What does neurodivergent burnout actually feel like?

In this episode of Just Your Normal Missfit, Ann Thomas speaks with Melanie Lobo, a neurodivergent virtual assistant, spoonie, and systems strategist who helps neurodivergent individuals work in ways that support their brains instead of fighting them.

Melanie shares her journey of being diagnosed with autism and ADHD as an adult while simultaneously navigating chronic illness, burnout, and the loss of mobility. Together, Ann and Melanie explore what burnout really looks like, the difference between exhaustion and shutdowns, why self-awareness is critical for neurodivergent wellbeing, and how concepts like energy mapping and spoon theory can help people build more sustainable lives.

In this conversation:

• Receiving an autism and ADHD diagnosis as an adult
• Why diagnosis doesn't always feel like relief
• The early warning signs of burnout
• What autistic shutdowns can feel like
• Spoon theory and managing limited energy
• Working with your energy instead of forcing productivity
• Building support systems and neurodivergent community
• Learning to embrace your neurodivergent identity

📌Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and Setup
01:08 Melanie’s VA Work
01:47 What ND Affirming Means
03:24 Late Diagnosis Story
06:32 Labels and Identity Shift
10:53 Freelancing as Strength
12:33 Finding Community Support
14:07 Burnout Warning Signs
16:51 Shutdowns and Recovery
21:08 Energy Tracking Tools
24:39 Inward Looking Exercise
29:49 Spoon Theory Intro
30:10 Spoon Theory Basics
30:56 Building a Spoons Tracker
31:22 Tasks That Drain or Recharge
33:10 Anger as High Energy
33:54 Burnout and Emotional Regulation
35:21 Quitting a Misaligned Client
37:42 Rebuilding Routines After Burnout
39:28 Support Systems and Self Talk
41:30 Diagnosis and Reframing Labels
43:12 Change and Side Quests
45:38 Podcast Wrap and Recording Anxiety
47:56 Money, Side Hustles, and Book Editing
49:59 Final Goodbye

If you've ever felt exhausted, overwhelmed, misunderstood, or like you're constantly pushing yourself beyond your limits, this episode is for you.

Subscribe to Just Your Normal Missfit for conversations that make neurodivergence more visible, relatable, and understood.

What happens after an autism diagnosis?

In this deeply moving episode of Just Your Normal Missfit, host Ann Thomas speaks with Divya Singh, mother, educator and autism advocate, about raising her son Ayushman, whose journey began with rare infantile spasms before he was later diagnosed with autism.

Divya shares how her family moved beyond searching for answers and instead focused on understanding Ayushman's strengths, building routines, embracing communication in different forms, and creating an environment where he could thrive.

Together, they discuss:

•⁠ ⁠Early autism signs parents should notice

•⁠ ⁠Infantile spasms and developmental regression

•⁠ ⁠Why autism isn't something to "fix"

•⁠ ⁠Sensory needs, stimming and meltdowns

•⁠ ⁠Communication beyond spoken language

•⁠ ⁠Supporting older autistic children and teenagers

•⁠ ⁠The importance of family support

•⁠ ⁠Dealing with judgment, guilt and burnout

•⁠ ⁠Building independence instead of chasing perfection

•⁠ ⁠Why society needs empathy, not sympathy

This conversation is filled with practical insights, honest reflections and hope for parents, caregivers, educators and anyone who wants to better understand autism.

Timestamps

00:00 Meet Divya Singh

02:06 Early Signs Appear

03:13 Infantile Spasms Diagnosis

05:14 Autism After Seizures

06:34 Therapies And Hope

07:16 Sibling Perspective

09:16 Stop Chasing Causes

11:54 Neurodivergence Mindset Shift

13:30 Daily Life And Sensory Tools

15:32 Milestones And Family Support

18:11 Autism Markers To Watch

21:35 Sensory Seeking And Pain

22:54 Navigating Advice And Diet

24:42 Beyond Temple Fixes

25:18 Take Them Out Often

26:44 Assume Competence

27:24 Understanding The Spectrum

29:45 Acceptance Without Stares

32:48 Stimming Explained

36:21 Diet And Protocol Training

40:37 Family Support System

46:21 Building Trust In Care

48:39 Family Acceptance Matters

49:48 Preparing Society With Awareness

50:58 Lift Story And Empathy

52:39 Let Others Step In

56:08 Movement And Home Gym

56:40 Celebrate Small Wins

57:48 Work As Self Care

01:00:48 Parenting Older Kids

01:02:25 Aggression, Puberty & Routine

01:08:55 Rapid Fire

01:12:40 Inclusion, Not Cure

01:14:23 Closing Thoughts

If this conversation resonates with you, consider subscribing to Just Your Normal Missfit for honest conversations around neurodivergence, parenting and inclusion.

Our next guest on the podcast is Melissa Monteiro, a Bangalore-bred teacher and personal tutor specializing in neurodivergent children, to discuss why she shifted from classrooms to one-on-one teaching after seeing students left out by standardized systems. Melissa explains how labels like “lazy” or “disrespectful” often miss the real challenges of ADHD, dysgraphia, and emotional regulation, and emphasizes separating the child from the behavior and keeping the “issue” as the shared problem. Drawing on her own anxiety, she describes supporting students through overwhelm, reframing success beyond marks, and using strengths-based approaches. Together, Ann and Melissa cover negative self-talk, rejection sensitivity, and alarming suicide risk, sharing tools like asking “where is the evidence?” and speaking to oneself like a friend. Melissa also discusses family pressures, affordability of support, balancing push vs pressure, the value of love and specific appreciation, physical activity and social connection, and the importance of parent self-care and “pressing pause.”📌 Timestamps:00:00 Meet Melissa Monteiro00:40 Why Melissa Chose Teaching01:52 Leaving the Classroom06:07 Proving One-on-One Tutoring Works08:58 Beyond Labels and Behaviour12:42 Same Team Mindset16:17 Empathy and Anxiety Tools19:04 Teaching Neurodivergent Learners24:57 Families Expectations and Support29:45 Building Confidence Stories32:52 Anxiety Behind The Talk33:56 Real Student Voices36:11 Tunnel Vision Spiral38:45 RSD And Moving Goals41:35 Evidence And Self Compassion44:31 Parent Strategies That Help48:01 Motivation And Loneliness52:02 Parent Burnout And Pause55:54 Complex Family Dynamics59:54 Love And Closing Thoughts