How do you change a long-standing pattern in your marriage without just giving in to keep the peace? How do you stay true to yourself and stay connected, especially when conflict is high?

Last week, I shared why setting clear expectations often backfires and creates more resentment than resolution. This week, Brent joins me to bring that concept to life with a real, raw story from our own marriage.

We unpack a big fight over a red light, and how it became a hinge point for shifting out of old dynamics. You’ll hear what it looked like when expectations weren’t met, the frustration that followed, and how we moved toward something more honest, self-authored, and connected.

We talk about:

1. The difference between yielding to pressure vs. making aligned choices
2. Why emotional regulation (not anger or withdrawal) builds real trust
3. What it actually takes to interrupt long-standing patterns, without losing yourself

If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of pursuing, distancing, people-pleasing, or silent resentment, this conversation will show you a new way through.

🗓️ Want to learn how to disagree without disconnecting? Our April couples retreat in Bear Lake is your next step. More Details Here

What if your “clear expectations” are actually creating distance in your marriage?

In this episode, I unpack the subtle but powerful shift that happens when expressing a desire turns into demanding agreement, and how this dynamic often stems from deeper wounds, especially for survivors of abuse. You’ll hear how I navigated this in my own relationship with Brent, why healthy disagreement matters, and how to express what you want without losing connection.

If you’ve ever felt dismissed, hurt, or triggered when your partner doesn’t respond the way you hoped, this conversation will offer clarity, compassion, and a more honest path to intimacy.

🔗 Want to explore this work more deeply? Learn about our upcoming couples retreat in April. More Details Here

What happens when one partner carries sexual trauma into a marriage and the other feels guilty for wanting sex at all?

In this honest, deeply personal episode, Brent joins me to talk about what it was like being the higher desire partner when sex still felt unsafe for me. We share what helped, what didn't, and how important it was that we both stopped masking what we were experiencing in our sexual relationship.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between guilt, pressure, and desire, or if you're navigating sex after abuse in your own marriage, this conversation is for you.

💬 Interested in signing up for the next couples retreat? Find all the details HERE.

If you'd like to talk with Brent and I before deciding, schedule a discovery call HERE.

For years, I believed I was broken because I was the wife who wanted nothing to do with sex. In this episode, we explore what it really means to be the lower desire partner in a relationship... and why it doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you.

I talk about the dynamics of mismatched sexual desire and the emotional toll it can take on both partners in very different ways. I’ll also walk you through the difference between sexual desire and intimacy and why the distinction matters.

Whether you're the higher or lower desire partner, this conversation will help you stop pointing fingers (at yourself or your partner) and start reclaiming your personal agency.

🎟️ Curious about our upcoming couples retreat? Get more details HERE. Limited spots available.

In this episode, I talk about the dynamic that silently shapes and sometimes sabotages every marriage: the imbalance of responsibility. If you find yourself either taking the blame for everything or constantly defending your perspective, this pattern might be more familiar than you think (I’ve been on both sides).

You’ll learn how trauma can lead us to overcorrect in relationships, why courage and consideration need to coexist, and how to use self-confrontation to rebuild intimacy without losing yourself.

I share personal examples, including a story from my past abuse I’ve never told before, and walk you through the exact questions that help you stop owning what isn't yours or over-defending so you can move toward a healthier relationship.

P.S. If intimacy has felt difficult after trauma, even in a safe and loving relationship, I’m now offering a new online course called Reclaiming Your Sexuality After Abuse, paired with one-on-one coaching. If you’re curious whether it’s a good fit, you can schedule a free Discovery Call with me HERE.

You’ve been trying to figure out what’s really going on in your relationship. You’ve wondered if it’s abusive, or if the two of you are just stuck in old patterns and emotional immaturity.

In this episode, I break down the key differences between dysfunction and abuse by looking at patterns of power, fear, and emotional regulation. I also walk you through five common signs that may point to something deeper than conflict, including intensity, volatility, and control dynamics.

You’ll hear personal stories, practical reflection questions, and the turning point that helped me understand my own past relationship more clearly. If this question has been weighing on you, this episode will give you clarity and direction.

If emotional immaturity feels like the core issue and you’re ready to work on it, you can book a free discovery call using THIS LINK. If safety is a concern, I’ve included trusted, trauma-informed resources HERE.

Right before hitting record, we got into an argument. The kind where we both felt misunderstood, defensive, and like the other was the problem. But, unlike in the past, we were able to work through it. That process is exactly what we want to share with you today.

In this real-time breakdown, we share how control shows up in subtle ways in marriage, even when you’re both trying your best. We talk about the tension between autonomy and attachment, the “no, unless” trap that often hides in people-pleasing, and how we each self-confronted to reconnect.

You’ll hear:

• What triggered the argument and how it spiraled
• The exact moment we hit reset and how we did it
• Scripts to move from defensiveness to collaboration
• Why true repair often starts with looking for what truth there is in your partners perception of you

If you’ve ever felt like one of you has to lose for the other to win, this episode will offer a new way forward. One built on mutual respect, honesty, and yes, a little messiness.

✨ Want to go deeper? Join us at our next Couples Retreat — April 23–25 in Bear Lake, Utah. Click HERE for more details.