Nobody knows what's going on in the world, and this is the one show honest about the fact that we're making it up as we go.

Fifty thousand fighting-aged men invade a Spanish enclave, take a dump, and turn around and go home — and it remains genuinely unclear who got pranked. Rob offers some creative solutions for Iran, including outsourcing the whole invasion in exchange for half the oil. Trump calls off the biggest military action since World War II for roughly the eleventh time and says the Iranians are secretly begging, no matter what they say in public. The pool vandalism case gets closed for lack of evidence. Todd Blanche decides the weaponization of the Justice Department wasn't so bad once a promotion is on the table. Mamdani hands the podium to someone else rather than say the word "ID" out loud. Lindsey Graham gets filmed taking assignments from Netanyahu on the ICC prosecutor and immediately suggests Speaker Johnson put his name on it instead. Japan gets a bailout that we're not calling a bailout. A naked man survives a jump off the Brooklyn Bridge and gets arrested for it, which is no way to treat a hero. Democratic donors close the checkbook. Massie, MTG, Tucker, and Joe Kent take a photo together and Rob pitches the Turtle Party. And Deborah Birx goes on MSNBC to walk the fence on Fauci while the host begs her to say he's a saint.

Extended episode and travel gripes at RobBernsteinComedy.com.

Porch Tour dates at PorchTour.com.