How's Your Ma: Episode 9 (Jackie support and survival pt2)

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How's Your Ma: Episode 9 (Jackie support and survival pt2)

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In this raw and deeply moving second part of Jackie's story, Orla, Leanne and Jackie pick up where they left off — and what follows is one of the most honest and courageous conversations the pod has had.Jackie takes us through the moment she discovered she was pregnant with Abby, and the immediate unravelling of Tony's mask — from "that's what we always wanted" to "I don't believe you're pregnant" within days. What should have been a time of joy became another chapter of coercive control, fear, and isolation, compounded by the devastating news at Jackie's 20-week scan that her baby had a serious heart condition. Abby was born with a complex congenital heart defect — her organs on the wrong side, her heart with only two chambers and a large hole between them — and was rushed straight to Crumlin Children's Hospital from birth. Jackie describes the terror of bringing a medically fragile baby home with a 50% chance of not making it to her first birthday, learning CPR at the hospital door, and doing it all largely alone while living in fear of Abby's father.As Abby grew, so did the abuse — escalating to the night Tony picked Jackie up and threw her across the room in front of Abby, telling her he would have her killed. That was Jackie's light bulb moment. She talks about the court process, the safety orders that were just pieces of paper to him, the guards who didn't take her seriously, and the slow, painful road to finally getting out. She also opens up about eventually finding support through Aoibhneas domestic violence services, being diagnosed with PTSD, and what it felt like to finally have her experience validated.Jackie also speaks about her mother — learning at her deathbed that she likely had autism, and the grief and guilt that came a year later when everything finally made sense. And she speaks about her father, whom she cared for despite everything, and who told her she wasn't his.This is an episode about survival — not just Jackie's, but Abby's. Today, Abby has finished a PLC with nine distinctions, is clued in, strong, and thriving. And Jackie, living in a beautiful little cottage by the sea, is a very different woman — one who doesn't take shit, points out red flags, and has her hand out to anyone who needs it.Her closing words to anyone still in it: Don't ignore the red flags. Don't be afraid to talk. Believe in the experience that you're having.Timecodes00:00 – Intro: Leanne and Orla welcome listeners back for Part 2 of Jackie's story00:25 – Recap: picking up from Part 1, moving into Abby's arrival and life from there00:58 – Jackie calls Tony the moment she finds out she's pregnant — and wonders to this day why she did01:19 – Tony's reaction: "That's what we always wanted" — followed within days by "I don't believe you're pregnant"02:08 – Why Jackie didn't leave: living in constant fear, the body going into autopilot every time he walked through the door02:51 – The roller coaster of Tony's responses to the pregnancy; and Jackie's sister passing away in the middle of it all03:36 – The 20-week scan: the nurse takes too long, asks Jackie to come back — and Jackie's gut knows immediately something is wrong04:48 – Returning for the follow-up scan: brought into a different room, a specialist, a team — "There's something wrong with your baby"05:24 – The diagnosis: a serious heart condition, possibly linked to Down syndrome — Jackie's response: "I don't care if my baby has Down syndrome, I need to know if she'll live"05:40 – Tony's reaction on finding out it's a girl: visible disgust — his only priority was a boy06:32 – Scans at Crumlin Children's Hospital throughout the pregnancy; the surreal terror of being in a children's hospital before Abby is even born07:13 – The cardiologist's bleak prognosis: Abby's organs on the wrong side, liver midline, heart central, two chambers with a large hole between them08:05 – Jackie hiding away during the pregnancy, talking to Abby every day, willing her to just get through08:41 – Abby goes into distress a week before her due date; emergency C-section09:23 – Abby is born — purple, a mop of jet black hair, gorgeous — and immediately taken to Crumlin09:44 – Jackie, post-surgery and unable to walk, left alone in a hospital room while Abby fights for life; Tony's family never once makes contact10:41 – A control call from Tony's ex while Jackie is lying there unable to move — she cuts it short11:32 – The next morning: Jackie discharges herself against medical advice to get to Crumlin; the first time she gets to touch Abby12:21 – Crumlin: emergency blessings, Prostin to keep Abby's arteries open, MRI scans12:53 – Abby's first open-heart surgery at three days old; Jackie describes seeing her baby connected to tubes, unrecognisable13:33 – The abuse never stopped during the pregnancy — always there under the surface; keeping Tony happy just to survive14:10 – Tony thriving off Abby's illness ...

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