What's obvious to us may not be so obvious to others. In this episode, we continue our conversation about the disparities between how we see ourselves and how others see us. The gaps in those perceptions often create misunderstandings and unmet needs and has an impact on our lives in ways that surprise even us. We get into some of the nuances of the disabilities that others can see and the ones they can't--like chronic pain. Along the way, we take some funny detours on time management and productivity.

Chapters

00:00 Exploring Identity and Disability

02:40 The Impact of Unmet Needs

05:39 Navigating Social Perceptions

08:38 The Complexity of Accessibility

11:32 The Role of Time in Disability

14:30 Embracing Slower Living

17:17 Invisible Disabilities and Their Challenges

20:21 The Intersection of Disability and Work

23:27 Coping with Chronic Pain

26:14 The Influence of the Pandemic on Work Culture

29:20 Rethinking Time and Productivity

32:07 The Future of Accessibility

35:00 Reflections on Identity and Experience

This episode takes a candid look at disability as an endurance sport—where identity, resilience, and community reshape what care and compassion mean.

We explore the emotional and physical endurance of living with a disability, framing daily life as a constant act of adaptation. Our conversation delves into how identity evolves through loss and uncertainty—especially within medical systems that often lack answers. We reflect on how we cope with fundemental changes to our sense of self and how resilience is forged from adversity.

Needing to use a cane or wheelchair can throw a person into an identity crisis because of the stigma they carry. Accepting the use of an aid can be a difficult transition and one that many people resist or reject even when an aid is important for their safety and independence.

This conversation delves into how our sense of self is impacted by our needs and how we can reframe our thinking on aids to get the most out of the technology available to us.

In this conversation, Laura shares her journey of living with spina bifida. She discusses the challenges she faced growing up with disability and the innovative therapies her family sought out to help her thrive. She shares her experiences trying to fit in at school, the isolation she felt, and how she finally gave up her mission to make other people comfortable with her limitations. Laura also reflects on her discovery of the Mind Body Solutions (MBS) program and how yoga transformed her relationship with her body, leading to a deeper understanding of self-acceptance and peace.

"It's that they make lemonade out of lemons. Instead of looking at what's hard about it, they look at how to transform your disability into something beautiful, something intimate, something fun, something other than what it is...(because it's not any of those things)... but it can be experienced differently if you have the right person with you."

In part 2 of our "Pity & Perception" conversation we talk through the delicate dynamics of friendships and what it means to us to feel fully seen, considered, and included.

- Even friends get it wrong - Navigating the stories of those closest to us

- The Complexity of Emotional Reactions

- Feeling Included vs. Excluded

- The Grief of Limitations

- The Importance of Community

- Finding Joy in Difficult Situations

- Creating Intimacy Through Shared Experiences

"Don't we always go through life with our story just ready to slap it on whoever's in front of us? And then just like that we're up and running with that story." Angelique and Samantha dive a deeper into a brief encounter with a stranger that left Anqelique stung by the disconnect between how she sees herself and how he reacted to her disability that we discussed in the episode "Pity & Perspective-Pt 1"

We decided we are pro-cussing because sometimes it's better out than in and it can put that rage to good use.

Ever have someone look at you in a way that just deflates you and breaks your heart? What story have they overlaid on your experience and is it something you need to carry? In this episode, we talk about the different ways strangers relate to us--from sad looks to inappropriate comments to outrageous questions. And we talk a bit about both how those things land and how we have learned to cope with and move beyond them.

- Experiencing Pity: Personal Stories

- The Complexity of Reactions

- Insecurities and Emotional Responses

- The Misunderstanding Happiness

- Setting Boundaries and Personal Growth

- The Nature of Vulnerability

- Navigating Inappropriate Questions

- Perils & Prerogative of Rejecting Assistance

- Hypervigilance and Safety