This episode, it’s just ME.

No guest, no back and forth, no distraction. Just me sitting inside the question that was left and actually answering it instead of dodging it.

When have I felt completely helpless and it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.

I go back about eight years. On paper, everything was sorted. House, money, business, toys, family. The life most people are chasing. The top of the mountain I thought was going to fix everything.

And nothing changed, because I hadn’t changed.

That’s where it started to crack. I hit a point where everything I had built didn’t match how I felt. So I did what most people do. I started looking around for the problem. I changed locations, changed direction, tried to move my life around hoping something would shift.

It didn’t. It got worse.

I ended up back at my mum’s place in my early forties with my daughter. Everything I owned was tied up in court. COVID hit at the same time. No control, no direction, no idea what the fuck I was doing.

That was the collapse.

Not the one at 22 when I got sober. This was different. This was internal. Everything I thought I was fell apart.

And I didn’t want to hear any of the shit people were saying at the time. That there was a lesson in it. That I should stay with it. That I shouldn’t rush out of the suffering. I wanted it to stop.

But that was the turning point.

Because when everything else dropped away, I had nowhere left to look except at myself. Not the version I liked, not the story I told, but the actual patterns. The way I showed up in relationships, as a partner, as a father, as a boss, and even as someone trying to help others while still avoiding parts of myself.

This episode sits inside that shift. What happens when the life you built doesn’t save you. What happens when the story stops working. What happens when you run out of people to blame and the only place left to look is inward.

It also moves into what’s happening now. The world feels unstable, people are under pressure, and there’s a lot of fear around what’s coming next. Most people are looking for answers somewhere outside of themselves, hoping something out there will settle it.

What I’ve seen is the opposite.

Sometimes things have to collapse. Sometimes you have to feel helpless. Because that’s the only point where something real can actually change, not the surface version, not the image, but the foundation underneath it.

I don’t fix it.

I sit inside what that collapse actually did, what it showed me, and what it cost to stop running from it.

The question I leave for the next guest is this.

What is something you wish you were better at in relationships?

It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist
Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME

No tips.
No fixing.
Just real conversations.

Book- https://cxv22j-gy.myshopify.com/ Discount Code: PODCAST20

Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/chadtaylor.itsyou/?hl=en

Tiktok- https://www.tiktok.com/@chadtaylor.itsyou?lang=en

Email- chadtaylorpsychotherapy@gmail.com

In this episode, I’m joined by David Russell.

David is my supervisor. Decades in the field. Academic, therapist, teacher. More lived experience than most and not hiding behind it.

This conversation sits inside something deeper than most people want to go.

We go straight into the question that was left.

What does it mean when something is done out of love beyond good and evil.

And it doesn’t stay philosophical for long.

David breaks it down in a way that strips the bullshit out of it. Good and evil as ideas don’t hold much. They don’t carry imagination. They don’t carry depth. They are labels. Morality. Surface level.

We move into something else.

Soul.

Not as a word people throw around. As something that actually happens. In the moment. In connection. In presence.

Not something you learn.
Not something you perform.
Something you allow.

We also go into the danger in this work.

How easy it is to hide behind the identity of therapist, coach, psychologist. To use training as armour. To sit above instead of with.

And how quickly that kills any real connection.

This one hits on something I care about a lot.

Dropping the vertical relationship. Therapist above client. Parent above child. One person holding the power.

And moving it into something more honest. More equal. More human.

Not losing boundaries.
Not losing responsibility.

But actually meeting someone where they are instead of trying to manage them.

There’s also honesty in this.

The pull of ego.
The inflation that comes when someone tells you how good you are.
How easy it is to believe your own bullshit if you don’t check it.

No one is above that.

Not me.
Not him.
Not anyone.

This one slows things down.

Less talking.
More presence.

The question David leaves for the next guest is this.

When have you felt completely helpless and it ended up being the best thing that ever happened to you?

It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist
Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME

No tips.
No fixing.
Just real conversations.

Book- https://cxv22j-gy.myshopify.com/ Discount Code: PODCAST20

Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/chadtaylor.itsyou/?hl=en

Tiktok- https://www.tiktok.com/@chadtaylor.itsyou?lang=en

Email- chadtaylorpsychotherapy@gmail.com

In this episode, I’m joined by Josh Shay.

Josh is a coach who works with pornography addiction and the fallout that comes with it. Before that, he was what most people would call high functioning. Successful, visible, respected. All while hiding alcoholism and a porn addiction that was running his life underneath it.

This conversation sits inside illusion, validation, and what it costs to hold everything together.

Josh speaks about being an overachiever who could perform at a high level while everything underneath was falling apart. The energy it took just to maintain the image. To keep people seeing what he wanted them to see while hiding what was actually going on.

What stood out in this one is how much of his identity was built on external validation. Awards, recognition, status. Not because he was arrogant, but because he needed it to feel like he was enough. And how quickly that falls apart when the addiction catches up.

We go into the moment where everything collapsed. Losing his role, being confronted by the people around him, and having to make a decision. Keep going the way he was going or face what was actually there.

From there, the conversation moves into responsibility.

Not just stopping the behaviour.
Understanding how you got there in the first place.

Because putting something down is one thing.
Seeing why you needed it is something else entirely.

We also talk about ego.

How easy it is to chase attention.
How easy it is to build a version of yourself that looks good from the outside.
And how different it feels to step away from that and live a quieter life that is actually aligned.

This one is honest.

Not about perfection.
Not about having it all sorted.

About what it takes to go from performing your life to actually living it.

The question Josh leaves for the next guest is this.

What does it mean when something is done out of love and exists beyond good and evil?

It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist
Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME

No tips.
No fixing.
Just real conversations.

Book- https://cxv22j-gy.myshopify.com/ Discount Code: PODCAST20

Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/chadtaylor.itsyou/?hl=en

Tiktok- https://www.tiktok.com/@chadtaylor.itsyou?lang=en

Email- chadtaylorpsychotherapy@gmail.com