What's the big deal about celibate partnerships?!

Pieter Valk wrote an article in 2023 with a significant critique on celibate partnerships, but in 2026 he made significant revisions with an expanded imagination for the possibility and goodness that these kinds of relationships can play for Christians who are looking to live chaste lives within relationships of belonging and mutual care.

If you are new to the conversation, here is a brief description: celibate partnerships are long-term committed relationships between two people (typically of the same sex) who regard each other as their primary life partner, yet, unlike marriage, their relationship is not open to sexual activity.

The validity and shape of these relationships have been a prominent conversation and debate within the Side B community, so we’re grateful for the opportunity to read Pieter Valk’s thoughts and offer some of our own. We’d love to hear what you think after you give a listen! Here’s a few questions to stir your thinking:

Do you think conservative churches can embrace the possibility of celibate partnerships based on Pieter’s accommodation argument? or would they be better suited to develop an expanded imagination for friendship and spiritual siblinghood?

How do you think different forms of partnerships compete or complement investments into serving community or other facets of pursuing God?

What are the practical needs that people have, regardless of whether they are celibate or not, that need to be seriously considered?

References:

A thoughtful article by our friend Pieter Valk: https://equipyourcommunity.org/celibate-partnerships/

Time Stamps:

00:00 Kinship Lab #4 - Celibate Partnerships

01:19 Revoice Buzz

02:38 Why This Episode

07:08 Defining Celibate Partnership

10:29 Valk’s Argument Overview

15:43 Tapestry of Kinship

19:32 Strengths of the Article

24:17 Core Critiques

33:18 Romance and Vocation Boundaries

36:49 Biblical Examples and Categories

42:33 (Mis)Using Love Bible Verses and Inspiration for Partnership

46:35 Not Marriage Lite

55:00 Hot Take on Growth

01:00:28 Why Marriage Is Unique

01:05:23 Explaining Celibate Partnerships Publicly

01:10:36 Distinctions, Research, and Pastoral Anxiety

01:16:16 Constructive Feedback Wishlist