What do you do when you’re the newest leader… and everyone you’re leading is older than you?

In this episode of Leading Ain’t Easy, we get real about what it feels like to lead without seniority, including the anxiety, the imposter thoughts, the pressure to prove yourself, and the temptation to overplay authority just to feel “legit.”

Ryan shares what it was like being the youngest in the Marine Corps and then again in the workplace, including an early-career mistake that created an instant credibility problem. Erny breaks down what it means to be “new to power,” why “because I said so” backfires, and how humility and ownership are often the fastest path to real respect.

If you’re the youngest manager in the room right now, this one’s for you.

Key takeaways:

• How to earn respect without demanding it
• Why proving yourself through posturing kills credibility
• The role of listening, consistency, and authenticity
• How to introduce change without triggering resistance
• Why “I was wrong” is one of the hardest (and most powerful) sentences in leadership

"Leading Ain’t Easy, but you don’t have to do it alone."

Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley.

• Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose.
• Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development.

Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.

If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

Being the "new guy" is hard. Being the new leader is harder.

In this episode, Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley sit down with special guest, Matt Quinn, to talk about what it really takes to earn trust when you walk into a new job with zero social capital; especially when the people around you have been doing the work longer than you’ve been alive.

They cover what to do (and more importantly, what NOT to do) in your first stretch, how to listen without getting played, why “past practice” can be a trap, and the surprisingly powerful leadership habit Matt tells every new manager: clean the bathroom.

In this episode:

• Why leaders should listen first before changing anything
• How to avoid walking into a job and “moving pieces” you don’t understand
• The difference between proving yourself and performing for approval
• Why the best trust-builder is often: “I don’t know, can you teach me?”
• “Past practice” vs best practice (and why that distinction matters)
• The leadership lesson that sticks: clean the bathroom (AKA: do the job nobody wants)

"Leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone."

This episode does contain some explicit language

Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley.

• Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose.
• Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development.

Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.

If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

Setting boundaries with your boss is about doing what matters without burning yourself out. Ryan and Erny break down how to set boundaries respectfully, stay consistent, and protect your time without damaging trust or credibility.

In this episode of Leading Ain’t Easy, we talk about one of the most common leadership traps: being so responsive and available that you accidentally teach people your time doesn’t matter.

We unpack:

• How to set boundaries without sounding lazy or “bare minimum”
• Why consistency matters (and why moving your boundary teaches people it isn’t real)
• The difference between your boundary being the problem vs your environment being the problem
• Tools that help: scheduled send, clear framing (“something else has to give”), and simple expectation-setting
• The hidden issue for high performers: getting punished with more work
• What happens when boundaries collide with real deadlines (and why you need backup systems)

Listener question: What’s one boundary you know you need, but haven’t set yet?

“Leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone.”

Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley.

• Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose.
• Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development.

Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.

If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

Managing up is one of the most important leadership skills and one of the least taught.

In this episode of Leading Ain’t Easy, Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley talk about what it really looks like to lead when you don’t have authority over the people who influence your success: your boss, senior leaders, and cross-functional departments that control the data, budget, timelines, and decisions you’re expected to execute.

If you’ve ever been told “figure it out” without support… if you’ve been burned by a surprise that climbed the chain… or if you’ve struggled to communicate your vision clearly under pressure... then this episode is for you.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why leadership hates surprises (and how to avoid blindsiding your boss)
• How to tailor your communication to how your boss receives information
• How to challenge leadership without being seen as “difficult”
• Why documentation matters (and how to protect yourself with clarity)
• The mindset shift: clarity beats competence

Question for listeners:
Where do you struggle most with managing up; clarity, timing, politics, or trust?

Key takeaways

• Don’t let your boss get blindsided; give heads up early.
• Communicate to be understood, not just heard.
• Lead with the solution, then support with context.
• Use data to paint a clear picture fast.
• Document agreements and decisions (protects everyone).

Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley.

• Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose.
• Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development.

Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.

If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

Most leaders are coaching whether they realize it or not. The question is whether they’re doing it intentionally… or accidentally.

In this episode of Leading Ain’t Easy, Ryan and Erny are joined by Alicia Sanders, a Director of Supply Chain Management in hospital logistics, to break down coaching as a practical leadership skill; especially in high-pressure environments where deadlines don’t stop so “development” can happen.

We talk about the difference between managing vs coaching, why coaching creates real capability (not just compliance), and the hard reality leaders face when someone refuses accountability, including when coaching ends and performance management begins.

If you’re tired of doing the job for your team, this episode is your reminder: coaching is slower in the moment… but faster over time.

What we cover

• Managing vs coaching: directing tasks vs developing thinking
• Why coaching isn’t one-size-fits-all
• Coaching through strengths (and why EQ matters)
• Mentorship vs coaching, and when leaders must do both
• Daily huddles/check-ins as a simple, repeatable coaching practice
• The “cut your losses” question: accountability, engagement, and reality
• PDCA (Plan–Do–Check–Act) as a coaching framework
• The coaching pitfall: focusing only on the squeaky wheel and burning out high performers

Key takeaway

Coaching doesn't mean being “nice” or “helpful.” It’ means being effective and creating clarity, building capability, and holding standards without rescuing people.

Connect with us

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCLoVJP2UfHuJzOyNx4fHpg
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/reframerise/ or https://www.instagram.com/buspro_network/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/leading-ain-t-easy-podcast/

Call to action

If this episode hit home, drop a comment or message us:
What’s the hardest part of coaching people in your environment?

"Leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone."

Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley.

• Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose.
• Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development.

Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.

If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

If you’re stepping into leadership for the first time (or thinking about it) this episode is your warning label and your playbook.

Ryan and Erny break down what they wish they knew before they ever had direct reports: why leadership is more about people than technical skill, why your motivation matters more than your title, how to handle accountability for things you didn’t personally do, and what happens when you get promoted over your friends.

We also talk about the stuff nobody puts in the leadership books:

• The invisible mental load
• The emotional whiplash of “good days and bad days”
• Taking feedback when it comes in an ugly package
• The difference between “buy-in” and manipulation
• Why moving too fast as a new leader can backfire

If leadership has felt heavier than you expected, this one’s for you.

Leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone.

Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley.

• Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose.
• Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development.

Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.

If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

Middle management is a grind: high responsibility, limited authority, and pressure from every direction.

In this episode, we break down the invisible weight middle managers carry, like being the translator, mediator, protector, and problem-solver while taking heat for things you didn’t even control. We talk burnout, boundaries, empathy, and how to implement decisions you don’t fully agree with without abandoning your integrity.

If you’re in the middle and exhausted, this one will feel familiar; and it’ll give you language (and tools) for what you’ve been carrying.

Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley.

• Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose.
• Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development.

Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.

If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

Knowing your worth is easy to say but can be hard to live.

In this episode of Leading Ain’t Easy, Ryan and Erny unpack what it really means to understand your value as a leader; beyond titles, money, or years of service. From imposter syndrome and loyalty traps to quitting without a backup plan, they explore how self-worth quietly erodes when effort isn’t recognized and support disappears at the top.

This is an honest conversation about:

• When loyalty turns into self-sacrifice
• Why “prove yourself first” can cost you years of progress
• The difference between confidence, entitlement, and arrogance
• How leaders can objectively evaluate their worth using feedback, results, and integrity
• Why settling eventually leads to burnout (even when you don’t see it coming)

If you’ve ever stayed too long, taken less than you deserved, or waited for permission to be valued… this episode is for you.

Episode Chapters / Timestamps

00:50 — Intro: Know Your Worth (not titles or money)
01:33 — Erny’s story: stuck in a broken system + glass ceiling
02:10 — When effort isn’t valued at the top
04:54 — “They were chanting my name”
06:55 — The “donuts” moment: realizing support isn’t coming
08:51 — Walking away without another job lined up
10:22 — Worth vs perception: when others define your value
12:10 — Ryan: undervaluing yourself and the loyalty trap
14:59 — “You’re not the only idiot”: taking less pay to prove yourself
18:21 — Guilt, loyalty, and why companies won’t match it
19:54 — Negotiating up front vs earning your place
21:00 — A brutal interview failure and learning to sell yourself
24:18 — Turning failure into a long-term strength
25:29 — Advocating for yourself while staying team-oriented
28:13 — The hidden cost of settling
29:22 — Overvaluing yourself: arrogance vs entitlement
30:33 — Confidence vs arrogance (where it crosses the line)
32:23 — Slowing down and leading with data
34:30 — Measuring worth: metrics + intangibles
40:29 — How to actually gauge self-worth
41:00 — Ryan’s reflection framework
44:43 — Erny’s feedback-driven approach
49:21 — Key takeaway: Worth is earned through integrity
49:42 — Standing up for yourself without burning bridges
50:46 — Listener reflection question
51:16 — Closing

Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley.

• Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose.
• Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development.

Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.

If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.