The default parent is the one who knows everything. Who knows what size diaper the kids wear. Who tracks the lunch supplies, the babysitter's schedule, the medicine doses. It usually falls on mom, and when both parents work, it's a fast track to burnout.

Kevin and I sit down during naptime to talk about how this became a real problem in our marriage, how we started to work through it, and what we're still figuring out.
We get into:

- Why I stopped communicating early enough and let resentment build
- Kevin's honest reaction the first few times I brought it up (defensive, blindsided, biting his tongue)
- The mental load that nobody sees, and why "well I emptied the dishwasher" isn't the same thing
- How Kevin found his own footing as a solo parent once he stopped trying to replicate my routines
- Why 50-50 isn't the goal and expecting it will make you miserable
- The pink Nikes story, and what it taught me about letting go of control
- Kevin's advice to men: swallow your pride
- My advice to women: ask for help, it's not failure

If you're carrying the mental load and don't know how to hand any of it off, or if you're the partner watching your spouse burn out and not sure what you're missing, this one's for you.

Follow the podcast, subscribe to Most Days on Instagram, and tell me in the comments how you and your partner have worked through this.