After spending the last few episodes talking about the Healing ARC, your Inner Oracle, conditioning, and learning to recognize the different voices influencing your decisions, life decided it was time for me to put everything I’ve been teaching into practice.

Cool. Pop quiz.

This week, I’m sharing the very real and very recent story of losing one of my chickens, Dodge—and the grief, guilt, second-guessing, and spiritual questions that followed.

Before something happened that may have contributed to her decline, I had an instinct about what I should do. I considered it, weighed it against the information I had at the time…and ultimately chose something else.

Afterward, it was almost impossible not to wonder:

What if I had listened?

Could I have prevented what happened?

Did I fail to trust myself?

And how do you forgive yourself when there really IS something you wish you had done differently?

In this episode of Jotindi: Journey to the Inner Divine, we’re talking about what self-trust actually looks like when life gets messy. Not when you follow your intuition and everything magically works out—but when you make a decision you regret, don't get the outcome you wanted, and have to figure out how to stay in relationship with yourself anyway.

We’ll explore hindsight and the alternate timelines we create in our minds, the difference between taking responsibility and punishing ourselves, what guilt may actually be trying to teach us, and why self-forgiveness doesn’t require pretending we did everything perfectly.

I’m also sharing some of the spiritual questions Dodge’s death brought up for me—including a healing spell jar that didn’t create the outcome I hoped for, my complicated feelings about miracles, and the uncomfortable realization that spirituality can sometimes become another way we try to control the uncontrollable.

Because maybe spiritual growth isn’t about becoming so connected that you never make another mistake.

Maybe self-trust is knowing that when you do, you won’t abandon yourself because of it.

If this episode brings up something you’re still carrying—something you did, didn’t do, or wish you could go back and change—my forgiveness ebook and workbook can help you begin working through it with more compassion, understanding, and intention.

Download the forgiveness ebook + workbook here:

https://www.mariahaurora.com/freebie/forgiveness

Hosted by Mariah Aurora

Jotindi: Journey to the Inner Divine

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