *don’t* want to bring back from 90s parenting, and how we can keep the good without recreating the emotional disconnection.
* The bigger question underneath it all: *are we raising children who feel supported by us, while also knowing they can function without us?*


Want support on this journey? Come join us inside Honey Club - where we melt these blocks together, one breath, one practice, one deep remembering at a time. Find out more at julietenner.love or visit: https://julie-tenner.newzenler.com/courses/honeyclub


Reach out to Bridget for 1:1 coaching - bridgetwood.life

We might be conscious parents, but there are some parts of parenting where we’re still firmly living in the 90s.

In this two-part episode, we’re talking about the things we’ve deliberately held onto from the childhood we grew up in: boredom, chores without payment, hearing “no” without a 45-minute negotiation, talking to actual adults, losing without receiving a trophy, and being expected to figure some things out for yourself.

This isn’t about glorifying the “we survived, so they’ll survive” style of parenting or ignoring what we now understand about children, nervous systems and individual needs. It’s about asking whether, in our beautiful attempt to be more responsive and conscious parents, we sometimes step in too much.

Because resilience isn’t created by removing every hard thing. Sometimes it’s built when we lovingly hand over responsibility, tolerate our child’s discomfort and give them the glorious experience of discovering: *I can do hard things.*

In this episode, we discuss:

* Why boredom is not a parenting emergency, and what children discover when we stop filling every empty space for them.
* Why being part of a family means contributing to the family, without needing money, rewards or applause every time.
* The difference between supporting our kids and rescuing them from every uncomfortable consequence.
* Why we’re intentionally technology-light, and why sometimes kids can simply look out the bloody window.
* Why conscious parenting doesn’t mean negotiating every boundary, and why *“because I said so”* occasionally still has a place.
* The importance of expecting our kids to interact with adults, speak for themselves and gradually learn how to navigate the world without us doing it for them.
* Why not everything needs a trophy, and why losing, disappointment and not being the best at something are important experiences.
* The conscious *handover*: knowing when we’ve taught and scaffolded enough, and it’s time to step aside and let our children figure it out.
* Why resilience, grit and confidence are built through actually experiencing hard things, not having every hard thing removed.
* Why we don’t need to organise, mediate or manage every part of our children’s social lives.
* The value of age-appropriate freedom, risk, independence and letting children experience themselves as capable.
* What we absolutely *don’t* want to bring back from 90s parenting, and how we can keep the good without recreating the emotional disconnection.
* The bigger question underneath it all: *are we raising children who feel supported by us, while also knowing they can function without us?*

Want support on this journey? Come join us inside Honey Club - where we melt these blocks together, one breath, one practice, one deep remembering at a time. Find out more at julietenner.love or visit: https://julie-tenner.newzenler.com/courses/honeyclub


Reach out to Bridget for 1:1 coaching - bridgetwood.life