What happens when you love your partner—but you don’t feel like yourself anymore?
In this candid and eye-opening episode of Let’s Get Curious with Replenishing Soul, Lori and Dorothy sit down with Dr. Carli Blau, licensed psychotherapist, certified sex therapist, and founder of Boutique Psychotherapy, to talk about something so many women experience but rarely talk about: losing yourself in motherhood, relationships, and the demands of everyday life.
Dr. Carli challenges the idea that we need to “get back” to the woman we used to be. Instead, she asks a better question: Who do you want to become now? Together, they explore confidence, body image, motherhood, chronic stress, and why women can find themselves putting their own needs, desires, and relationships at the bottom of an endless to-do list. If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and thought, Where did I go?, this conversation will hit home.
Then they get real about sex, intimacy, and desire after having kids. Why does affection sometimes feel like a dangerous game when a hug or kiss seems to automatically lead to sex? How do you maintain your sexual boundaries without rejecting your partner? What happens when you want intimacy but simply don’t have the energy or desire for sex? Dr. Carli shares her perspective on rebuilding connection, communicating needs, and taking responsibility for creating space for intimacy—without guilt, pressure, or obligatory sex.
They also unpack the connection between chronic stress, the nervous system, and sexual desire, especially for women navigating the additional demands of parenting neurodivergent children, caregiving, chronic illness, careers, and family life. Dr. Carli shares practical and surprisingly simple ways to reconnect with your body, confidence, senses, and sexuality—and yes, they talk about how to “wake her up” again.
Most importantly, this conversation is about connection, communication, accountability, and giving yourself permission to want more. Dr. Carli reminds us that our partners aren’t mind readers, obligatory sex isn’t the answer, and reconnecting with ourselves has to come before we can truly reconnect with someone else. If you’ve ever thought, “I love my partner, but I just don’t feel like myself anymore,” this episode will leave you laughing, thinking, and maybe asking yourself some very good—and very curious—questions.
Show Notes: 📚 Dr. Carli’s Recommended Reading
(affiliate links through Replenishing Soul)
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships — David Schnarch
A deeper look at intimacy, sexuality, emotional connection, and the ways couples can work through the challenges that get in the way of a passionate relationship. Dr. Carli describes this as a brilliant—and admittedly dense—book that she highly recommends.
Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know — Meg Meeker, M.D.
Although written specifically for fathers raising daughters, Dr. Carli recommends this book for its insights into child psychology, parenting, connection, and understanding what children may really be communicating through their behavior.
The Men on My Couch — Brandy Engler, Ph.D., with David Rensin
A fascinating look inside a sex therapist’s work with men and the desires, fears, relationships, and struggles they bring into therapy. Dr. Carli recommends it as a way for women to develop greater empathy and understanding for the men in their lives—and ultimately create more connection.
He, She, and We — Robert A. Johnson
A series of three short books exploring relationships, love, sexuality, and the psychological dynamics between men and women through the lens of Jungian psychology and classical mythology. Dr. Carli describes these as especially interesting for creative minds and anyone curious about the deeper stories and psychology behind relationships.
Disclaimer:
The information shared on this podcast is for informational purposes only and is based on the opinions and experience of Lori, Dorothy and their guests. The content should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or a treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast.
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