Midlife changes more than hormones — it shifts identity, intimacy, energy, and confidence.

In this episode of Bloom from the Broken, Aussprey speaks directly to women navigating perimenopause, decreased sexual desire, exhaustion, and the tension between career and home life.

This is not shame-based.
This is not panic-driven.

It’s grounded, honest, and steady.

If you’ve been wondering whether something is wrong with you — this conversation is for you.

Join the Bloom email list for episode updates:
https://tinyurl.com/BloomSeason2

Show Notes

• What perimenopause actually does to hormones
• Why spontaneous desire often decreases
• Responsive desire explained
• Working women vs. stay-at-home identity tension
• The psychological layer of libido
• Emotional safety and intimacy
• Releasing shame around midlife sexuality
• Practical steps for recalibration

Tonight’s episode feels a little different.

I’ve been searching my heart about this one.

We live in an age where pain is often managed instead of understood — where sorrow is medicated faster than it is explored.

I take antidepressants. I have for decades. I need them.

So this is not an anti-medication rant. It’s a layered conversation.

In this episode, I talk about childhood trauma, nervous system imprinting, midlife shifts, Scripture, discernment, and the tension between stabilization and restoration.

Medication can be wise. It can save lives. It can steady a storm.

But it cannot rewrite history.

Instead of asking “What’s wrong with her?”
What if we asked “What happened to her?”

I genuinely want your thoughts.

Have antidepressants helped you?
Stabilized you long enough to heal?
Masked something deeper?
Are you in the tension right now?

Let’s have the grown conversation.

⚠️ If you are in crisis or experiencing suicidal thoughts, please seek immediate professional support in your area.

Christmas comes with twinkle lights, cinnamon, crowded stores, half-wrapped gifts, and the uncanny ability to make women feel like we’re supposed to pull off magic while running on two hours of sleep and one functioning adrenal gland. But beneath the chaos, beneath the glitter, beneath the performance, there’s a quieter story — one we forget even as we celebrate it.

This special Christmas episode of Cougar Puberty is called “No Room,” and it’s a deep dive into the real heart of the season. Not the curated version. Not the Pinterest-perfect one. The human one. The holy one. The one that actually matters.

We go back to that first Christmas night — not the sanitized one with golden halos and clean straw — but the real one. A cold evening. A terrified young woman in pain. A man doing everything he can and feeling like he’s failing anyway. A town too busy, too full, too distracted to notice that the miracle they’d prayed for was right outside their doors. Every innkeeper repeats the same weary chorus: “Sorry… no room.”

And yet, the sacred still arrived.

Not in a palace.

Not in a warm bed.

Not in a place prepared or polished.

But in a stable — a place no one would’ve chosen, a place no one made space for, a place that smelled like animals and disappointment.

This episode is about that kind of Christmas.

The messy one.

The tired one.

The grief-shadowed one.

The one where you’re doing your best and it still feels like not enough.

Because the truth is… the first Christmas wasn’t perfect either.

It was chaotic and uncomfortable — and holy anyway.

In this long-form reflection, we talk honestly about:

Why so many of us feel emotionally crowded out at Christmas

How the busiest time of year leaves the least room for anything sacred

Why the real Christmas story gives permission for our lives to be messy

How “no room” is still the phrase echoing through modern hearts

What it actually means to make spiritual or emotional space

Why God tends to show up in places we’d never choose

And how even a single quiet moment can make room for something beautiful

We explore what it means to carry pain, exhaustion, grief, estrangement, or overwhelm into a season that demands sparkle — and why the real miracle of Christmas isn’t that we make room… but that heaven does.

This episode is slower, softer, and deeper than our usual chaos here on Cougar Puberty. Think of it like slipping into a quiet church after a long day, breathing in candle smoke and pine, and remembering that you are allowed to rest. You are allowed to be honest. You are allowed to exist without performing.

And if your life feels too full right now…

If your heart feels crowded or tired…

If your December feels nothing like a holiday card…

Then, you are closer to the first Christmas than you realize.

Take a breath.

Light a candle.

Let this episode be your moment — your small corner of quiet.

Because sometimes, the miracle begins with simply whispering:

“Here I am.

Here’s my mess.

You’re welcome in it.”

Merry Christmas, darling.

Let’s make room — even just a little — for something holy to slip in.

Welcome back to The Hot Flash Files: After Dark — where the lighting is dim, the hormones are loud, and the only thing hotter than our core temperature is our intolerance for nonsense. Tonight’s episode earns its medal in a category every woman over thirty-five should qualify for: The Mood Swing Olympics.

If you’ve ever gone from “I love everyone” to “no one speak to me or I will start swinging” in the exact time it takes to preheat an air fryer… congratulations. You’re already a top-tier athlete.

In this episode we’re diving headfirst into the sport we never signed up for — the emotional track-and-field events of womanhood. The sudden tears for no reason? That’s the 100-meter Freestyle Cry. The irrational rage when someone chews too loudly? Synchronized Annoyance. The way you can go from soft, nurturing angel to “WHO MOVED MY MUG?” in 0.2 seconds? Honey… that’s the Emotional Vault. Perfect landing, 10/10.

And because this is After Dark, we’re keeping it honest. These mood swings? They’re not about being dramatic. They’re about the hormonal Hunger Games our bodies keep hosting without our permission. Menopause, perimenopause, stress, raising kids, aging parents, family drama, the mental load, the invisible load, the load nobody notices but you’re somehow expected to carry anyway — it all stacks up. No wonder we snap like a breadstick sometimes.

We’ll talk about:
• why your brain suddenly decides to play the “Let’s Cry!” theme song at random
• how one offhand comment can ruin your afternoon AND your appetite
• why your patience disappears faster than your skincare budget
• how to communicate with the people you love without setting anything on fire
• and why Raine the Cat is absolutely not helping, because she thinks she’s the referee of your entire emotional schedule

We’re laughing through it, because the alternative is hiding under a weighted blanket until further notice.
But there’s truth tucked inside the humor.
You’re not broken. You’re not “too much.”
Your body is running a gauntlet while you still show up for your family, your work, your goals, and your sanity.
That’s not weakness — that’s grit.

So grab your cozy blanket, pour your night-time tea (or your “medicinal” wine — hey, no judgment), scoop up your cat if she’ll allow it, and join us for a night that feels like venting with your best friend who refuses to lie to you.

If you enjoy this episode, take five seconds and follow, rate, and share. It helps more women find this little corner of chaos where we laugh, relate, and survive together.

Welcome to the games.
And may the mood be ever in your favor.

Some women stay because everyone expects them to. Some women keep the job, keep the role, keep the persona—even when it’s draining the life right out of them. But every now and then, someone does the unthinkable. Someone looks at the biggest opportunity of her career, the thing everyone else swears they’d die for, and says…
“Actually, no. I choose me.”

Tonight on Hot Flash Files: After Dark, we’re talking about Julianna Margulies—and the night she shocked Hollywood by walking away from the biggest paycheck any TV actress had ever been offered. She was beloved on ER, she had the fame, she had the momentum, and she had a contract so padded it practically glowed. But she also had something else: a quiet truth clawing for oxygen.

We explore the moment she realized she was losing herself inside a character who never left her head. The pressure. The burnout. The way everyone else saw a dream, while she felt the walls closing in. And then that final offer hit her desk—millions, prestige, security, everything the industry worships. Except she saw the cost… and refused to pay it.

And that is where this episode hits home for me personally.

Because I’ve made that choice too.
I walked away from a job that promised me a promotion, a stable ladder, and a future I was “supposed” to want. But my mental and physical health were waving the white flag, and for once in my life… I listened. And I don’t regret it—not even for a minute. Leaving gave me space to rebuild myself from the ground up. I set real boundaries. I got my life back. I spent more time with the people I love. I became a certified nail technician, a certified massage therapist, and then dared to follow the quiet dream I’d always pushed aside: writing. I poured myself into Coastal Glow, built something of my own from home, on my time, in my way. And with the support of my husband—my partner in every sense—I’m now living the life I once thought was too impractical, too risky, too slow to pay the bills. Turns out… it was exactly the life I needed.

So yes, this story of Julianna choosing herself?
It’s personal.
It’s universal.
And it’s long overdue for a conversation.

We also talk about what happened after her leap—the fear that shows up the morning after a big decision… and the quiet peace that walks in right behind it. And then, the twist: how choosing herself didn’t end her career but transformed it. The Good Wife didn’t just revive her reputation—it cemented her as one of the most commanding performers of her generation.

This episode is for every woman who stayed too long, carried too much, or second-guessed herself while everyone else confidently steered her life for her. It’s for the ones who walked away—or the ones who still fantasize about it. It’s for anyone learning that self-preservation is not selfishness… it’s wisdom.

So grab a tea… a glass of wine… or the emergency chocolate stash you hide from the family. Get cozy.
Let’s talk about the power of saying no, the freedom of choosing yourself, and the life that starts when you finally step out of everyone else’s expectations.

✨ Follow the show so you never miss a late-night deep dive.
✨ And if you’re already part of this After Dark crew… thank you for coming back.

Welcome to Hot Flash Files: After Dark—where the truth comes out when the world gets quiet.

And if you're interested in my books, they can be found here

Welcome back to The Hot Flash Files: After Dark, where we talk about the parts of womanhood nobody had the courage—or the good sense—to warn us about.
In Episode Two, we dive headfirst into the slow-motion hormonal car crash lovingly known as Cougar Puberty… also known as Puberty 2.0, The Midlife Reboot, or Why am I crying and also enraged and also craving nachos at 10 a.m.?

If you thought the first round of puberty was rough, buckle up.
Midlife said, “Hold my wine. I can do worse.”

This episode is for every woman who has looked in the mirror and said, “Who the hell is she?”
For every sudden mood swing that could take out an entire village.
For every newfound urge to reinvent your life, cut your hair, buy a leather jacket, start weightlifting, or flirt with your barista even though you only wanted a latte.

Inside this chaotic, hilarious, way-too-real conversation, we dig into:

🔥 The Hormonal Reboot Nobody Ordered:
Why your body has decided to revisit your teenage years—minus the fun metabolism and plus the chin hairs.

🔥 The Emotional Rollercoaster:
One minute you’re serene and soulful… and the next you’re throwing shade like a Real Housewife who’s finally snapped.

🔥 The Identity Crisis:
Why midlife makes you question everything—your job, your marriage, your body, your friends, your purpose… and why it’s actually a GOOD thing.

🔥 The Wild Confidence Surge:
Or as we lovingly call it, the “I no longer care what anyone thinks and I’ll wear whatever I want” era.

🔥 The Libido Plot Twist:
Sometimes up, sometimes down, sometimes sideways.
Sometimes “Don’t touch me,” sometimes “Text your husband to bring snacks because we’re going to be here a while.”

🔥 The Brain Fog:
Losing your keys, losing your sentence mid-sentence, losing the will to pretend you’re okay with anything you’re actually not okay with.

🔥 The Physical Symptoms:
The bloating, the sweating, the cravings, the “why does my body hurt like I just fought a grizzly bear?” mornings.

🔥 The Rebirth:
Because underneath the chaos, something powerful is happening:
You’re becoming the raw, fearless, fully-opened version of yourself.

By the time we’re done, you’ll understand why midlife feels like you’re growing new emotional limbs, melting down for no reason, reinventing yourself between loads of laundry, and wondering why teenagers get all the hall passes when YOU’RE clearly going through the more advanced version.

This isn’t a crisis.
It’s a re-foundation.
A leveling-up.
A wild, liberating, messy return to the woman you always were—before the world told you who you needed to be.

So pour a drink, get comfortable, and settle in for a ride that’s equal parts therapy, comedy, and hormonal chaos.

Welcome to Cougar Puberty—
Puberty 2.0.
The Remix.
The Era of Absolutely No Filters.

And as always…
stay hydrated, stay dangerous, and don’t trust your mood for at least two more business days.

Welcome to the Hot Flash Files After Dark… the show where hormones are high, patience is low, and the thoughts we never admit to finally get their time in the spotlight. Tonight we are diving headfirst into intrusive thoughts… the call of the void… those sudden little brain flashes that show up out of nowhere and make you question whether you should be allowed in public without supervision.

You know the ones.

One minute you are minding your business… trying to be a functioning adult… and the next your brain is like… what if you yeeted the laundry basket off the deck… just to watch it soar like a majestic plastic bird.

Or you light a candle, trying to be peaceful and romantic for no one but yourself… and your brain whispers… blow it out with your hair… go on… be a human blowtorch… who needs eyebrows anyway.

Maybe you are cleaning the kitchen and grab your essential oils… the lavender… the peppermint… the ones influencers swear will realign your entire life… and your brain casually suggests… drink it… take a shot… become a peppermint infused ghost story.

And then… we get to the mother of all intrusive thoughts. The Thanksgiving special. You are at the table… passing the mashed potatoes… doing your best to be civil… and suddenly your brain says… tell off your mother in law… do it… say the sentence you have rehearsed in the shower for a decade.

And instantly you break into a stress sweat because you would never actually do it… but the fact that your brain even whispered the idea feels like you committed a small emotional crime.

These strange… dramatic… slightly unhinged thoughts do not mean you are broken. They do not mean you want to do anything wild or dangerous. They are simply your brain running quick little simulations… stress tests… nonsense scenarios… usually when you are hormonal… overwhelmed… overstimulated… or three seconds away from losing your mind because someone chewed too loudly.

In this episode we talk about why these thoughts happen… why they are more common in midlife… why women who have survived a lot tend to experience them more intensely… and why the call of the void is actually a sign of a very alive… very aware… very human brain. We unpack the science in a way that is comforting… not clinical… and we laugh about the intrusive thoughts that almost took us down this week.

Because if there is one thing we all know by now… it is that womanhood comes with a nervous system that refuses to be quiet. And somehow… talking about it together makes it feel a whole lot lighter.

Thank you for being here… for showing up in this late night space… for laughing… for breathing… for letting yourself feel human. If this episode made you feel seen… or normal… or less alone in the chaos that lives inside your head… come back again. There is always more to unravel… more to laugh about… and more to share in the dark hours when the world quiets down and our thoughts get loud.

Until next time… this has been the Hot Flash Files After Dark… and you are always welcome here.

Welcome to The Hot Flash Files: After Dark — where we celebrate the women history tried to silence, underestimate, or shove into a pretty little box… and then act shocked when those same women end up changing the entire world.

Tonight, we’re talking about a woman who was so far ahead of her time, she basically lived in the twenty-first century while everyone around her was still wiping their mouths with lace napkins and calling women “darling.”
Her name? Hedy Lamarr.

The world called her the most beautiful woman alive — which is adorable considering she was also one of the sharpest scientific minds of her generation. Hollywood loved her face; the military ignored her brain; men underestimated her… and she still managed to help invent the backbone of modern wireless communication.
As in: your Wi-Fi, your Bluetooth, your GPS — all rooted in an idea she came up with before most of the men around her learned to tie their shoes.

But let’s start at the beginning.

Before she was Hedy Lamarr, she was Hedwig Kiesler, a brilliant Austrian Jewish girl raised on science, mathematics, and a whole lot of quiet observation. She became infamous at seventeen after starring in the 1933 film Ecstasy, which caused so much scandal that Mussolini literally refused to hand over his personal copy.

While the world obsessed over her beauty, she was busy absorbing information like a sponge.
And then she married Friedrich Mandl — one of Austria’s wealthiest arms dealers. Controlling, possessive, politically connected, and sitting at dinner tables with Hitler, Mussolini, and half the rising fascist regime.

They thought she was decoration.
She wasn’t.
She sat there quietly, listening to technical breakdowns of radio-guided torpedoes, frequency vulnerabilities, and wireless interception like she was attending a masterclass.

When the marriage became unbearable, she didn’t cry into silk pillows — she escaped. Disguised as her own maid. With jewelry sewn into her clothes. As one does.

From there, she reinvented herself in Hollywood. The world swooned; the studios worshipped her; she delivered some of the most iconic performances of the era…
But her mind never stopped working.

When she heard Allied ships were being destroyed because enemies could jam the radio signals guiding torpedoes, she remembered those dinner conversations… and she started building a solution.

Her idea?
Make the signal jump between multiple frequencies so fast the enemy couldn’t jam it.

She teamed up with avant-garde composer George Antheil — a man who synchronized twelve player pianos for fun — and together they created a “frequency hopping” system. In August nineteen forty-two, they were awarded U.S. Patent No. 2,292,387.

The Navy said, “Cute… but no thanks.”
Because of course they did.

But decades later — when the world needed secure, stable, jam-proof communication — engineers circled right back to her design. And today? Every time you use Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, or GPS… you’re using Hedy Lamarr’s brainchild.

History called her a bombshell.
Turns out she was the bomb.

Tonight, we’re raising a glass (and probably our body temperature) to Hedy — the woman who proved you can be brilliant, underestimated, breathtaking, dismissed, and STILL reshape the world in ways the men who doubted you couldn’t imagine.

Because here in The Hot Flash Files: After Dark, we celebrate women who outsmarted everyone… and didn’t apologize for it.