Bullying often hides in plain sight, wrapped in polished charm and shifting rules that leave you doubting your memory. Author, executive and consultant, Jane Phipps joins me to pull the mask off toxic and narcissistic leadership and get practical about how to spot the patterns, protect your energy, and keep your team safe without sacrificing your career.

We start by naming the behaviours that erode confidence: gaslighting disguised as “feedback,” image management that crumbles under stress, and mood-driven standards that keep everyone on edge. Jane shares how early life dynamics can prime high-performing women to normalise dysfunction, then walks through simple, effective tools: short confirmation emails that anchor facts, body cues that signal a line has been crossed, and candid check-ins with trusted peers to counter isolation. We dig into gendered nuances—overt versus covert tactics—and why hybrid work can amplify manipulation when there are fewer witnesses and weak feedback loops.

From there, we pivot to solutions at two levels. Individually, we use the umbrella test to decide when loyalty becomes self-harm and how to exit with clarity. Organisationally, we challenge the promotion of high-image, low-empathy operators and argue for better screening for emotional intelligence, 360 feedback, and leadership coaching that builds genuine relational skill. The alternative isn’t soft; it’s heart-centred leadership: showing up as a real human, setting firm boundaries, assuming positive intent, and creating psychological safety so people can do their best work.

If you’ve ever left a meeting second-guessing your reality, this conversation offers language, tools, and courage. Subscribe for more candid, research-informed conversations about work, leadership, and wellbeing, share this with someone who needs backup today, and leave a quick review to help these stories reach more women.

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