『How to Listen to Your Anger Without Losing Your Softness. Ep.| 64』のカバーアート

How to Listen to Your Anger Without Losing Your Softness. Ep.| 64

How to Listen to Your Anger Without Losing Your Softness. Ep.| 64

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概要

 In high-conflict or "stuck" marriages, women often spend a massive amount of "emotional currency" trying to get their partners to see, hear, or value them. If you are in the 'Angry Phase,' don't apologize for it. It is the fire that is forging your new sword. This episode is on 'Why Soft-Hearted Women Reach Their Limit Too—and Why You Shouldn’t Ignore It'. Thank You! For listening. ⁠I’m Mav ‘Yemi⁠, a Psychotherapist, Relationship & Marriage Counsellor and Faith -Based Coach Stop living like roommates and start thriving as partners. This podcast is designed for women, couples and individuals seeking a deeper, more professional approach to relationships and marriage. We address the root causes of rejection, anxiety, and the "losing strategies" that keep couples stuck in cycles of disharmony. If you are ready to break painful patterns in your parenting or your relationships, you are in the right place. Grounded in faith and over a decade of clinical experience, we share the techniques and insights needed to restore trust and rediscover emotional intimacy. Move forward with the confidence that your relationship can be a place of hope and healing once again. WHAT NEXT? 📌Work with me 1:1: book a session: ⁠Book Here⁠ ✅ Get resources⁠ for guidance and healing from past wounds and finding clarity and purpose. ✅ Order my new book, Beyond the Hurt. ⁠E-book ⁠ and ⁠Paper back⁠ ✅Please leave a comment/review, subscribe/follow and share. ✅ ⁠ email⁠ - contact@wholesomecounselling.com ✅ Book a 1:1 Coaching Call if you’re ready to dive deeper into your healing journey. ⁠https://marveladeyemi.com.au/⁠ Feeling like roommates? I help women and couples in Ballarat and globally move from disconnection to deep partnership. Through Relational Therapy and faith-led wisdom, we heal the inner patterns holding your marriage back. Transform your relationship without losing your edge. Book your online session today. 📢Disclaimer: I share content from my reflections for educational purpose only and should not replace professional therapy. If you need immediate support, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional. TRANSCRIPT Why is it that someone who has spent years being kind, accommodating, patient, forgiving, and endlessly understanding… suddenly becomes angry, reactive, rigid, or even entitled once they start setting boundaries? People around them often say: “You’ve changed.” And honestly? Sometimes they have. But not always in the way people think. Sometimes what we’re witnessing is not a person becoming cruel. It’s a person finally becoming visible. Today I want to unpack: why formerly boundaryless people often swing into anger why resentment can suddenly explode after years of silence the difference between healthy boundaries and punishment and how people can move from emotional over-functioning into grounded self-respect without becoming hardened. This conversation is especially important for people healing from: emotionally unequal relationships codependency chronic people pleasing emotionally unavailable partners family enmeshment and long-term self-abandonment. Let’s get into it. PART 1 — THE PERSON WHO NEVER HAD BOUNDARIES Many people who struggle with boundaries were not taught that their needs mattered. They learned very early that love was earned through: caretaking accommodating keeping the peace staying quiet not being “too much” or managing other people’s emotions. So they become incredibly adaptive. They become the one who: understands everybody forgives everybody waits patiently explains away bad behaviour keeps relationships functioning. But underneath that adaptation is often a tremendous amount of grief. And eventually something happens. The body gets tired. The nervous system becomes exhausted. The person starts realising: “I’ve spent years showing up for everyone else while abandoning myself.” That awareness changes everything. Now here’s where things get interesting. The first version of boundaries is rarely calm. I want people to really hear this. The first version of boundaries often comes out: angry rigid emotionally loaded reactive and sometimes even entitled. Why? Because this person is not only learning boundaries. They are also releasing years of: suppressed resentment hurt exhaustion invisibility disappointment humiliation and emotional loneliness. That anger didn’t appear overnight. It accumulated quietly over years. PART 2 — THE OVERCORRECTION PHASE When someone has spent years in self-abandonment, the nervous system often overcorrects. They swing from: “I never matter.” To: “Now it’s all about me.” And this is where many people become confused. They think: “Maybe boundaries are making me selfish.” Not necessarily. Often what’s happening is the person has not yet learned how to hold boundaries calmly. They only know two states:...
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