On this episode of Bad Dads Film Review, the team reviews Jonah Hex (2010) — DC’s supernatural western starring Josh Brolin as the scarred bounty hunter, John Malkovich as revenge-villain Quentin Turnbull, and Megan Fox as Lilah/Tallulah, depending on which bit of the film you believe.

In this episode

• Dan’s late pick and the argument over whether Jonah Hex counts as the midweek movie
• “Johan Hex” and the accidental Scandinavian spin-off nobody asked for
• The brutally rushed origin story: dead family, branded face, Native American resurrection smoke, and crow-adjacent powers
• Jonah Hex as a supernatural bounty hunter who can temporarily revive corpses for information
• The horse-mounted Gatling guns and the film’s steampunk Wild West weaponry
• Megan Fox’s immaculate Wild West prostitute character and the noble-prostitute trope
• Michael Fassbender’s bowler hat, neck tattoo, Irish accent, and career-survival appearance
• John Malkovich’s oddly flat Turnbull performance and his plan to attack America with glowing cannonball super-weapons
• The confusing resurrection sequence, crow-from-the-mouth imagery, and anticlimactic final showdown
• Comparisons with Ghost Rider, Cowboys & Aliens, Wild Wild West, Preacher, The Crow, The Dark Knight, and The Outlaw Josey Wales
• The film’s disastrous box office: around $47m reported production budget versus around $10.5m worldwide return, before marketing

Bad Dads consensus

• Runtime: mercifully short
• Cast: bizarrely stacked
• Plot coherence: extremely questionable
• Visual ideas: occasional flashes of something better
• Performances: mostly phoned in, with Brolin just about surviving it
• Best feature: it ends quickly
• Overall: not a recommend, though Dan resists calling it one of the worst ever and Cris may still watch it out of sheer curiosity

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