『If I Were the Devil: The War On Love Podcast』のカバーアート

If I Were the Devil: The War On Love Podcast

If I Were the Devil: The War On Love Podcast

著者： Danielle Lew Jesus-lover Wife Mom Therapist Relationship Coach
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You know what God's Word says about you - but somewhere between your head and your heart, something gets lost.

Welcome to If I Were the Devil: The War on Love — a podcast for Christian men and women navigating the real, often messy intersection of faith, inner healing, and relationships. Whether you're carrying wounds from relationship betrayal, battling shame and lies about yourself, or simply wondering why knowing the truth still doesn't make you feel free - you're in the right place.

And you're not crazy for feeling that gap. There's actually a reason for it.

I'm Danielle (I go by Dani) Lew therapist, certified professional coach, and someone who knows this territory from the inside. I met Jesus at 19, fell in love with Him and His love for me as a Father, Savior, God, and Friend. And yet, I still spent years struggling to break free from addictions and step fully into the Identity He called me into!

What I didn't know was the integration between body, mind, and spiritual health and all are important! I didn't learn that at home, in church, or even in Graduate School!

Though personal growth and pursuit of that my mind and nervous system needed to actually heal, not just learn more Scripture. That discovery changed everything. Today, after more than 20 years of sobriety and every form of healing I could get my hands on, I walk daily in genuine freedom — from anxiety, from shame, from waiting for the other shoe to drop — and I actually know and believe I am loved and safe with God.

That freedom is available to you too. And this podcast exists to show you the way there.

Each episode brings together neuroscience, Scripture, and hard-won personal experience to help you heal the wounds that keep you stuck — in your relationship with God, with yourself, and with the people you love most. We cover Christian inner healing, attachment wounds, nervous system healing, forgiveness, spiritual warfare, and the very real war the enemy wages on your ability to love and be loved.

No spiritual bypassing. No easy answers. Just truth, tools, and someone who has walked this road walking it with you.

👉 Start with Episode 1 — the topics build on each other, and this journey is better from the beginning.

Want to reach out? Send me an email to hello@rootedrefinedandrestored.com


© 2026 Danielle Nicole Coaching, LLC All Rights Reserved. キリスト教 スピリチュアリティ 聖職・福音主義
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  • The Four Entry Points of Shame Why the Enemy Targets Your Identity, Not Just Your Behavior

    The Four Entry Points of Shame Why the Enemy Targets Your Identity, Not Just Your Behavior
    2026/08/03

    If I Were the Devil: The War on Love EPISODE SHOW NOTES The Four Entry Points of Shame Why the Enemy Targets Your Identity, Not Just Your Behavior Episode Summary Hey friend, it's Dani. In this episode, I'm picking up right where we left off two weeks ago in our series on shame. If you missed that episode, the short version is this: shame keeps us in hiding. Today I go deeper into what shame actually feels like in the body, where it comes from, and why the enemy targets our identity instead of just our behavior. I read a piece I've held onto for over 20 years called “Please Hear What I'm Not Saying” — a raw, honest look at the masks we wear to keep our true selves hidden. Then I walk through four primary roots of shame I see over and over again in my work with couples navigating betrayal trauma: 1. Early attachment ruptures — being met with contempt, ridicule, or silence instead of comfort 2. Family messages internalized as identity — “you're too much,” “you're a disappointment” 3. Trauma and betrayal — especially intimate betrayal, which collapses both safety and identity at once 4. Fear-based teaching — religious trauma from performance-based faith instead of relationship-based faith I also share a little of my own story with addiction recovery and how shame showed up as “the enemy with a carrot on a stick” — followed by the beating I gave myself once I took the bait. What We Cover ● Why shame's real target is your identity, not just your behavior (the military “center of gravity” principle) ● Genesis 3 and Matthew 4:3 — how “did God really say?” and “if you are the Son of God” reveal the enemy's actual strategy ● What shame physically feels like: flushed face, tightened chest, the urge to disappear ● Why shame makes us hide the very parts of us that most need to be seen and known ● A reading of “Please Hear What I'm Not Saying,” a piece from the recovery community on the masks we wear ● The four root sources of shame, with real examples from my clinical and coaching work ● Why betrayal trauma is uniquely devastating — you lose both safety and the person who would normally provide it ● A preview of an upcoming series on epigenetics, generational curses, and the book It Didn't Start With You A Verse to Sit With Revelation 12:10 reminds us who the accuser really is — and it isn't God. If the inner voice you're hearing sounds like condemnation, that's a clue about its source. Scripture Referenced ● Matthew 22:37–39 (the Greatest Commandment) ● Genesis 3 ● Matthew 4:3 ● Revelation 12:10 Book Mentioned It Didn't Start With You by Mark Wolynn — a secular, science-based look at epigenetics that Dani connects to the biblical concept of generational curses and blessings. A Note If This Resonated If any part of this episode struck a nerve, that's worth paying attention to, not running from. Get curious about where your own shame took root. Consider a recovery community like Celebrate Recovery, Overcomers Outreach, or Regeneration, or working with a trauma-informed, biblically rooted therapist or coach. You don't have to untangle this alone — and you were never meant to. Connect Learn more about betrayal trauma recovery and Dani's work at www.rootedrefinedandrestored.com Danielle Lew. 2026. All Rights Reserved.
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    32 分
  • Shame Keeps Us In Hiding

    Shame Keeps Us In Hiding
    2026/07/22
    War on Love Podcast — Show Notes Shame: The Enemy's Favorite Weapon (Series Premiere) Recorded: Tuesday, July 21 I know, I know. It's not Monday. And honestly, that's kind of the point of this whole episode. I want to take you through my day yesterday, because this is real-life spiritual warfare, and it doesn't always look like how we think it's going to look. This is the start of a series I've been sitting on for a while, on shame, because I don't think it gets talked about nearly enough in our churches. Shame has been present since Genesis, and it is still one of the biggest things I see keeping people (including me) stuck. Here's what actually happened yesterday morning. I needed to leave the house by 6am to take my son Kyle to his freshman orientation, about two and a half hours away. I hadn't recorded this episode yet, which I'd committed to doing on Mondays. So I woke up around 2 or 3am with racing thoughts, the kind of anxiety that hits you in that liminal space between sleep and being fully awake, when your logical brain hasn't caught up yet. And my mind just kept rolling. First it was, "I have so much to do, maybe Derek should take Kyle instead." Then I caught myself and remembered my own values: God first, family second, I show up for my kids. So I let that go. But then the fear hit again: if I go with Kyle, I won't get the podcast done. Then comparison: there are podcasters so much better than me who have it together. Then hopelessness: why even do this podcast at all. And then it went somewhere deeper. A thought landed on who Derek and I even are to be coaching other couples through emotional intimacy, when we're still working through our own. I recognized what that was. Fear. Shame. Comparison. Doubt. All of it pulling me straight out of my value system, none of it from the Lord. So I got up, sat down with my journal and my Word, and spent the next three hours right there with the Lord before Kyle and I ever left the house. That's actually where this episode came from. What I Want You to Know About Shame Hate isn't the opposite of love. Fear is. And shame produces fear, which produces more shame. It's a cycle, and it interrupts our ability to love God, love ourselves, and love other people. I've come to believe that all forms of addiction, whether it's alcohol, workaholism, striving, comparison, are illegitimate ways of meeting legitimate needs. Shame is what drives us there. As a trauma therapist, I'll tell you honestly: a lot of the diagnoses I see (depression, social anxiety, addiction) have shame sitting underneath them. Deal with the shame, and sometimes the symptom picture changes entirely. I keep coming back to Genesis 3 on this. Genesis 2:25 says Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed. Then the fall happens, and by Genesis 3:7 they're sewing fig leaves together to cover themselves. That's the original mask. That's still what we're doing today, just with better fabric. The antidote to shame isn't more hiding. It's vulnerability. It's coming out of it. That's part of why I'm telling you all this before I'd even told my own husband. I didn't share my wrestle with Derek until last night. The enemy loves to point out that inconsistency, that I coach people on intimacy while still working through my own instinct toward self-sufficiency. And I want you to know I'm not pretending to have arrived. None of us do. That's the whole point. Shame Indicator Checklist I read this list on the episode because most people who carry shame don't actually recognize it as shame. Go through it slowly. See what lands. I feel bad for having needs I'm sensitive and easily hurt or offended I have a hard time accepting compliments I feel lonely and unable to relate or connect with others I see myself as less than others, or insignificant I struggle to see my worth and feel unlovable I get easily embarrassed I have a high need for praise I struggle with making mistakes I strive hard to achieve I have a hard time admitting when I'm wrong I get easily angered or sad when given feedback or criticism I justify my choices and behaviors I know something is true in my head, but not in my heart (or believe it for others, but not for myself) I feel undeserving of good things I secretly believe I don't measure up to others I believe I'm not good enough I believe I have very few things to offer I'm self-conscious around other people I'm embarrassed about my feelings and emotions I struggle with self-loathing or often feel victimized I feel the need to wear a mask to hide from others I use self-condemning words out loud or in my mind (like calling myself stupid over a small mistake) I feel numb inside I have a hard time connecting with others I can feel lonely even in a crowded room I feel like no one understands me If you checked several of these, I want to gently say: you need support to work through this. Not shame about having shame, just support. Take it to the Lord. Take it to wise counsel. Naming it is the first ...
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    55 分
  • Final Spiritual Warfare Episode: Is Yoga Ok as a Christian?

    Final Spiritual Warfare Episode: Is Yoga Ok as a Christian?
    2026/07/13
    Wrapping Up the Spiritual Warfare Series This episode closes out the spiritual warfare series I've been walking through, following the two episodes where my friend Katherine shared her testimony. I know some of this has gotten heavy, and for some of you, it's gotten controversial. I want to say up front, that's okay. You might hear things you haven't heard before, and you might not agree with all of it. I'm not asking you to. I'm asking you to sit with it, take it to the Lord, and let the Holy Spirit speak to you. In this one, I'm focused on how the enemy actually gets access into our lives. Not through some dramatic breach, but through deception, small compromises, and things we've let become normal without ever asking why. I start in Job 1. Job made it his regular practice to cover his kids in prayer and sacrifice, just in case they'd sinned. I'm grateful we don't have to offer sacrifices anymore. Jesus was the final one. But the posture Job modeled still applies. We cover our households through prayer, through seeking the Lord, through being good stewards of our time. I also want to correct something I hear often from clients: Job's suffering was not punishment. He didn't sin. Sometimes we're in a fiery season and it has nothing to do with us being punished. The promise was never that we'd avoid trouble. The promise is restoration. I also point out that Satan is described as roaming and going back and forth on the earth. That's not an Old Testament detail we can file away. He's active, he's studying us, and this lines up with the roaring lion language in the New Testament. From there I get into what I know will stir some pushback: how much of what Scripture explicitly names as forbidden has become completely normalized in our culture. Tarot cards at Target, witch costumes and cartoons for kids, astrology, crystals, Ouija boards, palm reading. I'm not judging anyone who's engaged in these things. You're accountable to the Lord, not to me. But I am making the case, using Scripture, that this is exactly how deception works. It doesn't look dangerous. It looks normal. I use a military picture I've leaned on throughout this series: the enemy operating on interior lines. He doesn't have to breach our walls from outside because in Western culture especially, the door is already cracked from within. Culture, media, and our own flesh already give him access. He doesn't need to invade what's already lined up with his goals. He just has to maintain it. Then I go deep on yoga, and I know this is the part that'll get the most reaction. I lean on a book called The Death of a Guru by David Hunt and Rabi Maharaj, who was raised in a long line of Hindu priests and trained as a yogi before coming to Christ. His argument, and mine, is that yoga can't be separated from its theological roots even when it's marketed here as stress relief or exercise. The word itself means to yoke or unite with Brahman. Specific poses were built as acts of devotion to specific Hindu deities. Sun salutation is a literal worship sequence to a sun god. Warrior pose, dancer pose, the poses tied to Hanuman, all of it traces back to something. Kundalini practice specifically invites what Scripture would call a familiar spirit, and I don't say that lightly. Om and Namaste aren't neutral sounds. They're theological statements. Here's where I land, and I say this pastorally, not to shame anyone. The peace people feel in these practices is real. Maharaj says himself that the enemy doesn't have to lie about the feeling, only about the source. My encouragement is simple: do the stretching, do the breathing, it's good for your nervous system. Just don't call it yoga. Don't call it Christian yoga or holy yoga either. If we relabel something and keep the name, we normalize it for the next believer who's watching us and thinking it must be fine. I also walk through some of the harder material in this episode, the sacrificial practices named in the Old Testament, because I felt convicted to include it even though it's uncomfortable. I connect it briefly to the Epstein files, not to sensationalize it, but because I think we have a responsibility to stay aware rather than put our heads in the sand. We don't have to live in fear of any of this. We just can't pretend it isn't real. I close out with a fuller list of what Scripture names as occult and divination practices, divination, witchcraft, necromancy, consulting the dead, astrology, syncretism, all with their references, and I bring it home with 2 Kings 17, where Israel is exiled specifically because they adopted the practices of the nations around them. That's the whole point of this series. Mixing light and darkness has consequences, even when it feels harmless. Next episode, I'm shifting into a new topic. Shame has been on my heart to go deeper into, since it's one of the primary ways the enemy keeps us from sharing the light of the gospel with others. Scripture referenced Job 1; Deuteronomy 7:25, 18:...
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    44 分
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