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In this powerful conversation, recovery coach Tryan Stutes unpacks what he calls the “gap” in betrayal recovery—the often overlooked space between a man’s personal recovery and his partner’s healing process. While many men have access to structured resources like SAA, sponsors, and intensives, their partners are often left navigating deep emotional pain with fewer supports. Tryan shares how his work focuses on helping men develop true empathy, step out of defensiveness, and begin to feel the impact of their actions in a way that creates real connection. With both directness and care, he challenges men to move beyond surface-level recovery and into meaningful relational repair.

Tryan adds clarification to the term "True Warrior Inside.” He defines a warrior as an integrated man living out healthy masculinity as identity and values one who can lead, provide, and protect, including emotionally through nervous-system regulation, rigorous honesty, clean motives, accountability, and the ability to
hold space without defensiveness so trust can be rebuilt after
betrayal.

The episode walks through the stages of recovery—from early sobriety and disclosure to deeper work around underlying drivers, trauma, and long-term transformation. Tryan emphasizes that sobriety alone is not enough; lasting change comes from becoming a different kind of man—one who can engage in the work required to what he calls “Marriage 2.0.” Listeners will gain insight into why defensiveness blocks healing, how empathy can be developed, and what it takes to rebuild trust over time. This episode is a roadmap for moving from survival to true connection, grounded in honesty, responsibility, and the steady work of becoming a warrior with empathy.

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In this special April Fools episode, the script gets flipped as Lisa Eliason takes over the mic and puts Shane in the hot seat. What starts as a lighthearted role reversal quickly turns into a meaningful and honest conversation about the heart of Shane’s work—helping couples navigate betrayal, rebuild trust, and create deeper emotional connection. From the realities of working with sexual addiction and relationship trauma to what really happens in those first raw sessions after trust is broken, this episode pulls back the curtain on the work many couples never see.

Lisa guides the conversation into real talk about relationships, emotional safety, and the patterns that keep couples stuck, while also exploring the role of faith, healing, and Shane’s approach through Emotionally Focused Therapy. Whether you're a couple, an individual navigating trust and intimacy, or a therapist looking to grow, this episode offers practical insights, hope for repair, and a few unexpected laughs along the way.

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In this episode, Shane shares how emotional intimacy grows through the attachment lens of accessibility, reliability, and emotional engagement, inspired by Sue Johnson’s ARE model. He explores the powerful idea that intimacy means “In-To-Me-I-See,” inviting couples, friends, and family members to move beyond surface conversations and courageously share their inner emotional world. Listeners will learn practical ways to deepen connection through slowing down conversations, speaking from personal experience, regulating emotions before engaging, and practicing small moments of turning toward one another. Shane also offers thoughtful guidance on when vulnerability builds closeness — and when emotional safety may be lacking — helping listeners pursue deeper relationships with wisdom, courage, and compassion.

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In this episode, I sit down with sex therapist Dr. Lisa Elieson to explore how sexuality is far more than a physical act — it’s an expression of self and a creative language of love within marriage. Dr. Elieson shares how she integrates art into therapy to help couples better understand their sexual identity, emotional connection, and the deeper meaning behind intimacy. Together, we discuss how anxiety impacts sexual arousal, the different ways it tends to manifest for men and women, and how mindfulness practices can help calm the nervous system and create space for more authentic connection.

We also dive into one of the most common struggles couples face: sexual desire discrepancy — when one partner has higher desire and the other lower desire. I bring real-life challenges from my counseling practice into the conversation, inviting Dr. Elieson’s perspective on how couples can navigate these moments with empathy and curiosity rather than shame or pressure. The episode closes with a look at Dr. Elieson’s current projects and practical ways listeners can learn more about her work and connect with her.

Lisa is excited about two newly released books:

3 Core Communication skills, as well as, the 12 Types of Intimacy.

You can reach Dr. Eliason at

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In this episode, we review Cultivating Love: Wisdom for Life by Ken McGill, a practical and compassionate guide to growing wisdom and love throughout life. Drawing from psychology, theology, and neurobiology, McGill explores how wisdom can become compromised by trauma and maladaptive coping, and how it can be recalibrated through self-awareness, reparenting, and intentional growth. The book offers concrete tools for healing, strengthening self-love, and developing healthy adult behaviors such as empathy, boundaries, emotional regulation, and attunement. Ultimately, Cultivating Love invites readers to grow wiser, love more deeply, and live more skillfully in their relationships and daily lives.

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Welcome to 2026! We’re exploring this year’s theme—Love—what helps it grow and what causes it to fade. Drawing from relationship research, psychology, and spiritual wisdom, we highlight key qualities that strengthen love toward self and others—such as emotional availability, compassion, healthy boundaries, gratitude, accountability, and repair. We also discuss common habits that diminish love, including criticism, avoidance, shame, defensiveness, and neglect of personal needs. For those with a spiritual life, we reflect on how loving God through devotion, service, and integrity deepens self-worth, emotional regulation, and more loving relationships with others.

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In this solo episode, Shane recaps the standout moments from the year on the Help for Loving Relationships Show. From exploring the foundations of a happy life to learning about empathy, anxiety, and trauma recovery, he highlights insights from guests like Stevie Hall, Jeremy Edge, and the inspiring story of Heidi and Alex’s journey from pain to renewed connection. Shane also shares updates on trauma-healing resources, including the Green Shoe intensive and his new certification in the Finding Peace Method.

Looking ahead, Shane announces the upcoming Hold Me Tight Couples Workshop in February and reflects on the inspiration he gained from Lisa Marie Shaunessy’s Camino pilgrimage. He closes with a reminder of the key factors that support happiness and a preview of next year’s theme: deepening love and understanding what strengthens—or blocks—it.

I am especially excited to introduce a special friend, Dr Ken McGill who is releasing a new book, "Cultivating Love: Wisdom for Life."

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In this episode, Matt and Joanna Raabsmith share how their Intimacy Pyramid helps couples heal from sexual betrayal by starting with honesty and emotional safety before moving toward deeper vulnerability and intimacy. They discuss the importance of slowing down, doing individual work to stay regulated, and learning how betrayers can respond to their partner’s trauma with humility instead of defensiveness. Matt and Joanna also offer guidance for being proactive in recovery, rebuilding the betrayed partner’s self-trust, and navigating grief, anger, and the uneven pace that often shows up between partners. They explain the difference between trying to control trust versus becoming truly trustworthy, and they close with thoughtful guidelines for knowing when a couple is ready to rebuild healthy sexual intimacy—reminding us that emotional connection is the foundation for physical connection.

https://raabsmithteam.com/