In this episode of Grit, Grace, Growth, hosts Kim & Ken welcome Alicia Barr, a real estate entrepreneur, mentor, and author of More Than a Secret: How a Mistress Broke Free From Her Affair.

Raised in small-town America with a strong foundation of faith and hard work, Alicia demonstrated an entrepreneurial spirit from an early age. She purchased her first house at 16, renovated another at 17, and has spent more than two decades flipping homes. After a failed livestock venture left her owing $35,000 as a teenager, she paid back the debt and committed to building a life without credit cards, car loans, or traditional real estate financing.

But beneath her professional success, Alicia was carrying a painful secret.

More than a decade ago, she entered a four-year affair that eventually brought her to rock bottom. What began as excitement and connection became a cycle of secrecy, shame, grief, and emotional turmoil. Alicia knew the relationship was no longer serving anyone, but walking away from someone she loved—and from a life that had become deeply intertwined with her own—proved far more difficult than she imagined.

A pivotal moment at a conference finally gave Alicia the courage to end the affair and tell someone the truth. She confided in her sister, began counseling, and committed herself to healing one difficult day at a time. When she searched for stories from women who had occupied the role of “the other woman,” however, she found very few resources offering honesty, accountability, or hope.

That absence ultimately gave Alicia’s pain a new purpose.

Drawing from years of journal entries, counseling, and personal reflection, Alicia wrote More Than a Secret for the woman she once was—the woman who knows she needs to leave but cannot yet imagine a life on the other side. By sharing her experience, Alicia hopes to challenge shame, create space for honest conversations, and remind others that no one was meant to live as a secret.

At the heart of this conversation is the reminder that healing begins with telling the truth. Although stepping into the light can be difficult, it can also offer the freedom, hope, and future that secrecy never could.

In this episode, we talk about:

• An air-conditioning-themed “Two Truths and a Lie” featuring movie theaters, Willis Carrier, and the White House

• Buying her first house at 16 and renovating another at 17

• Losing nine of 35 steers and owing $35,000 as a teenager

• Paying back that debt and committing to a debt-free life

• Building a successful career flipping homes without traditional bank financing

• How a painful experience within her church affected her faith and sense of belonging

• Entering a four-year affair and recognizing when excitement had become toxicity

• The emotional weight of secrecy, shame, and living a divided life

• The conference moment that gave her the courage to end the affair

• Why telling her sister became the first step in Alicia’s healing

• The importance of counseling and trusted support when navigating grief

• Turning years of journal entries into More Than a Secret

• Writing the resource she desperately needed during her own rock-bottom moment

• Finding purpose in pain and using her story to help others step into the light

  
  

Connect with Alicia:

Website: aliciabarr.com

Book: More Than a Secret: How a Mistress Broke Free From Her Affair, available wherever books are sold in print and audiobook formats.

Connect with Grit, Grace, Growth:

Email: support@gritgracegrowth.com

If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow, rate, and share it with someone who needs the reminder that healing begins with honesty—and that no one is meant to remain a secret.