Letting Go of the Need for Parental Approval
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Even as grown adults, many of us still long to hear our parents say, “I’m proud of you.” And when that approval has always felt conditional, or never came at all, caregiving can reopen wounds we thought we had outgrown.
In this episode of Love, Limits and Aging Parents, Esther and Laurie explore why the need for parental approval runs so deep, how caregiving can intensify old feelings of rejection and invisibility, and the emotional cost of constantly trying to earn recognition from a parent who may never be able to give it.
They also discuss the grief beneath that longing, the difference between caring from love and caring from desperation, and practical ways to begin separating your worth from your parent’s response.
Letting go of the need for approval does not mean giving up on your parent or loving them less. It means loosening your grip on an outcome you cannot control, and learning to recognize your own effort, value, and humanity, whether your parent acknowledges them or not.