Why is making friends as an adult so difficult—and why are female friendships often both deeply supportive and unexpectedly complicated?

Friendship may be one of the most overlooked public health assets we have. Yet it's also one of the least studied areas of psychology. In this episode, Dr. Sarah Hill sits down with UCLA friendship researcher Dr. Jaimie Krems to unpack the science behind why friendships matter, why women experience friendship differently than men, and what we can do to build stronger, healthier connections in modern life.

Dr. Jaimie Krems is a social and evolutionary psychologist at UCLA, where she directs the Social Minds Lab and the UCLA Center for Friendship Research. Her work explores one of the most important yet overlooked questions in psychology: why humans make friends, how friendships evolve, and why they profoundly shape our physical and mental health.

Together, Dr. Sarah Hill and Dr. Krems explore how friendship protects us against anxiety, depression, cardiovascular disease, and even premature death. They discuss why lacking close friends can have health consequences comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes per day, and why researchers now consider friendship a major public health issue.

The conversation also dives into what many women secretly experience but rarely discuss: why female friendships can feel both extraordinary and emotionally complicated.

The answer is yes—but it requires intentionality.

In a culture optimized for convenience and productivity, we've accidentally eliminated many of the moments that once helped friendships grow naturally.

This episode offers practical ways to bring those moments back.

1. Strong friendships improve mental health, cardiovascular health, and longevity.
2. Friendship is one of the strongest predictors of happiness across adulthood.
3. Repeated interactions are one of the simplest ways to build meaningful adult friendships.
4. Technology has unintentionally removed many opportunities that once helped friendships deepen naturally.
5. Women often prioritize fewer, deeper friendships, while men tend to maintain larger social networks.
6. Friendship deserves the same intentional investment we typically give to careers and romantic relationships.

Dr. Jaimie Krems is a social and evolutionary psychologist at UCLA, where she directs the Social Minds Lab and the UCLA Center for Friendship Research. Her research examines friendship, cooperation, social support, and the evolutionary forces that shape human relationships.

Connect with Sarah:

Website https://www.sarahehill.com/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sarahehillphd/

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahehillphd

Connect twith Jamie:

UCLA Faculty Page https://www.psych.ucla.edu/faculty-page/jkrems/

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaimie-krems

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jaimie.krems/