Few parenting beliefs are as emotionally loaded as this one:

You should never let your baby cry.

For many parents, this single idea creates exhaustion, anxiety, and deep guilt—along with the fear that one wrong decision could cause permanent harm. In this episode of Surviving Tiny Humans: 10-Minute Triage for Your Baby, Body, and Mind, Dr. Kailey Buller—physician, mom of two, and author of Surviving Tiny Humans—slows this myth down and triages it properly.

We unpack where this belief comes from, what the evidence actually says, and—most importantly—how to tell the difference between responsive waiting and neglect (because they are not the same).

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why crying is communication—not automatically harm

• The difference between protest, frustration, and true distress

• What research says about crying, cortisol, attachment, and brain development

• Why responding doesn’t always mean intervening immediately

• How pausing—when done safely—can actually help babies learn sleep skills

• Why your own nervous system, tolerance, and values matter too

We also talk honestly about the emotional side of this: listening to your baby cry can feel unbearable, even when something is safe. And no parenting approach should force you to choose between guilt and exhaustion.

Key takeaway:

Crying alone is not necessarily harmful.

But fear, shame, and chronic exhaustion absolutely are.

If this episode helped, download the free “7 Sleep Training Lies” guide for a simple, reassuring breakdown of this myth and the others. You can find it here:

https://www.vitalswithdrbuller.com/sleep7

And follow the show so you don’t miss the next triage -- where we switch gears for a minute to talk about that age old question: is breastmilk superior to formula?