I had an online, psychic reader yesterday tell me that for $475 and a team of 7 working round the clock for 7-10 days, can break my cursed roots from my Egyptian past life and be with my soul partner now. She said we freed so many slaves that dark energies were so enraged that they kept us apart for life times to come as punishment. Life always separated us and we spent thousands of years trying to get back together as that was always fate but something always kept us apart. Mainly the dark attachment energy that she said surrounded me. I asked her about present time and she said, he tried to move on and it didn’t work. Every time you think about him, he thinks about you. He still loves you and he pushed you away because he believes you can do better and is not worthy of your love. He tried to spare you from himself. He lives day by day, doing the best he can but longs and yearns for you both to be together but will not allow himself that love.

She confirmed this man in the podcast you hear today was my soul partner and she specialized in past life deep root energy clearing and until I cleared the air, something would always keep us apart. She said five years was too long, time was running out and stretching us both too thin to the brink of exhaustion and overwhelm. She said you will be lucky to have 1-2 more years of chances to get back together but our red chord is almost completely severed and after that, all hope will be lost forever. Pray about it and sleep on it she said. She said, I could not do it alone and that it was up to me to do the work she asks of me and pay the price for both for us because he wasn’t able to get there himself.

I called my friend after this reading and he nearly lost it. He went on to tell me about how everyone has free will and she’s a load of bologna. He said that he and his girlfriend knew all the answers to spirituality, how to do it right, what is horse crock and not but no, they weren’t emotionally available for free or payment to dive into this with me. That my reading 8 months ago didn’t come true and it wasn’t up to their reading or opinion to clarify or update.

I believe with this friend I need to not talk about spirituality with him, because it’s like talking politics to someone you disagree with. Regardless, I texted him this morning and said thank you for saving me from a scam but that I also needed some alone time.

I don’t know what this life and life’s process will look like ahead. Only time and future knows that answer. I know I do all the things I can, to find that delicate balance of moving on and staying true to how I feel while not leading on others and attempting to feel along the way. But enough time has passed and these were the last messages I ever sent to the other side of my heart. I share them with you now. To all you humans with a pulse.

According to WhatsApp, he read them and played them, and silence to me was his response. I don’t chase him now, I leave him alone, I continue to work on myself and just appreciate time with my cat, and my condo. The little joys of talking to strangers and connecting with them wherever I go, the gratitude of having a job in a scary economy, and above all, my health. A shot glass of wine here and there, maybe a cigarette or two every couple of months. But for the most part, I can’t be any prouder of how hard I try or care. This is me. This is all of me. My last post on social media was: “I have something to say. Take it or leave it. Don’t let anyone. And I mean, anyone. Tell you there is something wrong with you for wanting to love or be loved. Period. The end”.

Sending love to you all who want it in your lives. -EV

Keywords: heartbreak, grief, pain, sorrow, human emotions, growing, healing, learning, changing, honesty, raw, genuine