Have you ever sent someone a meme, a song, a TikTok, or a photo of a sunrise with no explanation just because it made you think of them?

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., explores pebbling: small bids for emotional connection that are especially common among neurodivergent adults.

The term comes from penguin behavior: some penguin species offer small pebbles to potential mates as gestures of care. In humans, pebbling looks like sending a meme, an article, a random thought, or a video that says, “You’re on my mind,” without demanding a full conversation.

We explore:

• Why pebbling resonates so strongly with ADHD brains (associative thinking, dopamine, and object permanence challenges)
• How pebbling helps maintain relational presence when you don’t see people regularly
• The difference between healthy micro-connection and hidden demands for reassurance
• What happens when your pebbling style doesn’t match someone else’s
• How anxious attachment, rejection sensitivity, or demand avoidance can complicate small bids for connection

If you’ve ever wondered why sending a meme feels easier than saying “I miss you,” this episode will help you understand the nervous system strategy behind it and how to use it in a healthy way.

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About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields need when they receive their late diagnoses.