Tiffani Thiessen is back to suffer some severe trauma, so huge content warning as this Lifetime movie focuses on her character's rape and the tragic aftermath when nobody in her town supports her.

We discuss the movie's awful decision to prioritize the rape-apologizing/bully classmate played by Brian Austin Green over Thiessen, the worst soundtrack we've ever heard (none of the clips were edited... that's really the music they decided to play), and if there was anything positive we could get out of it. Another misfire from Lifetime in the message department but it was certainly entertaining?

Music:

• They All Become Blueberries - Tiger Gang
• Mysterious Grove - Cast of Characters

You aren't even prepared for the amount of cows in this film. It focuses on beauty queen/cow lover Courtney Thorne-Smith's deadly obsession with the blandest man alive, played by Kyle Secor. It's like a bad version of Drop Dead Gorgeous but it had its charms, although they are tainted by its misrepresentation of a true story (but what else should we expect from Lifetime at this point?)

Music:

• They All Become Blueberries - Tiger Gang
• Mysterious Grove - Cast of Characters

Kellie Martin is back, playing a high schooler who might have been kidnapped as a child so she must figure out the truth about her birth family and come to terms with her complicated emotions!

It's a message film without a good message but features a strangely stacked cast including Jill Clayburgh, Richard Masur, and Edward Herrmann. Take a shot every time someone says 'milk' or 'carton' in this movie and you will probably die! We talk about the many plot holes and what would have made the story more interesting, the lame boyfriend named Reeve(??), and why this movie is offensive to redheads.

Music:

• They All Become Blueberries - Tiger Gang
• Mysterious Grove - Cast of Characters

If you've ever wanted to hear Tony Danza do a Southern accent, then this is the movie for you! He and Pamela Reed play parents to a teenage girl who is found brutally murdered but since nobody seems to know who the killer is, they team up with detective Ving Rhames.

We found this to be a surprisingly well-made movie that handled its true crime story rather respectfully. Topics include why we think Danza's performance is over-hated, comparisons between the movie and the real life story, and Lifetime's handling of a hot-at-the-time mental illness.

Music:

• They All Become Blueberries - Tiger Gang
• Mysterious Grove - Cast of Characters

We discuss yet another domestic violence-based movie that is (not suprisingly) pretty tasteless and quite unmemorable. Donna Mills plays a woman who must escape her abusive husband (Corbin Bernsen) but he always finds a way to track her down.

Topics include a mobile phone in a jail cell, why we'll never eat potato salad again, the reasons why Robin Givens' character deserved better, the Witness Protection Program, and more.

Music:

• They All Become Blueberries - Tiger Gang
• Mysterious Grove - Cast of Characters

We had differing opinions on this true crime story of a high schooler (Kellie Martin) so desperate for popularity and acceptance that she murders the head mean girl (Tori Spelling).

Our discussion includes comparisons between this movie and Heathers in their reflections on social pressures in school leading to dangerous consequences, why the narrative being from the perspective of the killer is problematic, and the seemingly obvious statement that you should not cut cucumbers in your car.

Music:

• They All Become Blueberries - Tiger Gang
• Mysterious Grove - Cast of Characters

We were really looking forward to Lifetime's feminist take on Arthurian legend but it unfortunately did not work for us like we wanted, especially with a cast comprised of Sheryl Lee, Noah Wyle, Donald Pleasence, and Brid Brennan.

Since this movie is not widely available, there are no audio clips in this episode :(

Music:

• They All Become Blueberries - Tiger Gang
• Mysterious Grove - Cast of Characters

Yet another trigger warning for this episode, about a woman (Jaclyn Smith) who quickly falls for a steroid-happy cop (Brad Johnson) but things escalate out of control and she must take matters into her own hands.

We discuss the insane acting choices in this movie and why that helped make it more entertaining, why we're truly getting frustrated with Lifetime's '90s "true story/true crime" genre (and why it's especially problematic with this story), and the PSA-level depictions of steroid use.

Music:

• They All Become Blueberries - Tiger Gang
• Mysterious Grove - Cast of Characters