• Step 1: Acknowledge the Hurt Honestly

Do not minimise what happened. God is not asking you to pretend. David did not pretend — read the Psalms. He cried out his pain before God. Lament is biblical. Start there. "My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen on me. Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me." — Psalm 55:4-5

• Step 2: Make a Decision Before You Feel It

Forgiveness is a choice of the will, not a product of the emotions. You decide first. The feelings follow later — sometimes much later. This is not fake. This is faith. You act on what you know is true before it feels true. That is exactly how salvation works — you confess with your mouth before every emotion has aligned. Forgiveness is the same.

• Step 3: Pray for the Person

"But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." — Matthew 5:44
This is the most powerful and most counter-intuitive step. When you begin to pray for someone, you cannot hate them forever. Prayer changes the person praying. Start with: 'Lord, I do not know how to pray for them right now. But I make myself available. Bless them.' Even that small prayer begins to shift something inside you.

• Step 4: Renew Your Mind Daily

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." — Romans 12:2
Forgiveness is not a one-time event — it is a daily choice until the wound heals. Every time the memory arises and the anger flares, you bring it before God and make the choice again. This is not a sign that you have not forgiven — it is the process of forgiveness working itself deep into your soul.

Heal The World Podcast by Aaron Esenam Ansah

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." — Romans 5:8

Not after you cleaned up. Not after you apologised. Not after you proved you deserved it. While you were still a sinner. That is the Gospel. That is the foundation of everything.

"When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having cancelled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross." — Colossians 2:13-14

Imagine every sin you have ever committed — every lie, every act of selfishness, every broken promise to God — written on a legal document. That document was nailed to the cross. It was cancelled. Paid in full. And the One who cancelled it is the same One who says to you today: 'Now, go and do likewise.'

Heal The World Podcast by Aaron Esenam Ansah

"Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.' And they divided up his clothes by casting lots." — Luke 23:34

He said this while nails were still in His hands. He said this while He was being mocked. He said this at the height of physical agony and public humiliation. If Jesus sets the standard of forgiveness — it is set at the summit. And this is why Paul could write to the Philippians from prison: 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.'

Heal The World Podcast by Aaron Esenam Ansah

Heal The World Podcast by Aaron Esenam Ansah

Heal The World Podcast by Aaron Esenam Ansah

Clearing the Myths About Forgiveness

Let us start here: most people misunderstand forgiveness. And because they misunderstand it, they either refuse to forgive or they try to forgive and feel like they have failed because they still feel the pain.
Let me give you some myths that I want to destroy today.

MYTH 1: Forgiveness means what happened was okay.
No. Forgiveness does not erase the wrong. What was done to you was wrong. God does not ask you to call evil 'good'. He asks you to release your right to be the one who punishes.

MYTH 2: Forgiveness means you forget.
No. The phrase 'forgive and forget' is not in the Bible. God says in Jeremiah 31:34 that He will 'remember their sins no more' — but that is divine choice, not divine amnesia. Forgiveness is a decision, not an emotion.

MYTH 3: Forgiveness means you have to reconcile.
No. Forgiveness is between you and God. Reconciliation requires two people. You can forgive someone fully and still maintain a healthy distance.

MYTH 4: If I still feel pain, I have not truly forgiven.
Wrong. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. You may forgive someone and still feel grief. That is human. The feelings will eventually follow the decision, but we do not wait for the feelings.

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'" — Matthew 18:21-22
Seven was the number of completeness in Jewish culture. Peter thought he was being generous. But Jesus essentially said, 'There is no limit on forgiveness.' It is a lifestyle, not a transaction.

Heal The World Podcast by Aaron Esenam Ansah

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
— Ephesians 5:25 (NIV)

Most people think of marriage as a personal arrangement — a private contract between two people for mutual benefit and companionship. But the Bible presents a far grander vision. Your marriage is not just a relationship. It is a revelation. It is a living sermon that the watching world reads every single day.

When Paul instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, he is not giving relationship advice. He is describing a theological statement. The way a husband loves his wife is meant to be a living picture of how Jesus loves His bride — sacrificially, unconditionally, persistently, and at great personal cost.

And when a wife submits to her husband as the church submits to Christ, she is not being diminished. She is participating in a picture of the most beautiful relationship in the universe — the covenant between the Saviour and His people.

This means that every act of love in your marriage — every moment you choose patience over irritation, forgiveness over bitterness, presence over distraction — is a sermon. Every time you choose your spouse over your ego, you are preaching the gospel without words.
Your children are watching your marriage and learning what love looks like. Your neighbours are watching and deciding whether Christianity is real. The world is looking for evidence that covenant love is possible in a culture of disposable relationships.

Be that evidence. Let your marriage be so marked by the love of Christ that people look at the two of you and want to know the God you serve.

Marriage is hard. It is also holy. Treat it with the reverence it deserves.

Heal The World Podcast by Aaron Esenam Ansah

Then he said to the man of God, “Come home with me and eat some food.”

“No, I cannot,” he replied. “I am not allowed to eat or drink anything here in this place. For the LORD gave me this command: ‘You must not eat or drink anything while you are there, and do not return to Judah by the same way you came.’”

But the old prophet answered, “I am a prophet, too, just as you are. And an angel gave me this command from the LORD: ‘Bring him home with you so he can have something to eat and drink.’” But the old man was lying to him. So they went back together, and the man of God ate and drank at the prophet’s home.

1 Kings 13:15-19 (NLT)

In the account above, a Prophet was sent by God to a city to perform a specific task. He was given a clear instruction of what to do, how to enter the city and how to leave that city. He entered exactly how he was instructed to, did what he was told and left the manner he was instructed to. But on His way going home an old Prophet followed up and gave him a false prophecy; claiming an angel gave him a word from the Lord. So, this Prophet sent by God to the city obeyed the old Prophet and ignored the Lord’s instruction. The result of his disobedience was deadly.

Then while they were sitting at the table, a command from the LORD came to the old prophet. He cried out to the man of God from Judah, “This is what the LORD says: You have defied the word of the LORD and have disobeyed the command the LORD your God gave you. You came back to this place and ate and drank where he told you not to eat or drink. Because of this, your body will not be buried in the grave of your ancestors.”

After the man of God had finished eating and drinking, the old prophet saddled his own donkey for him, and the man of God started off again. But as he was traveling along, a lion came out and killed him. His body lay there on the road, with the donkey and the lion standing beside it.

1 Kings 13:20-24 (NLT)

Many lives have been destroyed because a Prophet’s word was placed above God’s word. Destinies have been cut short because men refused to seek the face of God themselves. Instead, they chased after prophecies here and there. Of course, God reveals to His Prophets sometimes. But in most cases, in time past and now, most Prophets have prophesied and still prophesy without hearing from God. And even the elect has been deceived; making this very mistake of heeding to such prophecies. How dangerous it is to put a Prophet’s word above God’s word.

It is about time you seek God yourself and become obedient to His word. Decide now that you will pray, study God’s word, fast and seek to hear God yourself. It is possible! Mary, the mother of Jesus once said, ‘…“Whatever He says to you, do it.”’ - John 2:5 (NKJV). Whatever Jesus tells you, or will tell you to do, do it! Stop relying on Prophets, Pastors and other servants of God for directions. God has given you the chance to come to Him

Heal The World Podcast by Aaron Esenam Ansah