Episode Summary:

Some people receive a DID diagnosis in their twenties.

Some in their forties.

And some spend more than six decades trying to understand themselves before finally finding an answer.

In this deeply honest conversation, we’re joined by Tom from The Kids Are in Charge, diagnosed just 14 months ago at age 64.

What began as a frightening wellness check during a period of profound loss ultimately opened the door to understanding a lifetime of experiences that suddenly made sense.

Together we explore the grief of a late diagnosis, the challenges of being a man with DID, the isolation that can come with aging, and the surprising ways healing emerges when parts finally have room to be seen.

But this conversation is also about something else:

What happens when you spend 64 years believing one story about yourself—and then discover there’s another one underneath it?

Thoughtful, vulnerable, funny, and full of hard-won wisdom, this is a conversation about survival, self-discovery, and learning what it means to finally live with compassion for all the parts that got you here.

Inside This Conversation

• Receiving a DID diagnosis later in life

• Why dissociation is so often missed

• Reinterpreting a lifetime of memories through a new lens

• The unique challenges men face when navigating trauma and dissociation

• Music, creativity, work, and the different parts that show up for each

• Finding community later in life

• Learning to care for younger parts

• Moving from survival mode toward connection, compassion, and genuine relaxation

A Line That Stays With You

“I don’t know if I’m tired… or if this is what relaxed feels like.”

Timestamps

03:20 — The wellness check that changed everything

06:50 — Looking back through a dissociative lens

24:00 — Discovering new parts through video journals

31:00 — When the wrong part shows up for work

39:30 — Doubt, denial, and "Holy Moses" moments

53:30 — Being a man with DID

Resources

Find Tom at The Kids Are In Charge on Instagram

For more resources visit: healingmyparts.org

Healing My Parts Substack

@healingmyparts on Instagram

Whether you're a system navigating your own journey or a clinician supporting one, we'd love to connect. Consults & Services for Professionals and Consultations for Systems

Thank you for listening! 🩷🫶💜

Some people find art. Others are found by it.

Julia Mes had never made art in her life — until about a year and a half ago, when a stone-dotting workshop and a YouTube rabbit hole into neurographic art opened something she didn’t expect. Parts of her system turned out to be artists. Others are still not so sure. And one part has been loudly, clearly stating for months: “I am not an artist.” No further information.

In this conversation, we explore what it looks like when creativity becomes a language between parts, how system mapping evolved from a spreadsheet to a 42-page Google Doc to a park in a shoebox to hand-painted stones. We also move into something rarely discussed: intergenerational trauma, the concept of the “Grandchildren of War,” and what it means to carry images that may belong to another generation entirely.

This one is quiet, honest, and really beautiful.

Inside This Conversation

• When parts disagree about who you are — including one who is very clear: “I am not an artist”

• System mapping as an evolving, tactile, annual practice

• Neurographic art as an unexpected tool for internal communication

• Late discovery, menopause, and the energy that was keeping things submerged

• Growing up in Germany as a grandchild of the Second World War

• Holding images that feel like memory — but may not be yours

• What the messy, funny, sometimes devastating day-to-day looks like

⏱️ Timestamps

00:55 – Introducing Julia and her system

07:43 – How the artistic practice began — by accident

14:04 – When not everyone in the system wants to be an artist

23:01 – System mapping: from spreadsheet to painted stones

32:07 – Finding out you’re a system in your late 40s

34:46 – Menopause, DID, and the energy that kept things submerged

42:54 – Grandchildren of War: intergenerational trauma and the German context

56:54 – The messy middle — desperate days, dark moments, and laughing because it’s so sad

01:02:17 – What Julia wants listeners to take away

If you’ve ever struggled to put your internal experience into words — Julia has an invitation: grab a piece of paper and a Sharpie, write “there is no way to do this wrong,” and see what happens.

Resources

Julia by Mes — juliabymes.com

Instagram: @juliabymes

For more resources visit: healingmyparts.org

Consultation & Training

Healing My Parts Substack — healingmyparts.substack.com

@healingmyparts on Instagram

Thank you for listening! 🩷🫶💜

Episode Summary

Some people discover they’re a system in a single moment.

Others… don’t.

In this episode, we’re joined by Mike and the Committee, a system who came to understand themselves not through diagnosis—but through patterns, reactions, and a question that changed everything:

What protected me?

From there, their journey unfolds in a way that’s messy, human, and deeply relatable.

We talk about what it actually looks like to live as a system while navigating work, relationships, parenting—and the internal chaos that can come with it.

Inside this conversation:

* When system awareness feels more like chaos than clarity

* Learning to recognize which part is activated—and why that matters

* The shift from fearing intense or “dark” parts to understanding their role

* A simple grounding tool they use in real time

* Why safety—not insight—is the foundation of healing

* What happens when you push too fast internally

* The role of the body in healing (and why it doesn’t always happen in therapy rooms)

* The impact of stigma, silence, and being misunderstood in the outside world

This episode doesn’t offer a neat, linear path.It offers something more useful:

A lived-in look at what it means to build trust inside a system—slowly, imperfectly, and over time.

If parts of your experience feel overwhelming…If you’ve ever questioned whether you’re “doing this right”…If you’ve been trying to make sense of something that doesn’t follow clean rules…

You may find a mirror in here.

⏱️ Timestamps

* 00:01:05 – Meet Mike & the Committee

* 00:02:07 – The question that changed everything

* 00:02:18 – A simple tool for overwhelm (BAR)

* 00:05:22 – When system awareness feels like chaos

* 00:08:21 – Rethinking the parts you’re afraid of

* 00:13:49 – An unexpected turning point

* 00:17:02 – From “what’s wrong with me?” to something else

* 00:24:20 – The cost of pushing too fast internally

* 00:35:40 – Stigma, silence, and real-world consequences

* 00:46:00 – Advocacy and being seen

Resources

Books:

The Many Faces of Me

The Throne Within

Etsy Shop:

HealWithCourage

For more resources visit: healingmyparts.org

Healing My Parts Substack

@healingmyparts on Instagram

Thank you for listening! 🩷🫶💜