What if love isn’t primarily something you feel—or something you have to wait for—but something you can choose?

In this episode of I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff sit down with pastor, author, and Bible teacher Chip Ingram to talk about his book I Choose Love and a radically practical way to understand biblical love.

Chip explains the difference between the feelings we associate with love and the agape love modeled by Jesus: a willful, sacrificial choice to put another person’s needs ahead of our own. And that matters whether we’re dealing with tension in a marriage, a difficult family relationship, division in the church, or someone whose views are completely different from ours.

Chip also gets personal, sharing how this understanding of love helped transform a deeply difficult season in his own marriage. The breakthrough came when he stopped focusing on how his wife needed to change and started asking what he could do differently. As Chip puts it, you can’t control another person—but you can change your part of the relationship.

You’ll also hear why loving action sometimes has to come before loving feelings, why humility and servanthood are so important, and three practical ways to become a more loving person: declare war on selfishness, attack the pride underneath it, and intentionally practice humility by putting others’ needs ahead of your own.

In this episode:

• Why biblical love is much more than a feeling

• The difference between agape love and romantic, friendship, and family love

• What Philippians 2 teaches us about loving like Jesus

• Why waiting until you feel loving can keep you stuck

• How choosing obedience can begin changing our hearts

• What Chip learned during a painful season in his own marriage

• Why you can’t control another person—but you can change your part of the relationship

• How selfishness and pride undermine love

• Three practical choices that can help us become more loving

• How Christians can pursue love and unity in a deeply divided culture

• Why the mindset “I am second” can change the way we approach everyday relationships

Resources mentioned:

Book: I Choose Love by Chip Ingram

Living on the Edge: livingontheedge.org

Also mentioned: Good to Great in God’s Eyes by Chip Ingram

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Boys today are growing up surrounded by confusing messages about masculinity and what it means to be a man. So how can parents help their sons develop a healthy, confident understanding of who God created them to be?

Shaunti and Jeff talk with Molly DeFrank, mom of six and author of Mothering Boys: 8 Things Your Son Needs to Hear from You Before He Turns 10. Together, they explore the powerful role parents—and especially moms—play in shaping a boy’s identity, character, confidence, and understanding of masculinity.

You’ll hear practical ways to speak life into your son, recognize the unique strengths God has given him, and help him grow into a godly man of courage and character.

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Feeling overwhelmed by motherhood? Wondering how to prioritize your faith when you're barely keeping up with everyday life?

If you've ever ended the day feeling guilty because you didn't have time to read your Bible, pray, or spend quiet time with God, you're not alone.

In this episode of I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with author, speaker, and Equipping Godly Women founder Brittany Ann to talk honestly about the challenges young Christian moms face. Together, they explore how to grow closer to God without adding more pressure to an already full life.

Brittany shares her own journey of balancing marriage, motherhood, ministry, and faith, along with practical encouragement for finding God's peace—even in the middle of exhaustion and chaos.

In This Episode You'll Learn:

• Why so many Christian moms struggle with guilt over their spiritual lives

• How to prioritize your relationship with God when life feels overwhelming

• Practical ways to spend meaningful time with God—even if you only have a few minutes

• The difference between striving for perfection and pursuing faithfulness

• How to let go of unrealistic expectations and embrace God's grace

• Encouragement for moms who feel spiritually dry or discouraged

• Simple habits that can help you stay connected to God during busy seasons

Whether you're raising toddlers, homeschooling, juggling work and family, or simply trying to catch your breath, this conversation offers biblical encouragement and practical hope for this season of life.

Meet Our Guest

Brittany Ann is an author, speaker, podcast host, and the founder of Equipping Godly Women, a ministry dedicated to encouraging Christian women with practical, biblical wisdom for everyday life. Since launching the ministry in 2014, Brittany has reached millions of women through articles, Bible studies, books, and online resources. She and her husband are raising four children together.

Resources Mentioned

• Fall in Love with God's Word by Brittany Ann https://a.co/d/000kPB4D

• https://equippinggodlywomen.com/

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Summary:

Boys and men are struggling—but this isn't a reason to lose hope. In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff unpack what's happening in today's culture, why so many boys and young men are falling behind, and the simple, powerful ways each of us can make a difference. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, mentor, teacher, or friend, you'll come away with practical encouragement and renewed hope for the boys and men you love.

Resources and Links:

Nancy Pearcy “The Toxic War on Masculinity”

https://a.co/d/05CJjqrE

Hannah Rosin, The End of Men essay in The Atlantic

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/the-end-of-men/308135/

“If We Were Ants” short film

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FX23DMyzvHE

Pew Research -Public Views on Men and Masculinity

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/10/17/public-views-on-men-and-masculinity/

APA Guidelines on practice with boys and men

https://www.apa.org/about/policy/boys-men-practice-guidelines.pdf

Data tables:

Reading scores of 4th, 8th and 12th grade students – see Figure 5, 6, 7

https://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/indicator/cnb/reading-performance

College enrollment of men v women

https://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/pdf/2024/cpb_508c.pdf

https://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d22/tables/dt22_303.10.asp

Bureau of Labor Statistics about men and women in the workforce:

https://www.bls.gov/charts/employment-situation/civilian-labor-force-participation-rate.htm

Mortality data:

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db456.htm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FX23DMyzvHE

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Summary:

In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with author, counselor, and father-daughter relationship expert Michelle Watson Canfield to explore one of the most challenging seasons of parenting: connecting with adolescent daughters.

Many dads feel uncertain about how to respond when their daughters become more emotional, pull away, or seem resistant to their efforts. Michelle shares a powerful insight she has observed through years of counseling: many men would rather do nothing than risk doing it wrong—but when it comes to fathering daughters, stepping back often creates more distance.

Together, Shaunti, Jeff, and Michelle unpack why dads often feel sidelined during the teenage years, how mothers can become caught in the middle, and practical ways fathers can stay engaged even when conversations feel awkward or difficult.

You’ll learn:

• Why many dads instinctively pull back—and why that can be harmful

• How to stay calm and grounded when emotions run high

• Practical ways to pursue your daughter with intention and consistency

• Why your presence matters more than your perfection

• How to build trust and connection during the adolescent years

If you've ever felt unsure how to connect with your daughter—or worried that you're getting it wrong—this conversation will equip and encourage you to keep showing up.

Because your daughter doesn't need a perfect dad. She needs an engaged one.

Links and Resources:

Website: drmichellewatson.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/drmichellewatson

Instagram: michellejwatson and thedadwhispererpodcast

Twitter: @mwatsonphd

LinkedIn: Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield

The Dad Whisperer Podcast: Apple Podcasts + Spotify

YouTube: @thedadwhisperer

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SUMMARY: What happens when a marriage starts drifting apart — and one or both spouses wonder if it’s even possible to reconnect?

In this honest and hope-filled conversation, and sit down with author, speaker, and podcast host to talk about the quiet disconnection many couples experience and the practical ways healing can begin — even when things feel broken.

Drawing from Lindsey’s personal story and her new book Don’t Burn Down the House, this episode explores:

• Why many marriages slowly drift into “roommate mode”

• What often causes emotional disconnection beneath the surface

• How resentment and hopelessness quietly build

• Why change can begin even if only one spouse is willing

• The small shifts that can create major transformation

• How to prioritize your marriage without losing yourself

• What rebuilding trust and connection really looks like

If you’ve ever felt discouraged, lonely, unseen, or unsure whether your marriage can recover, this conversation offers practical wisdom and genuine hope.

LINKS AND RESOURCES: Book: Don't Burn Your Own House Down: Prioritizing Your Marriage, Your Spouse, and Yourself for a Deeper Connection: Maestas, Lindsey: 9780310369479: Amazon.com: Books

Website: HOME - Sparrows + Lily

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Summary: In this powerful episode of I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with author, speaker, and ministry leader Willow Weston to explore what it means to truly heal from hurt instead of hiding from it. Together, they unpack how unresolved pain can surface in anxiety, broken relationships, unforgiveness, and emotional exhaustion—and why healing begins when we stop running from our wounds and bring them honestly before God.

Willow shares her personal story, the heart behind her ministry Collide, and insights from her new book about embracing pain as part of the pathway to restoration and deeper connection. This conversation offers encouragement for anyone carrying hidden hurt, walking through disappointment, or longing to experience emotional and spiritual healing.

You’ll hear:

• Why unprocessed pain often “comes out sideways”
• How honesty and vulnerability open the door to healing
• The role faith and community play in restoration
• Encouragement for those feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or emotionally exhausted
• Hope for healing not only for ourselves, but also for the people we love

If you’ve ever wondered whether real healing is possible, this episode is a reminder that God meets us in our pain—and that hope and restoration are closer than we think.

Links and Resources:

Book: Collide

Website: https://wecollide.net/staff/willow-weston/

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SUMMARY:

In this episode of I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with licensed professional counselor and bestselling author Debra Fileta for an honest and insightful conversation about the relationship blind spots many of us don’t realize we have. Together, they explore how emotional patterns, past wounds, and unrecognized habits can quietly shape the way we connect with others.

Debra shares practical wisdom on how to grow in self-awareness, strengthen communication, and take ownership of the ways we impact the people we love. Whether you’re dating, married, leading others, or simply wanting healthier relationships, this episode offers hope-filled tools to help you break unhealthy cycles and build deeper connection.

If you’ve ever wondered why relationships can feel harder than they should—or how to become a healthier version of yourself—this conversation is for you.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

Book: People Skills: Your Relationships Are Only as Strong as Your Skills

Website: Debra Fileta | Best Selling Author, Speaker, Psychotherapist, and Podcaster!

The Kindness Challenge

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