Episode 5: Keep Your Cool When the Heat Is On — De-escalation Moves in the Moment

Conversations can escalate quickly. A concern becomes frustration. Frustration becomes conflict. And in those moments, what you do next can either calm the situation or make it worse.

In this episode, we focus on practical strategies school leaders can use in the moment to de-escalate tension, stay grounded, and keep communication moving forward.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why staying calm matters when emotions run high
• How curiosity can help de-escalate conflict and uncover what is really going on
• How to use looping for understanding, a strategy described by Amanda Ripley in High Conflict, to help people feel heard and understood
• Why summarizing what you heard and checking for understanding can reduce tension and build trust
• How partnership language keeps people on the same team during difficult conversations

Sentence stems to diffuse a situation:

• I hear you.
• I've made a note of that.
• Let me make sure I got this right.
• This is super important.
• I am so glad you brought this concern to me.
• I am taking this very seriously.
• I am so sorry this happened.
• We are working to ensure nothing like this happens again.
• I would be upset too if that is what I was told.

Sentence stems during conflict:

• Thanks for partnering with me on this.
• We both want the same thing.
• Let's work through this together.

Part of a 6-episode playbook for the toughest conversations school leaders face.

Resources:
https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/resources

Learn more about our books:
https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/our-book