Welcome to our series “This Looks Like a Good Place for a Stickup”! Now, we’ve never met before, have we? Of course not, ha ha! I have in my hand an ordinary deck of playing cards, an electric chainsaw, and a plucked, uncooked goose. I want you to choose a card, any card . . . good, good, don’t show it to me, just memorize it. Now put it here into the goose’s anal cavity. No, no it’s fine, no need for that look. Terrific! How about a hand for our volunteer folks?! Aren’t they great? Now, over here we have a perfectly live ordinary pony. You’re going to use that chainsaw to saw this pony in half while I hang from my nostrils over . . . excuse me? The card and the goose? Oh, no that has nothing to do with this trick; that was just . . . for me. Now . . . where are you going? You’re worried about the trick? Don’t worry! I’m perfectly safe! The pony . . . .? I’m perfectly safe! Wait, come back . . . dang it, I still don’t see how any of this is supposed to help me rob a bank but today’s movie “Now You See Me” should give you a better idea, despite its complete lack of pony mutilation. How do they do it? It’s magic! F you!

Poll question: who is your favorite cinematic rogue? Not necessary a criminal, but a scoundrel, a scruffy-looking nerf-herder, if you will? Leave a comment or call our hotline at 617-398-7266 and leave a roguish voicemail!

Listen up, my shrewd and cunning listeners! We’ve called you here today because we’re planning a big job and we need your particular set of skills. That’s right, we’ve got a major score lined up: a brand new series called “This Looks Like a Good Place for a Stickup”, a series about heist movies and nothing but heist movies! Movies with cunning plans and brilliant operators where nothing can go wrong . . . can it? Our first target is a movie starring Sir Alec Guinness (if you search your memories, you may remember that he was in a couple of little, forgotten science fiction movies in the 70’s and 80’s. Pretty obscure; you probably haven’t heard of them) as Henry “Dutch” Holland, a man with a plan to steal a million pounds worth of gold from a British bank. Now, we need some very specialized operatives for this. Who among you is a qualified pastry chef? Great, you’re in. Now, we need an expert in low-impact glass blowing. Perfect, you’re in! We also need someone who knows everything there is to know about 16th Century Latvian folktales. Beautiful, you’re in! And of course, and this is essential, we need someone who knows how to easily dispose of the body of an unwanted pony. Good, good . . . this is going to go off without a hitch. Lend an ear and see if it does!

Poll question: who is your favorite cinematic criminal? Leave a comment or skulk over to our hotline at 617-398-7266 and leave a fiendish voicemail.

Heheheheheh! So you see we have come to the end of our series “Cuz I Wanna (and You’re Gonna Like It)”! But you may think you have won because we are now at the end but you must listen to me now and hear what I say because your kung fu is not strong enough to make it to the end of this series! No, it isn’t! Hahahahahaha, that is very amusing to me! You may think of kung fu movies as being like the works of the Shaw Brothers but their kung fu is weak and not strong but ours is stronger! Hahahaha! You better pay attention! Yeah! Listen to my inexplicable Australian accent as I explain your inevitable defeat! I say again, your kung fu is weak! The kung fu of Stephen Chow is much stronger! Hah! You know that the truth is inevitable and is your destiny! Or perhaps the destiny of your Master! Heh heh heh, your kung fu is so weak that you cannot possibly understand my brilliantly translated words ohhh? The Max and Mike School will conquer you! You are foolish to think that is not so! Hahaha! Come, listen to the strength of our words and see if you can face “Kung Fu Hustle” with the very best of us! Hahahaha, the idea makes me laugh very much! Ha!

Poll question: what is the best example of a cinematic mix of violence and comedy, and should they mix at all? Leave us a comment or call our pratfall hotline and leave a brutally hilarious voicemail at 617-398-7266