This week on News with Christian Vierling: a nation united by diarrhea, a Disney adult in the family, and men's obsession with supplements.

We cover the Taco Bell outbreak, declining birth rates, the American literacy crisis, Elon Musk saying money's over — and then say the exact wrong thing about all of it.

Christian promises you three things: no integrity, no morals, and no one left un-thrown under the bus. This is **Negative Positivity** — self-help for people who probably shouldn't be helping themselves.

You'll laugh. You'll heal. You'll wonder why you're being parented by a 29-year-old who sleep-orders donuts.

⚠️ **THIS IS A NEWS PARODY.** It is NOT the news. Nothing here is real reporting, medical advice, financial advice, or advice of any kind. If you took any of it seriously, that's a you problem, and we love you for it. ♥

Love yourself today. Practice forgiveness. Envision yourself as the true motherf**king bad bitch that you are.

**New episodes weekly.**

⏱️ **CHAPTERS**

0:00 — I had a weapon and I said "give me a show"
2:28 — America has diarrhea and we stand with Taco Bell
5:04 — I interviewed a Disney adult (it was my sister)
10:44 — It's not your fault, it's the moon
14:13 — You're not low on magnesium, you're just abusive
16:54 — Declining birth rates & why kids shouldn't fly
19:44 — Summer of the Shark
24:59 — Guillain-Barré, BBLs & is God gay?
31:22 — Elon Musk says money's over, so what are we doing
32:28 — The literacy crisis (a Target case study)
36:57 — Blame the millennials
37:43 — I sleep-ordered donuts at 3AM and grabbed a bat
41:45 — Love yourself, good night

📎 Clip it, don't credit it, we'll find out anyway.

🎥 **Christian Vierling:** @christianvierling
🎬 **Produced by Wow and Flutter Media**

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