In this episode, I talk about the moment everything shifted — when managing it wasn’t enough anymore and I had to decide whether I was willing to change my body to get my life back.

From booking the surgery to counting down the days, this was the season of dread. The fear of the unknown. The panic of Googling images I couldn’t unsee. The internal battle of “What if this works?” and “What if it doesn’t?”

I share what it felt like to commit to a cleft lift procedure, knowing it would permanently alter my body — and how I wrestled with fear, control, doubt, and hope all at the same time.

If you’re in that space of deciding… postponing… spiraling… or quietly researching at 2 a.m., this episode is for you. You are not dramatic for being scared. You’re human. And you’re not alone in it.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. Everything shared here is based on my personal experience and is not medical advice.

In this episode, I’m talking about “the in-between” — the space where there’s no active cyst, no visible infection, and no reason for anyone to worry… but you’re still not okay.

Physically, everything looks normal again. You’re back at school. Back at work. Back to your social life. You can sit, stand, walk, and exercise. On the outside, it seems like you’ve moved on.

But mentally? You’re living on edge.

This episode dives into the constant body scanning, the hyper-awareness of every little twinge or bit of pressure, and the exhausting fear that it’s all about to happen again. I talk about not trusting your own body, feeling dramatic when nothing is technically wrong, avoiding things you love out of fear, and the emotional isolation that comes when people say, “But you’re fine now, right?”

If you’ve ever felt crazy for being afraid when nothing is actively happening… this episode is for you.

You are not dramatic. You are not weak. You are responding to trauma.

And you are not alone.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. Everything shared here is based on my personal experience and is not medical advice.

In this episode, I talk about flare-ups — what they actually feel like, how they start, and why they’re so much more than “just pain.” I share my personal experiences with flare-ups, from the physical symptoms to the mental spiral that comes with waiting, uncertainty, and fear. This episode dives into the reality of living through repeated flare-ups, emergency room visits, lancing and drainage, and the emotional toll of never knowing when the next one is coming. If you’ve lived through a flare-up, are currently in one, or are terrified of the possibility, this episode is for you.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. Everything shared here is based on my personal experience and is not medical advice.