A father’s reflection on parental regret, missed connections, and what it means to forget the life you didn’t live. Raw spoken word + visual art. No hidden meanings. No inspiration. Just what it’s like

👉More poetry: “Live Autistic Truth” playlist (link below)

👉 Full collection: “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head” (link below)

👉 Transcript: Link in comments

Content note: Parental regret. Family estrangement. Unfiltered autistic experience.

This piece explores the strange way autism and ADHD collapse time. How life-defining choices can feel as forgettable as a radio contest you meant to call. How parental regret sits next to everyday absurdity. How half flying and half falling can be the same motion.

Not here to inspire you. Here to give you an experience of a life.

CHAPTERS

0:00 - Like some angel with a dislocated shoulder0:15 - Half flying, half falling from the day I was born 0:45 - To a silent piano score... a horror picture show1:05 - Don’t be a dick. Real talk.1:25 - That call-in contest you just knew you could win1:35 - Hell, like this song.

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MORE FROM THIS COLLECTION

👉 Full chapbook: “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head: songs of autistic innocence...and experience”

Amazon: hhttps://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_812RrZO_QWB-WHVZRBe-hjr37UNPxdb

👉 “Live Autistic Truth” playlist (13 spoken word pieces - poetry + performance + visual art):https://www.amazon.com/every-clock-handgun-pointed-head-ebook/dp/B0FNLHC6SY

👉 Read the transcript + subscribe for weekly pieces:

ABOUT THIS WORK

I’m a 72-year-old autistic poet, performer, and multimedia artist. Diagnosed late in life. Making work that gives you the actual experience of being autistic. Not explanations, not inspiration narratives. Raw, unfiltered, unapologetic.

This piece explores three intertwining themes: parental regret, the autistic experience of time, and what it means to be seen.

Plain language. No academic jargon. No hidden meanings. If you’re autistic, maybe you’ll see yourself. If you’re not, maybe you’ll understand us a little better.

Born to raise hell. Autistic style.

GIFT IDEA

Looking for a meaningful gift for someone autistic in your life? This chapbook says “I see you” not “I want to fix you.” Available on Amazon + as Substack gift subscription.

#SpokenWord #Poetry #ActuallyAutistic #AutismAcceptance #VisualPoetry #MultimediaArt #PerformancePoetry #NeurodivergentArt #AutisticVoices #ContemporaryPoetry