What if your nervous system was quietly shaping everything — from your relationships to your resilience — and no one ever taught you how to understand it?

In this episode of A Thought I Kept, Claire Fitzsimmons speaks with Beth Derry, resilience coach and founder of Lovely Messy Humans, about the deep and often overlooked influence our nervous systems have on how we cope, connect, and show up in the world.

They explore the relationship between emotional coping, overwhelm, and shutdown — and how self-harm among young people can be a misunderstood bid for regulation and relief, not attention or rebellion. Beth shares her own story of navigating emotional dysregulation, what she wishes adults knew about teen self-harm, and why nervous system literacy isn’t just helpful — it’s essential.

From the science of emotional responses to everyday tools for regulation, this episode offers a gentle, grounded invitation to rethink what it means to support ourselves — and those we love — with more curiosity and less fear.

Show Notes

04:59 The Power of the Nervous System

13:31 Understanding Emotions and Their Biological Purpose

29:27 Introduction to Lovely, Messy Humans

30:54 The Importance of Nervous System Education

36:51 Addressing Self-Harm and Emotional Regulation

39:42 Understanding the Science Behind Self-Harm

48:52 Practical Steps for Nervous System Regulation

Beth Derry is the founder of Lovely Messy Humans. After careers in zoology, sustainability, and communication, Beth now works as a resilience coach, speaker, and Havening Technique practitioner, helping people better understand their emotional worlds and find grounded, embodied ways of coping.

Website is www.lovelymessyhumans.com

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bethderry/

References + Resources Mentioned

• Tad Hargrave – Marketing For Hippes
• Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
• Happy Summer Camp

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About Claire Fitzsimmons

Claire is the host of A Thought I Kept, a wellbeing writer and the co-founder of If Lost Start Here, a company on a mission to get people to a better place, sometimes literally. As an ICF Associate Certified Coach and a certified Emotions Coach Practitioner, Claire helps women navigate the everyday lost moments of their lives and all their feelings, from anxiety to grief, overwhelm to joy. Claire writes on Substack at MoreGoodDays. For personal coaching, reach out to Claire here.

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