Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at chip@chipdodd.com. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at bryan@vothcenter.com.

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. Dr. Dodd shares content two to three times a week. To subscribe, use the link above or go to chipdodd.com.

What is a friend?

A friend is someone who cuts your sorrows in half and doubles your joy.

A friend is someone whose sorrows you cut in half and you double their joy.

If a person has three people in their life right now who fit this description, that person is very blessed.

You cannot have too many genuine friends.

For friendship to develop, it requires:

time

truth-telling

trust

experiences

You cannot develop friendships with a lot of people because of the limitations of time and the requirements of daily life.

You can be a pastor, politician, or public figure and have thousands of acquaintances, experiences, and do a lot of good, and still not have that confidant, the person in the night you can reach out to.

You can have lots of genuine friends over a lifetime, and if you live long enough, you will have many people you carry in your heart who are friends. You remember them, and can recall life together if you ever meet again.

You have friends if you are available in heart to have them.

Ultimately, a friend is a person who desires your good. If you desire others’ good, you are available to have a lot of friends over a lifetime.

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at chip@chipdodd.com. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at bryan@vothcenter.com.

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. Dr. Dodd shares content two to three times a week. To subscribe, use the link above or go to chipdodd.com.

Relationship with others

Neuroscience research points out very clearly that we are connection seeking creatures. We are born to “look for who is looking for us.”

In the Voice of the Heart, which came out years before neuroscience research validated Dr Dodd’s work, he writes that we are created by God to seek life to the full, but we can only find that fulfillment in relationship with ourselves (head and heart connected), with other, and with God.

Relational fulfillment is a dictate of our emotional and spiritual genetics. This genetic makeup is so powerful that we will seek a sense of connection that relationship brings in legitimate forms or in illegitimate ways as other episodes have explained, like the recent Addiction Series, Episodes 97-110.

So much of life is about the benefits of relational fulfillment that even the word share means that you receive from others initially, so that you can offer the gifts you have to others—whether that be the flowers you have grown; the experiences you have had; or the love you have received.

We cannot give what we do not have; therefore, we must be open to all that relational fulfillment can offer us, so that we have much to offer others.

Research has shown that gratitude for receiving allows a person to increase their sense of gratitude by giving.

There exists a “child-like” willingness that a person must have to live fully, because relational fulfillment with another person requires that we be:

• Truthful enough to be trustworthy.
• Teachable enough to learn how to care well.
• Humble enough to be open to being relational.
• Brave enough to face our needs.

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at chip@chipdodd.com. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at bryan@vothcenter.com.

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. Dr. Dodd shares content two to three times a week. To subscribe, use the link above or go to chipdodd.com.

Relationship with yourself

These questions can help you become response-able for yourself:

• What kind of person am I?
• Who knows me?
• Who do I love, and how vulnerably do I love?
• Am I emotionally and spiritually genuine with God and a few others?
• Do I use my mind to articulate the truths of my own heart?
• Can I seek forgiveness, offer mercy, and forgive?

Christianity is truly a religion of growth. Jesus said, “The thief come only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10, NIV)

Christianity is a religion of living fully. This is unlike other religions in the world:

• Jesus refers to Himself as a “Good Shepherd” in John 10.
• Jesus will lead us and grow us into becoming shepherds, ourselves.
• Through Jesus we give our hands, heads, and hearts to a “mission” that is worth whatever is required to live fully.
• Through the Spirit of God that indwells Christians, we can live fully through loving fully and leading well. This life leaves plenty of fruit behind.

Relationship with one’s self refers to the connection between the “heart” and “head.”

Sadly, many of us are taught to defend ourselves rather than become ourselves.

We use our thinking and reactions to hide the truth of our feelings, needs, desire, longings, and hope, rather than use the development of our minds to identify, explore, and express “truth in the inner parts . . . wisdom in the inmost place,” (Psalm 51:6, NIV)

We are created to live fully, but to do so, we must feed the roots, so that the fruits can grow in abundance.

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at chip@chipdodd.com. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at bryan@vothcenter.com.

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. Dr. Dodd shares content two to three times a week. To subscribe, use the link above or go to chipdodd.com.

Recover is not a pill > Recovery is a path.

Recovery is not a quick fix > Recovery is a lifestyle, lived one day at a time.

Recovery allows us to live with a “new set of glasses.”

People in recovery no longer see life through the “tinted glasses” that denial gives them, but they begin to live in clear reality.

A person no longer sees life through the “foggy” glasses of denial, but a person begins to live in reality.

Addiction

• enslaves a person emotionally and spiritually
• then begins to harm relational-social life
• finally, it harms the biological-physiological life

Recovery FROM addiction is freedom from what enslaves a person, so they can get recovery OF who they were meant to be.

Recovery OF one’s self is a return to the emotional and spiritual human being who finds fulfillment through relationship with others and God.

The Process of Recovery

Recovery requires that a person step into a journey they have never been on before. They need a map and guideposts along the path to know if they are going in the “best” direction.

The roadmap for recovery is found in the 12-Steps, a recovery map with guideposts that a person follows with guidance from others. The roadmap can break the “spell” of the continuous circle of addiction repetition.

Addiction repetition is like being on a train in your own personal boxcar. It doesn’t matter how one thinks, what one promises, or fantasizes, the train is going where the tracks are laid. Addiction owns the tracks and the train.

Recovery requires that a person jump off a moving train. Recovery places a person on their own ship and they sail onto the ocean, where there are no tracks, except for desire, dependence and destination. The recovering person is guided by the compass of the 12-Steps and the north star of relationships, especially God.

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at chip@chipdodd.com. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at bryan@vothcenter.com.

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. Dr. Dodd shares content two to three times a week. To subscribe, use the link above or go to chipdodd.com.

Recover is not a pill > Recovery is a path.

Recovery is not a quick fix > Recovery is a lifestyle, lived one day at a time.

Recovery allows us to live with a “new set of glasses.”

People in recovery no longer see life through the “tinted glasses” that denial gives them, but they begin to live in clear reality.

A person no longer sees life through the “foggy” glasses of denial, but a person begins to live in reality.

While recovery has thousands upon thousands of personal benefits, the personal benefits do not mean that you’re the loved ones will change along with you, join you, or even be willing to participate with you. This reality is called resistance to change.

Resistant to change can be in the “main person” who has a clear and primary addiction, or it can be in the “co-addict,” or the one who has enabled, adjusted to, joined in, or “put up with” the primary addiction.

The condition of a “co-addict” is addressed in the Codependency Episodes, 32-44.

Resistance to Change

Resistance to change is not rooted in a negative motivation. The soil out of which it grows is about not being willing to be controlled by “forces” that may not want my good. For example, in World War II, the French RESISTANCE fought the German forces from behind enemy lines to keep them from taking over or controlling the French homeland.

However, resistance that is an unwillingness to grow or change will yield “negative” consequences. This negative fruit can come from roots of terror, toxic shame, fear of loss, and secrecy. Sadly, this resistance can lead to control addiction.

This control addiction can be in the “main” person or the “co-addict” as mentioned above.

The way to assess resistance as positive or negative starts with grasping the meaning of admission and surrender.

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at chip@chipdodd.com. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at bryan@vothcenter.com.

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. Dr. Dodd shares content two to three times a week. To subscribe, use the link above or go to chipdodd.com.

Recover is not a pill > Recovery is a path.

Recovery is not a quick fix > Recovery is a lifestyle, lived one day at a time.

Recovery allows us to live with a “new set of glasses.”

People in recovery no longer see life through the “tinted glasses” that denial gives them, but they begin to live in clear reality.

A person no longer sees life through the “foggy” glasses of denial, but a person begins to live in reality.

While recovery has thousands upon thousands of personal benefits, the personal benefits do not mean that you’re the loved ones will change along with you, join you, or even be willing to participate with you. This reality is called resistance to change.

Resistant to change can be in the “main person” who has a clear and primary addiction, or it can be in the “co-addict,” or the one who has enabled, adjusted to, joined in, or “put up with” the primary addiction.

The condition of a “co-addict” is addressed in the Codependency Episodes, 32-44.

The question becomes, “How do I do relationship with someone who doesn’t want to join me in this new way of living?”

Recovery From addiction processes and recovery OF who I am created to be is a genuine form of authentic life, without running from one’s own heart.

Resistance to change, then, is a heart problem.

Addiction in and of itself is rooted in denial, which requires that the status quo becomes the primary focus in relational life, not the capacity to adjust to change.

Acceptance of and willingness to change requires the ability to “deny” denial.

• Addiction is founded in denial.
• Change is founded on “denying” denial.

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at chip@chipdodd.com. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at bryan@vothcenter.com.

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. Dr. Dodd shares content two to three times a week. To subscribe, use the link above or go to chipdodd.com.

Recover is not a pill > Recovery is a path.

Recovery is not a quick fix > Recovery is a lifestyle, lived one day at a time.

Recovery allows us to live with a “new set of glasses.”

People in recovery no longer see life through the “tinted glasses” that denial gives them, but they begin to live in clear reality.

This clear reality contains a new hope that is the soil out of which the ability to live will fully grow.

Recovery provides so much more than abstinence FROM what was harmful. It allows a person to get recovery OF.

Not only does admission of powerlessness (The First Step, episode #106) open the door to recovery, it “admits” a person onto the path of healing and liberation. Admission is an entrance.

• The healing is in the “connection rupture” from childhood development that blocks the empowerment of dependency resilience.
• The liberation is in reclaiming the Six Freedoms (Free Resource at chipdodd.com).

There are three steps to begin recovery. The first three steps, however, are just the beginning.

1. We admit we were powerless over __________ (addiction) and that our lives have become unmanageable.
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. We make a decision to turn our lives and will over to the care of God as we understand Him.

These three steps are from the 12-Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, and yet they apply to all addiction and recovery. The primary addiction of all people addicted is control addiction.

Basically, a person who lives in recovery recommits to these three steps every morning for the rest of his/her life.

Here are the first three steps in a nutshell:

1. I can’t
2. He can
3. I will let Him.

Click here to continue reading episode highlights.

Click here to read the episode highlights.

The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at chip@chipdodd.com. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at bryan@vothcenter.com.

Be sure to subscribe to Dr Chip Dodd’s new Substack. He will be sharing two to three articles a week. The topics focus on healthy relationship, personal growth, and leadership. Dr. Dodd shares content two to three times a week. To subscribe, use the link above or go to chipdodd.com.

FREE RESOURCE: Six Freedoms from Birth

The Power of Admission:

When we admit we have a problem that we cannot stop repeating and this problem creates negative consequences, we have begun the first movement of recovery.

Admission is often mistakenly related to losing, or what is associated with being a “loser.”

Addiction is fueled by toxic shame. This toxic shame “ranks” everything being about winners and losers, a scoreboard, comparison, ranking, excluding/including and worth.

Our toxic shame mistakenly identifies our admission as being a failure or worthless.

Most recovering people who recount their stories will agree that admission of a problem is very often experienced as relief.

People who are addicted are often tired of being enslaved by the addiction.

Recovery ultimately moves a person away from “ranking” themselves over and over again to recognizing a new way of seeing success.

Success is having a passion plus pursuit that will contend with obstacles and challenges. There is no ranking or even competition. The only focus is keeping the passion fueled.

Success, then, comes in many packages, from planting flowers every spring and “feeding” bees and butterflies, to becoming a neurosurgeon who discovers a new method for brain surgery.

The power of admitting addiction is the first step towards returning to and then becoming “whole” again.

Admission moves a person into their “Six Freedoms from Birth” journey.

Recovery from the sickness of addiction moves us toward recovery of who we were created to become.

Click here to continue reading the episode highlights.