What if the most popular self-help advice is actually making us feel worse?
In this raw and illuminating episode of Human Not Hacked, Amy and Jillian pull back the glossy curtain on the phrases that have been quietly gaslighting an entire generation of seekers, coaches, and wellness enthusiasts. From “everything happens for a reason” to “high vibes only” to “you attract what you are,” they unpack ten of the most common self-help clichés — the ones that sound empowering on Instagram, but end up invalidating real human experience.
Together, they explore how trauma, chronic stress, and systemic bias make these messages especially harmful. You’ll hear why “positive vibes only” spaces often backfire for trauma survivors; why “manifestation” isn’t a measure of moral worth; and how phrases like “you chose this on a soul level” or “forgive and move on” can become spiritual bypassing in disguise.
In the episode, they break down:
✨ What some phrases actually do to the nervous system.
✨ Why some phrases continue to persist in coaching and wellness culture even when we know better.
✨ What to say or do instead of using these phrases — language that honors truth and supports real healing.
This conversation isn’t anti-growth — it’s anti-gaslight.
Amy and Jillian bring their decades of trauma-informed coaching experience to help you unlearn the toxic positivity that keeps people doubting their own pain and rediscover what authentic healing really looks like: nuance, compassion, and full permission to be human.
They also share practical tools for what to do when someone tosses one of these “good vibes only” lines your way — how to pause, stay grounded, and protect your truth when others can’t hold it yet.
By the end, you’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of what real care sounds like in your self-talk, your relationships, and your leadership...and why collective care, not performative positivity, is the future of healing.
💛 Because you’re not broken. You never were.
👉 Listen now and subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next. And if this episode resonates, please leave a 5-star review—it helps others find the show and join the conversation.
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ABOUT THE HOSTS
Amy Lombardo is the founder of the Brilliance Coaching Academy and author of the award-winning book Brilliance. With more than 25 years of experience as a coach, leadership mentor, and yoga teacher, Amy weaves together somatic practices, deep listening, and inclusive leadership tools to guide people into authentic transformation. Her work is rooted in the belief that each of us has an inner brilliance waiting to be expressed—and that when we nurture it, we change not only our own lives but the world around us.
Jillian Arena is a holistic life coach, founder of Intuitive Balance Coaching, and an alumna of the Brilliance Coaching Academy. She brings together coaching, Reiki, yoga, and end-of-life doula work to help people move through transitions with compassion, humor, and presence. Jillian’s style is both grounding and expansive, empowering clients to embrace the full spectrum of being human.
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BRILLIANCE COACHING ACADEMY
Want to go deeper into this work? Explore the Brilliance Coaching Academy—a trauma-aware, equity-centered coach-training program led by Amy Lombardo and Jillian Arena. It’s more than certification; it’s a living laboratory for conscious leadership, embodied transformation, and meaningful impact. Apply Now at https://coach-brilliance.com/.
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BRILLIANCE COLLECTIVE APP
Both Amy and Jillian are also guides inside the Brilliance Collective App—a space for growth and connection. It’s where daily inspiration meets real practice, where you can return to yourself in small, meaningful ways. Think of it as your pocket-sized invitation to pause and remember your brilliance anytime and anywhere.
MORE RESOURCES ON THE BRILLIANCE COLLECTIVE APP
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