In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson is joined by Caroline Maguire, an ADHD and executive function coach and author of Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults. They discuss friendship, social anxiety, and how neurodivergent kids and teens can build more authentic relationships without feeling pressured to hide or “mask” who they are.

In this episode, they cover:

• What masking is and how it can affect kids’ mental health
• Why getting support for social skills doesn’t mean people need to abandon their authentic selves
• How black-and-white thinking can make social situations feel more painful
• How parents, clinicians, and coaches can help kids build confidence in relationships

Key takeaways

• Masking — hiding how you really feel — can help people get through social situations, but over time it may lead to anxiety, depression, people-pleasing, and disconnection from the self.

• Neuro-affirming social support should help kids and adults connect with others while still honoring their own needs, values, and personalities.

• Social mistakes are part of being human, and over-apologizing or repeatedly revisiting them can make anxiety worse.

• Black-and-white thinking can turn a mostly positive interaction into something that feels like a failure.

• Building authentic friendships often starts with understanding your own patterns, communicating your needs, and finding people who appreciate you as you are.

Further reading

Kids Who Need a Little Help to Make Friends
Helping Girls With ADHD Make Friends
What Is Neurodiversity?