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No need for Prince Charming

No need for Prince Charming

著者： Alisha Burns
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The podcast for all Australian women considering, creating or conquering life as a solo mum by choice (SMBC)Copyright 2024 All rights reserved.
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  • S5:E27 - Alisha & Alexandra - part 2

    S5:E27 - Alisha & Alexandra - part 2
    2026/08/31
    Four and a Half Years Later — Alisha's Update A note: this episode mentions the loss of Alisha's son Jeremy, who was stillborn 12 years ago today. She shares it with gratitude and without distress — but as always on this podcast, take care of yourself first. When I recorded my first ever episode of No Need for Prince Charming, Lexi was almost two. She is now six and a half. A lot has changed. I've been meaning to do this update for a while, and today felt like the right day — because it's the 12th anniversary of losing my son Jeremy, and I'm launching something I've been building towards for a very long time. More on that below. But first, let me catch you up. In early 2022, I was working full time in corporate loyalty, Lexi was in full-time daycare, Melbourne was still in lockdown, and I was running the podcast from stolen hours after she went to bed. I knew something was brewing — I just didn't know yet what it was going to be. What followed was four and a half years I would not trade for anything. Quitting a job I loved that had become somewhere I hated. Nearly four years sober. An ADHD diagnosis that explained a lot. Writing My Perfect Family. Building courses. Three Bali trips. A book club. A Facebook group that's now 3,500 members. The Bump Membership, which is still the thing I'm most proud of. Speaking at the Sydney Opera House. Sitting on the ART review committee. A second podcast. And learning, in a book club of all places, that one of my friends used the same donor as me — and that Lexi has a little sister. Today, on Jeremy's anniversary, I'm launching the SMS Membership. It's for established solo mums by choice — women who have their child, who are in the thick of it, who want more than a Facebook group can offer. A real community. Real faces. Monthly expert sessions on things we actually need to talk about — mortgages, perimenopause, body safety, employment rights, identity after motherhood. Plus fortnightly Zoom connection calls, state-based groups for real-life playdates, and specialist chats for neurosparkly mums, double donor families, mums without their own mum, and more. I also want to say this: I wasn't 100% sure when I did this. I wasn't even 50% sure. But I didn't want to look back and regret not trying. And it worked on the second round of IVF, and Alexandra is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me, and I am so, so glad. If you're on the fence — listen to this episode. And then take the next step. In this episode: Going back to work in 2022 — full-time corporate, lockdowns, my mum in hospital the week I returned, survival mode Starting the podcast and feeling something brewing underneath all of it Writing My Perfect Family and why I wanted to normalise the language of donor conception for other families' children, not just ours Fiji with Rhiannon — and realising I almost certainly have ADHD A bullying boss, a toxic work environment, and the day I resigned with my bonus and Lexi in tow Solo Mum Society was born, and so was the realisation that books don't pay your mortgage Going sober almost four years ago — and why having Lexi finally gave me a reason big enough to make it stick The ADHD diagnosis and medication in 2024 — and how running your own business with ADHD without corporate deadlines is a very specific kind of chaos The first Bali trip: 24 women, total strangers, everything in common The Facebook group growing to 3,500 members — and why I started it when the existing group didn't match the energy of the solo mums I knew The Considering, Expecting and Preparing courses — why I made them, what they cover, and what it feels like to watch nervous women become excited ones The Disney cruise — Cinderella holding our daughters' hands, and every dream I had coming true The book club conversation that revealed Lexi's donor-conceived sibling — before the baby was even born Lexi starting school: Father's Day, a classmate who said she was lying about not having a dad, family week, and navigating all of it with teachers who read My Perfect Family Both Alisha and Lexi being neurosparkly — what that means for their household, and how awareness changes everything The third Bali trip — all-inclusive, strangers becoming people you'd think had been friends for a decade Speaking at the Sydney Opera House about sperm (as you do) The ART review committee — being a voice for solo mums at a national level Motherhood Unmasked and Unfiltered — the second podcast with Rhiannon Jeremy's anniversary — 12 years today, and why she sees his passing as a gift that gave her Lexi and everything that followed The SMS Membership — what it is, what's in it, and why it's launching today Dating? Still no. Genuinely no. And why that's the first time in her life she hasn't felt like she needed someone Lexi at six and a half — kind, empathetic, fun, neurosparkly, and the only thing Alisha ever really wanted Key Takeaways The ...
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    1 時間 3 分
  • S5:E26 - Kate & Amelia

    S5:E26 - Kate & Amelia
    2026/08/24
    She never gave up! Some journeys are long. Kate's is one of the longest we've shared on this podcast — and one of the most quietly remarkable. Kate came to solo motherhood later than she planned, and for reasons that had nothing to do with not wanting a child. For much of her 30s she was managing Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, a chronic pain condition so severe she was on strong medication whose effects on a foetus were not yet known. She finished three masters degrees, achieved a third-degree black belt in karate, and built a career — all while navigating a condition she would not wish on anyone. By her late 30s, the pain was behind her. The medication was gone. And the relationship she'd thought might lead somewhere hadn't. So she made the decision that had always been there, waiting. What followed was three rounds of IUI, a move from Melbourne to Tasmania, a job change, eight or more IVF cycles across two clinics, multiple egg retrievals, a chemical pregnancy, and a miscarriage. Years of driving to Hobart and turning back halfway because the embryo hadn't developed. Years of two-week waits that ended badly. Years of holding it all quietly — telling almost no one — because that is how Kate processes things, and because she has Asperger's, and because the fear of what people think runs deep when you've spent your whole life reading the room slightly differently to everyone else. And then in December, a natural FET. Timed around Christmas. A feeling on the way home that she hadn't had before — this one has stuck. She was right. Amelia is 22 months old, about to turn two. She lives with Kate and Kate's parents in northern Tasmania, is looked after full time by her grandparents while Kate works, hates being swaddled, kicks her blankets off, loves doctors' waiting rooms, and is going to Japan in a couple of months. Kate wouldn't swap a single thing. In this episode: Three masters degrees, a third-degree black belt, and a decade managing Complex Regional Pain Syndrome — and how that shaped Kate's decision-making Being on the autism spectrum (Asperger's): how it affected relationships, the decision to pursue solo motherhood, and the parenting experience that followed Deciding to go straight to IUI rather than freeze eggs — and learning the hard way that the IUI donor pool in Victoria was extremely limited Three rounds of IUI: a chemical pregnancy in quarantine, a negative, and a third failure before moving to IVF Transferring to the Tasmanian clinic — a smaller, more personal experience, and a specialist who never stopped looking for solutions Eight or more IVF cycles across multiple years — multiple egg retrievals, fresh and frozen transfers, the physical and emotional toll, and driving halfway to Hobart only to be called back because the embryo hadn't developed The pre-Medicare-change reality for solo mums: needing to fail IUI multiple times before qualifying for IVF rebates A miscarriage and a chemical pregnancy before the natural FET that finally worked Keeping almost everything secret — and what happened when she finally told people A pregnancy she couldn't enjoy, spent waiting for something to go wrong Amelia arriving a day early in a Tasmanian storm — and spending the first week in hospital with no power at home Coming home to mum and a two-year-old who refused to be swaddled Going back to work at four and a half months — a nine-day fortnight, four days from home Her parents as full-time carers: what it's given Amelia, what it's given them What she'd do differently — and what she'd tell anyone on the spectrum who's been waiting for the right time Key Takeaways A health condition is not a reason to stop — it may be a reason to plan more carefully, get better advice earlier, and advocate for yourself at every step Being on the spectrum doesn't mean you can't read your child — you will find your own way of knowing, and it will be enough The fear of what other people will think is almost always bigger than the reality — Kate told far fewer people than she needed to and everyone she told was supportive The pre-2023 Medicare rules forced solo mums through unnecessary rounds of IUI before qualifying for IVF — if you're starting now, you don't have to do that Telling your employer, when you can trust them, makes the practical logistics of fertility treatment enormously more manageable Going back to work is not abandonment — for some brains, it's a lifeline that helps process and move forward The newborn phase is different when your brain works differently — lean into whatever your mum tells you, accept the help that comes, and know that you will find your own rhythm This episode is brought to you by City Fertility Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here. Pregnant or TTC solo? The Bump Membership is your virtual ...
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    1 時間 16 分
  • S5:E25 - Acupuncture and Fertility with Dr Michelle Smith

    S5:E25 - Acupuncture and Fertility with Dr Michelle Smith
    2026/08/17
    Acupuncture for IVF & Fertility — What Solo Mums Need to Know | Dr Michelle Smith, Ova Acupuncture Most fertility specialists will tell you to try acupuncture. Very few of them explain why. This week I'm joined by Dr Michelle Smith — acupuncturist, Chinese herbal medicine practitioner, and director of Ova Acupuncture in Brisbane. Michelle specialises in fertility and women's health, has two clinics in Brisbane, and sees women from all over Australia, including many solo mums by choice. She's also, as of this recording, 13 weeks pregnant via IVF — her first transfer — doing this solo, and very happy to talk about all of it. This episode is Acupuncture 101 for anyone who has been told it might help, has no idea how or why, and wants to actually understand the mechanism rather than just taking someone's word for it. We cover everything — the science and the philosophy, what's actually happening when a needle goes in and why that matters for egg quality and implantation, the ideal timeline for starting treatment before an IVF cycle, what to do if you have PCOS, what's different for known donor home insemination, how acupuncture supports perimenopause, and what to look for when finding a practitioner near you. Michelle is also refreshingly honest about what acupuncture can and can't do, why the pre- and post-transfer appointment is not as essential as the industry often suggests, and why her first priority with most new patients is to get them off half the supplements they're on. If you've been on the fence about whether to add acupuncture to your IVF cycle — this episode will help you make that decision. Ova Acupuncture — Brisbane, two clinics, telehealth available for interstate patients. Visit ovaacupuncture.au Note: Michelle can also provide referrals to trusted colleagues around Australia for those not in Brisbane. In this episode: How Michelle came to specialise in fertility — her own PCOS diagnosis, five years of study, and why she says she has the best job in the world Why fertility specialists telling you to "get acupuncture to relax" undersells what it's actually doing The sympathetic versus parasympathetic nervous system — and why the goal of acupuncture is to move you out of fight-or-flight How acupuncture supports IVF: blood flow to the ovaries, follicle quality, immune regulation and implantation The whole-systems approach — why the 12 weeks of weekly sessions before your cycle matters more than a pre- and post-transfer appointment What to do if you haven't had 12 weeks — the alternative protocol for stim phase The post-transfer window — what acupuncture is doing during the two-week wait, and when it's worth coming in What Michelle looks for when reviewing solo mums' IVF histories — and the basic things she sees missed because "we assumed everything was fine" Diet and lifestyle for fertility: Mediterranean diet, blood sugar regulation, eating enough, and why ice baths are off the table Acupuncture for known donor home insemination — optimising ovulation, luteal phase support, and vaginal microbiome testing PCOS and fertility: irregular ovulation, AMH, OHSS risk, and how Chinese medicine treats the individual rather than the protocol Perimenopause and why this generation of women is experiencing it differently — and how acupuncture helps How to navigate acupuncture with a needle phobia or as a neurodivergent person How to find a qualified fertility acupuncturist near you — what to look for and what to ask Michelle's IVF journey: first transfer, 13 weeks pregnant, doing it solo, and what she'd tell anyone just starting out Key Takeaways Acupuncture does more than help you relax — it shifts the nervous system, directs blood flow to reproductive organs, and supports immune regulation for implantation The whole-systems approach means regular weekly sessions in the lead-up to your cycle are more valuable than a single pre/post-transfer appointment Ideally start acupuncture 12 weeks before your IVF stim phase — or twice weekly during stim if you haven't had that lead time Solo mums often have basic things missed in their fertility workup because everyone assumes the only reason for IVF is the absence of a partner — advocate for full investigations Less is more with supplements — a good practitioner will help you stop rattling, not add more to the pile Mediterranean diet, regular meals, blood sugar stability, warmth, and adequate sleep are the foundations — before anything else Ice baths are not recommended when trying to conceive — in Chinese medicine, warmth supports blood flow and a fertile environment For known donor/home insemination: focus on ovulation regularity, luteal phase quality, and vaginal microbiome health When choosing a practitioner, check AHPRA registration and ask about post-graduate fertility training specifically You deserve to feel safe, listened to and advocated for in acupuncture — just as you do in ...
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    1 時間 7 分
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