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Syd humbles herself by DMing a childhood friend turned CEO for a job. We spiral about what long-term unemployment does to a person—social norms? gone. dignity? optional. We compare LinkedIn to Hotel California because you can log out any time you like, but you can never actually leave. Unfortunately, we (the podcast and our kids resell business) are also not hiring—but not because we’re exclusive, just because we’re broke. There’s a brief, virtual kumbaya moment, and then we plug another product that doesn’t sponsor us but probably should (hint: it’s green, fizzy, and may lead to Elvis-inspired munchies). Thanks for stopping by <3<3<3

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This week on LinkedOut: we’re writing back to our rejection emails (because if the bots can be unhinged, so can we). Billionaires are officially old news—make way for the trillionaires. 🙄 Also, LinkedIn’s been reading your DMs to train their AI (toggle your settings, babes).

We spiral about whether flip phones are the new frontier of peace, brainstorm ways to help Brit stop doom scrolling, and try (unsuccessfully) to keep Syd awake. Basically: one of us is zen, one of us is fried, and both of us are trying to stay woke in the dumbest possible timeline.

xoxo, your favorite unemployed philosophers 💅

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This week, Syd gets worked by a recruiter but never actually gets work. Brit gets rejected from Trader Joe’s (rude!) and somehow still becomes the embroidery queen. We spiral about why we’re all building our own AI prison, psychoanalyze billionaires for sport, and lightly roast capitalism—all while reminding you that in-person connections still reign supreme. Somebody please send a hero—or at least a paycheck.

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