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Simon's secondhand iPhone and Lee's flirtation with a folding one get things going, but the episode turns on a last-minute invitation to Lisbon Fashion Week that Lee almost turned down over pizza. Saying yes, he points out, isn't a marriage, because you can always leave. That leads them to ask who actually gets to be that open: the socially anxious, parents on pick-up duty, anyone whose evening isn't already their own.

Mentioned

• iPhone 13 Pro – the secondhand phone the episode is recorded on; the discovery that its speakers sit at the top opens the conversation
• The Luddites – 19th-century textile workers who smashed machinery; prompted by the question of when an early adopter turns Luddite, followed by a brief and uncertain detour into cotton presses and weaving
• Apple Watch and iPad – recalled as examples of early adoption, including an iPad snatched by a passing cyclist
• iPhone X – the last model bought new on release, before a switch to secondhand phones over the cost of keeping up and the environmental impact of rare earth materials
• Kodak – shorthand for a point-and-shoot approach to cameras: interested in images, not in how they're made
• iPhone Duo – a phone that unfolds into a screen for watching television on trains and planes; being considered, but only after a couple of months of reviews
• Leaning Tower of Pisa – punchline to "leaning is not the same as falling"
• ChatGPT virtual try-on – feature for trying on clothes digitally; set as homework for the coming week
• Google wardrobe – Google's equivalent clothes try-on service; reportedly looks like a face pasted onto a model's body
• Lisbon Fashion Week – the event a last-minute invitation led to, which became an example of being open to saying yes
• Aperol spritz – being drunk at the pizzeria when the invitation arrived (transcript reads "April spritz")
• Ammo – a local Lisbon pizzeria run by Luciano from Naples, serving 24-hour sourdough pizza
• Rick Owens – American fashion designer known for dark, avant-garde clothing; a pair of his shorts, bought in a charity shop, was worn to the fashion event
• Michèle Lamy – octogenarian fashion icon and Rick Owens's wife and collaborator
• Six degrees of separation – used to describe following the interesting people who turn up in a well-connected friend's wake
• Shayo by Nnamdi – a new Nigerian slow-fashion label just launched in Lisbon, working with young Nigerian designers; met outside the event, leading to some accidental networking
• Waiter press – kettlebell exercise, held overhead like a waiter's tray, recommended for the newly delivered 16 kg kettlebell

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Lee reveals that giving a colleague a lift home exposed a further, unsuspected layer of "unfiltered Lee", which prompts Simon to suggest a set of age-rated cardboard signs to hang around his neck. Simon finds real pleasure in treating a knotty work situation as a giant puzzle made of human pieces. He also reports that this week's raid on the office chocolate cupboard turned up only waxy, orange-foiled Halloween balls. Then Simon brings in a line from Annie Duke about crediting ourselves for good luck and blaming bad luck, which leads them to effort, privilege, and what large language models might be doing to a young person's sense of agency.

Mentioned

• Microsoft Teams – the platform for a work meeting earlier in the week, which opened with a podcast-style countdown out of pure habit
• Cher – "If I Could Turn Back Time" quoted after realising 1930 is nearly a century ago, not 60 or 70 years
• 1930s BBC nativity play broadcast – a technically ambitious live broadcast from near the tip of Cornwall, now being re-performed as an immersive piece in a church by a local theatre company with research centre support; the on-air bulb blew mid-broadcast and the cast carried on regardless
• Forced Entertainment – Sheffield-based experimental theatre company; the idea of wearing cardboard signs around the neck is called "very early Forced Entertainment"
• Falmouth University – cited as the third biggest employer in Cornwall, in a discussion of universities being too important locally to fail (transcribed as "foundless")
• Marlene Dietrich – conjured as the image of the old-time nightclub where "vamping" (filling time on stage) might come from
• Coventry University – domain for an imagined "quality control" email address to complain about the downgrade in stolen office chocolates
• Annie Duke, How to Decide – book on decision-making; its line about blaming bad luck for bad outcomes while crediting ourselves for good ones prompts a conversation about effort, luck and agency at different stages of life
• Large language models – discussed as a "seismic" wildcard for students' sense of agency, compared with older forms of privilege

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Lee arrives squinting at his phone, his many pairs of reading glasses having all washed up in one place, out of reach. After a detour through Reacher and its spin-off Neagley, Lee brings in an Alabama senator warning that airline pilots may secretly be furries, and Simon questions the maths. From there it's a stolen mint chocolate that turns out to be Simon's Proustian madeleine, a private tapestry tour at the V&A, a defence of experts, and an imagined Akram Khan statue that spins at the press of a button.

Mentioned

• Reacher (TV series) – the latest season is being watched; a friend texted to say they cried at the end
• Neagley (TV series) – Reacher spin-off, watched over the weekend and rated highly; the character was always a fascinating one in the books too
• Maria Sten – actor who plays Neagley in both shows; her name is only half-remembered in the episode
• Alan Ritchson – plays Reacher; noticeably smaller in season one than in season four
• Tommy Tuberville – Republican senator from Alabama; a press-conference clip in which he warns that aviation workers, pilots included, may be furries with a "deranged fetish"
• Furries – community of people who dress as cartoon animals, with a sexual and a non-sexual "stripe"
• Adidas – brand invoked in a joke about the two "stripes" of furries
• Mickey Mouse and Pluto – examples of the kind of cartoon animal furries dress as
• Pup play – mentioned as distinct from being a furry
• Dungeons & Dragons – floated as a niche hobby probably more common than being a furry
• YouTube – its new ads that shrink the video, even during a yoga session
• Marcel Proust – the madeleine, as the model for a mint chocolate that triggers memories of after-dinner mints at grandparents'
• The Meaning of Life (Monty Python) – the "wafer-thin" mint, alluded to and then dropped
• Elizabeth Shaw – after-dinner mint brand with an "interesting range"
• Bendicks Bittermints – the "bitter mint" style of after-dinner mint
• V&A – two days of meetings with access-all-areas tours of V&A East Storehouse, V&A East and South Kensington; Young V&A also mentioned
• David Bowie Centre, V&A East Storehouse – a room visited on the tour
• Boris Johnson and David Cameron – each suggested as the source of the anti-experts line (the "had enough of experts" remark is usually credited to Michael Gove)
• Dominic Cummings – "drove to Durham"; his name can't be recalled in the episode
• Wayne McGregor – choreographer, cited as the rare choreographer with money because of his work for ABBA
• ABBA – ABBA Voyage, via Wayne McGregor
• Akram Khan – choreographer with a large installation at V&A East, which prompts the joke about an "Angry Akram" statue
• Michael Jackson statue on the Thames – the giant statue floated down the river to promote HIStory in 1995, used for comparison

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Simon opens with a simple question for Lee: what, exactly, is the attraction of right-wing extremism? Lee comes at it sideways, through Britpop. He admits the off-stage rudeness of Blur and Oasis in the late 90s put him off their music entirely (Tori Amos, at least, seemed nice), and wonders whether the far right runs on a capacity for forgiveness he simply lacks. From there it's Question Time, another Reform MP on the panel, and a view from Sassari on nostalgia as the engine of it all.

Mentioned

• Igor x Moreno – choreographic duo whose show was seen the night before recording; described as almost the only choreographers Simon goes to see
• Andrew Tate – cited as where a "gateway" figure can eventually lead
• Britpop – 1990s UK music scene, framed as two factions with a bridge between them
• Blur – the art-school side of Britpop; rude off-stage behaviour made their music impossible to enjoy at the time
• Oasis – the working-class side of Britpop; same objection, same result
• Pulp – the band that bridged the two camps, "the one ring that binds them both"
• The Lord of the Rings – source of the "one ring" riff on Pulp
• VHS vs Betamax – format-war analogy for the Blur/Oasis rivalry
• Tori Amos – the alternative listening of the time: angry and spiky, but critiquing misogyny; a clip of "Winter" is played
• Israel – example of a topic on which a podcaster's view gets set aside while the rest is still valued
• "Be curious, not judgmental" – maxim recalled from the show's early days, and from Ted Lasso
• Question Time (BBC) – televised political debate show touring the UK; the new season again features a Reform MP on the panel
• Any Questions? (BBC Radio 4) – the radio show Question Time's format derives from
• Reform UK – far-right party; discussed in terms of platforming, normalisation and nostalgia
• Andy Burnham – referred to as the new Prime Minister; the "Burnham bounce" is credited with Reform's drop in support
• Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland – devolution, and what it might mean to be left living in England
• Sassari – city in Sardinia; a vantage point on immigration, visible change and resistance to it in Italy

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Simon is packing for a work trip to Sardinia via Venice that may or may not still be above water, while Lee is nursing a resurrected three-week-old voicemail from his own iPad and marvelling at a £2000 folding phone. A friend's line from her work as a couples therapist – point the finger at yourself a little more – tips them into their oldest shared material: Simon's mother's temper, recorded in her own diaries, against the careful, unbreakable Danish teak table that survived Lee's parents' house intact.

Mentioned

• Venice – mentioned regarding an upcoming work trip, with a wry aside about whether it's still above water
• Sardinia – ferry destination for the same trip
• Apple Duo – newly launched foldable Apple phone; its price becomes a running joke about "awesome power" gadgets
• Austin Powers – referenced via the pinky-to-mouth gesture from the Dr. Evil "one million dollars" bit
• Anthropic / Claude – AI company and assistant, referenced in a quick pun ("Miss Anthropic's Claude")
• BBC – broadcaster of an interview in which an AI researcher is asked to put a percentage on the chance AI causes human extinction
• Terminator – cited as the obvious cultural reference point that should have made the AI-extinction answer unsurprising
• Doctor Una / "Couples Therapy" (HBO) – a couples therapist with an HBO show of the same format, clipped for TikTok and Instagram; her line to "point that finger at yourself" becomes the episode's central thread
• Mick Jagger – invoked humorously as the wrong kind of finger-pointing

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Simon has been sent his late mother's diaries and the courtship letters she exchanged with his father, and can't decide whether reading them is an act of care or an invasion. Lee counters with his own father's diary, thirty years running and started by a Disney Store Aladdin Diary, a purely functional record with no reflection in it whatsoever. Between a Lisbon vegan march and the looming stamp duty on Simon's new flat, the conversation ends where these things always end: an imaginary OnlyFans account, funded by house-moving labour.

Mentioned

• Aladdin Diary (Disney Store) – the Christmas gift that started an annual diary-giving tradition lasting three decades
• HMRC (His Majesty's Revenue and Customs) – the UK tax authority, discussed over stamp duty owed on (what is not really) a second home
• OnlyFans – floated, half-seriously, as a way to cover that stamp duty bill; also the platform an elderly former soap actress is said to use
• Patreon – considered and rejected in favour of OnlyFans
• Farrah Fawcett – actress and former Charlie's Angels star, recalled while trying to place the unnamed soap star's identity
• Charlie's Angels – TV series; referenced for Farrah Fawcett's short-lived role in it
• Ryan O'Neal – actor; Farrah Fawcett's longtime partner and Tatum O'Neal's father
• Tatum O'Neal – actress; discussed alongside her father and her relationship with John McEnroe
• John McEnroe – tennis player; mentioned as a former partner of Tatum O'Neal's, with whom she had children
• Paper Moon (1973) – film in which Ryan O'Neal and Tatum O'Neal starred together
• Tom Holland – actor; discussed via a video ranking celebrity physiques by how "natural" they appear, focused on whether his Spider-Man build is achieved without steroids

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Simon and Lee catch up after a stretch apart: Simon turns 58 in Scotland, complete with a sleeper train that quietly failed to leave London and a lakeside sauna ritual, and comes home to an accepted offer on a new flat close enough to see from his window. Lee, holding down the Lisbon end of things, hosts long-time listeners Josh and Craig and finds a speakeasy behind a knitting shop. Two confessional dreams surface along the way – Simon stealing chocolate from an unimpressed houseguest, and Lee shouting at Bob over a missing cheese sandwich mid-flight.

Mentioned

• Josh and Craig – long-time listeners of the podcast who came to Lisbon for a brief visit
• Dahlander [?] – a Lisbon friend jokingly called "the mayor of Lisbon" for knowing everyone; name as spoken, spelling uncertain
• A speakeasy-style club near Rato/Campo de Ourique, Lisbon [?] – entered through a false-front knitting shop, down two flights to a small live-music venue; the venue's own name was unclear in the transcript
• Harry Styles – invoked in a riff about impeccably tailored shorts and personal style
• Ariana Grande – named as the kind of star who, unlike Harry Styles, would not turn up to a low-key Lisbon club
• Diana Ross / Barbra Streisand [?] – one of the two supposedly chartered the private jet in Lee's dream, which ended in a missed cheese sandwich and a furious wake-up; unclear which name was actually said
• Cadbury – chocolate brand discussed via a childhood memory of a nearby factory in Dunedin, New Zealand, and a perceived decline in quality
• The Caledonian Sleeper – the overnight London–Scotland train that was quietly towed back to the station and re-departed without waking sleeping passengers
• Löyly [?] – the Finnish word for the steam released when water hits the sauna stones, given per the speaker's own uncertain pronunciation

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Simon returns from holiday with a question rather than the usual content: should there be a limit on turning your own trauma into comedy, prompted by Amanda Knox's new Edinburgh Fringe show about her wrongful imprisonment for Meredith Kercher's murder. Lee takes it somewhere more personal, tracing his low tolerance for comedy that punches down through a brutal old episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks and an admission that even David Sedaris can be too cruel for him. It ends, unexpectedly, on two flat viewings: an estate agent he clicked with instantly through jokes, and one who won by actually listening.

Mentioned

• Amanda Knox – wrongly convicted, later exonerated, of Meredith Kercher's murder in Perugia; now has a comedy show at the Edinburgh Fringe about the experience, prompting the episode's central question about the ethics of turning trauma into material
• Meredith Kercher – the murdered student at the centre of the Knox case; her family's objection to being invoked in Knox's show is discussed
• Edinburgh Fringe – festival where Knox's show is currently running
• Never Mind the Buzzcocks (BBC2) – music quiz show; a stretch of episodes hosted by a young Simon Amstell recalled as brutally punching down at guests
• Simon Amstell – Buzzcocks host; remembered for harsh treatment of Amy Winehouse and for reading a Celebrity Big Brother contestant's memoir aloud on air to embarrass her boyfriend
• Amy Winehouse – an episode featuring her on Buzzcocks recalled as especially shocking
• Celebrity Big Brother – recalled for a series in which an ordinary person was planted in the house disguised as a minor celebrity
• Chantelle Houghton – won that series posing as a celebrity, later mocked on Buzzcocks over lines from her memoir; name uncertain from the transcript
• Preston – musician and Chantelle's boyfriend at the time, remembered walking off during the on-air mockery
• The Daily Mail – newspaper behind the mocked photoshoot line from Chantelle's memoir
• David Sedaris – essayist; his writing about his family, including his sister's suicide, discussed as sometimes tipping from painful into cruel

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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