『I'm a Good Partner. So Why Does Sex Feel Like a Chore?』のカバーアート

I'm a Good Partner. So Why Does Sex Feel Like a Chore?

I'm a Good Partner. So Why Does Sex Feel Like a Chore?

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If sex has started to feel like something you get through rather than something you want to experience, you're not alone — and it's not about attraction or love. For a lot of high-functioning, responsible people, pleasure has quietly been crossed off the list of things that matter. And their partners feel it.

This episode covers:

  • How a productivity mindset migrates into the bedroom — and what it does to desire and intimacy
  • The difference between accommodating sex and actually wanting it, and why that gap matters
  • Why some people struggle to know what they want at all — in bed or anywhere else — and how to start finding out
  • What it looks like to gradually rebuild a tolerance for pleasure, outside the bedroom and in it
  • The real cost to a relationship when one partner has stopped letting themselves want things

This is the kind of work Jackie and Catherine do with couples and individuals all the time. If you're curious what it might look like to explore this, both offer a free 15-minute consultation.

https://www.differentiatedlove.com/

https://www.candgtherapy.com/

https://www.catherineroebuck.com/

Chapter Markers00:00 – Why pleasure is a charged topic for so many people 01:19 – When what you want gets overruled by logic 03:36 – Want vs. need: why "we just ate" misses the point 04:07 – How productivity culture crowds out pleasure 05:26 – Religious and cultural messaging around wanting things for yourself 07:36 – When your value feels entirely external 08:24 – High achievers, disconnected bodies, and intimacy 09:01 – When sex becomes a checklist item 10:10 – The relational cost of depriving yourself 11:33 – Feeling alive: pleasure vs. productivity 12:28 – Slowing down and engaging the senses 14:48 – Why couples rush through sex — and what's underneath it 16:33 – Building your tolerance for pleasure outside the bedroom first 17:00 – Letting your partner see you enjoy things 18:35 – Unpacking guilt around wanting 20:23 – Duty-based sex and what it does to desire 22:44 – Knowing what you like as part of having a self 24:11 – You can't have it both ways: choosing pleasure or productivity 26:40 – Window of tolerance: expanding gradually 28:26 – Practical ways to slow down and stay present 29:32 – Multitasking as a way to avoid feeling 31:38 – Curiosity about what you actually like 33:33 – Trying things, changing your mind, and the freedom there 36:21 – When a parent's voice shows up the moment you enjoy something 38:11 – Closing thoughts

Music: Echoes by Roa https://soundcloud.com/roa_music1031

License: Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0

Free Download / Stream: https://audiolibrary.com.co/roa-music/echoes

Music promoted by Audio Library: https://youtu.be/HCXJxHIkH8w
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