"I Couldn't Even Hold the Can" - Rock Bottom in Cleveland | Addiction to Restoration Part 2
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Part 2 of Zach's story takes us from losing his hospital job to homelessness on the streets of Cleveland. This episode shows how addiction's progressive nature destroys everything - even when your father is SWAT and your uncle runs the team that arrests you.
Key moments:
0:00 - The hospital emergency: Physicians' calls going nowhere
0:46 - "In typical Zach fashion, it can never be my fault"
1:32 - Showing up to work still drunk, reeking of booze
2:26 - The milk analogy: "I've never missed work from drinking too much milk"
2:50 - Chris on self-hatred and finding good men
4:20 - Father in police/SWAT for 30 years - the irony begins
5:23 - Benzos and alcohol: "Like a pill form of alcohol"
6:08 - EMT graduation celebration turns into The Hangover
7:04 - 3 AM in a drag strip car through residential streets
7:57 - "Do you know so-and-so? That's my uncle" - Gets arrested anyway
9:06 - Parents' ultimatum: Rehab or get out
9:51 - "This hasn't happened to me YET" - The dangerous word
10:42 - White knuckling 30 days, then relapse
11:22 - Moving to uncle's house in "the hood of Cleveland"
12:10 - Drinking before work, during work, shaking so bad couldn't hold the can
12:41 - Homeless on Cleveland streets: "All I had to do was be clean"
The progression is undeniable: from rationalizing with "I'm just a college kid" to shaking so badly he couldn't physically drink. Zach's father and uncles were all in law enforcement, yet even family connections couldn't stop the consequences.
Most powerful moment: "Most people would say, there's your sign. I went, no, it's whatever."
The rehab seed was planted but didn't grow immediately. White knuckling without a program led right back to drinking all day, every day.
Chris drops his own truth: addiction came from self-hatred, needing to do something to feel comfortable in his own skin. The solution? Finding a good group of men who knew him over years.
Part 3 coming next week: What finally turns on the lights?
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